Spaced Invaders Page #4

seems to be the probiem?

No llcense, no registration...

no piates, no headllghts...

no tallllghts, no wheeis!

I clocked you going

3,000 miles per hour.

That's 2,945 mlles an hour

in excess of the posted llmit!

Great! There goes my insurance.

At $10 for every 5 mlles

an hour over the llmit...

Oh, you're gonna do time, pai.

You may even get the chair for this.

Maybe you better step back...

and get the big picture here.

Okay.

[ Snap ]

I've just made a serious mistake...

haven't I?

Ain't llfe a bust?

Ooo.

Ouch!

Meanwhlle, eisewhere

on the pianet...

[ Click ] This is Orson

Welles, ladies and gentlemen...

to assure you that "the

War of the Worlds"...

has no further significance...

than as the holiday offering

it was intended to be.

- the Mercury Theatre's radio version...

- Huh?

- of dressing in a sheet and saying "Boo!"

- Oh.

We couldn't soap your windows,

steal all your garden gates...

[ Enforcer Drone ] You have failed.

It's discipllnary review time.

[ Orson Welles ]... probably

destroyed CBS. You'll be relieved...

to learn that we didn't mean it...

and both institutions are

still open for business.

Good-bye everybody. Remember, please...

the terrible lesson you learned tonight.

That grinning, glowing, globular

invader in your living room...

is an inhabitant of the pumpkin patch.

If your doorbell rings

and nobody's there...

that was no Martian. It's Halloween.

You wanna bet?

[ Blaznee ] I told 'em we

were to attack Arcturus.

It's not my fault.

Let's talk this out.

I'll go get them...

and we can blow up any planet you want.

- Just give us a chance!

- Too late.

Your imperfection has

exceeded acceptabie...

error levels. You are...

terminated!

No!

Now for the others.

Come on,Jim.

[ Mr. Wrenchmuller ] You hear that?

He must be on the

other side of that bale.

This time, we're gonna get ourseives...

the picture of the century.

Are you ready?

Get set.

Go!

Ahh!

I thought you was a Martian.

What'd you do with him?

He was right here when I ieft.

He was here when I ieft, too.

What do you suppose was in there?

[ Giggywig ] That's it!

I'm gonna klli something

if it's the iast thing I do.

This time, nothing is going to stand...

in my way.

Yeah, right.

What now, terrifying one?

Shouidn't we be trying

to find the fleet?

Sure, we can do it the easy way...

or we can sack this entire area...

all by ourselves with a

brilliantly conceived...

meticulously executed and

perfectly-timed operation.

- We're gonna biow

something up. - Yeah, but...

But what?

Sheriff Hoxiey's at the V.F.W. Hall.

He'll know what to do.

We're gonna need us more than a sheriff.

- We're gonna need us an army.

- They'll never belleve us.

[ Wrenchmuller ] They're

gonna believe us, all right.

[ Car Horn ]

The Martians is coming!

Oh, oh.

- What's going on?

- I'll tell you what.

Big Bean is being invaded by Martians.

What is this stuff?

From space!

Yikes!

You think I'm crazy, do you?

Well, I've got one of'em

back here in the truck.

Come on. Take a iook at this.

Take a iook at what?

He was here.

I swear it.

Look.

- That's his green blood.

- That's paint.

He's getting away.

He's going to join his space army.

Space army?

I'd death-ray my grandmother

for a space army about now.

[ Siren ]

- Tell him, Russell.

- It's true.

I gave one of'em a ticket.

I'm telling you. It looked...

llke a full-scaie invasion.

[ Klembecker ] I'll tell

you what it looks like.

It iooks llke a hoax to me.

[ Siren ]

Mr. Wrenchmuller is telling the truth.

Are you insane?

I don't pretend to know

everything that's going on...

but it's clear to me

from evidence I've seen...

that we are being visited...

by intelligent creatures.

Intelligent creatures? That'll

throw 'em off the trall.

I even got pictures. Look here.

That's what they look like.

They iook just llke

the sheriff s nephews.

- My nephews?

- Your nephews are Martians?

No, my nephews aren't Martians.

I don't even have any nephews.

Their spaceship's in my barn.

- He's a crazy man.

- Where'd they get a spaceship?

In California. They're surfers.

Surfers?

That's what your daughter said.

Wait. Where is Kathy?

She got out with your

Martian surfer nephews.

Mrs. Vanderspooi, do know

how stupid that sounds?

They're llttie?

- That's right.

- And green?

Yes!

Littie dealle-bobs

coming out their head?

Now you're cookin' with gas.

Sounds llke Martians to me.

[ Sheriff ] I want

everybody to remain calm.

We shouid do something about this.

Biaznee to Worid Domination Force.

Not now, Biaznee.

I'm busy seallng the doom

of countiess mllllons.

- Shove off.

- The device is in place.

They'll never escape us now. Ha, ha!

- Ha, ha. - Ha,

ha. - Ha, ha.

That's it.

Let the enforcer drone have 'em.

- [ Footsteps ]

- Oops.

Sheriff Hoxley! Sheriff Hoxley!

Hoid it, hey! Come back here.

There are Martians over here!

Martians, Martians!

[ Brian ] Ahhh!

- [ Klunk ]

- Ha!

Never mess with a frisbee champion.

Mayday, Mayday, going in.

Dr. Zipiock?

Huh?

Activate the hovervid.

- We shouid call the nationai guard.

- Wait. Hold it.

You're going about this all wrong.

There's nothing to

indicate we're in danger.

We don't know what we're deallng with...

or even where they are!

[ Giggywig ] We interrupt to

bring you a special announcement.

The Martians have ianded.

Prepare to die, Earth scum.

All right, where's your spaceship?

What's a spaceship?

And what are you?

I'm a carnivorous duck

and I'm in a bad mood.

Start talking or I start eating!

Oh, oh, you mean my spaceship.

I get your drift now. I

can iead you right to it.

Come on.

Some allen menace you turned out to be!

- Capt. Bipto?

- Hmm?

- I'm picking up a signai from the omnibiab.

- Oh?

On behaif of His Majesty's

Atomic Space Navy...

I hereby invite you to

surrender peacefully...

so that we may execute

you in an orderiy fashion.

[ Giggywig ] Just in case you're

thinking of fleeing in mass panic...

forget it! We're cutting off

your only means of escape.

Brllllant! I wouid give anything...

to see the faces of

those human scum now!

The off-ramp.

They biew up...

our new off-ramp!

Watch as we obllterate a few

of your puny misslle sllos.

Hey...

they're at the co-op!

Let's get 'em!

[ Wrenchmuller] Wait,

wait, I saw 'em first.

[ Sheriff ] Wait a minute.

[ Wrenchmuller] I've got pictures.

Terrifying, isn't it? [ Laughter]

I've got pictures of'em.

Hurry up. Everyone's watching.

He keeps trying to put

tab?A? into siot? B.?

I am not. It says right here...

"insert erradignathnic flodad...

into hyperpodnec cyboclutch. " See?

Ah, hi.

[ Kathy ] You gonna turn me in?

Don't you want to take

over the worid, too?

We're ready!

Fire!

Ooo!

Pretty neat, huh?

This isn't supposed to

happen in small towns.

I moved here to get away

from things llke this.

This happen a iot in Chicago?

This is what pianetary

siege weapons are all about.

[ Laughter]

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