Spanglish Page #2

Isn't that good?

Okay, think seriously about getting up.

You don't have to get up yet,

but are you thinking seriously about it?

- Yes.

- Okay.

My God. This is amazing!

A simple "it's good" will do.

I'm glad you like it.

But you could do without this.

No!

Flor, never do fetch to Chum! Never!

I'm not mad. I'm thinking of you.

This is me being nice.

Okay. It's just...

no taking the ball from the dog.

Just don't. No fetch.

No. Never do fetch with this dog.

Okay? Never.

Here, can you make us

some coffee, maybe? Yeah?

Okay. Right. Thank you.

- Now?

- Yes, actual up.

Hey, Dad!

Are you as mad at me as Mum

'cause of what happened?

No, Georgie, I'm not.

Are you mad at me?

- No.

- Good.

Let's hope.

When it comes to the kids, John,

we got to stay on the same page!

United. Doing consistent parenting.

Do you know how many books

on parenting I've read?

Deb, since high school we've been able

to read each other. Take advantage of it.

Word for word, what did you say

to Georgie exactly?

"No, I'm not mad."

Good guy...

bad guy.

Come on.

What the hell are you doing?

Everything's okay.

- John.

- Yes.

Do you really think that cupping my breast...

- is going to solve the issue here?

- It's worked before.

Now it's infuriating me.

- Wrong breast.

- Oh, my God!

No, I know what you mean.

Oh, my God. Don't do the calm thing.

Just don't go there. Don't do that thing.

This is very important to you. Us.

I just like to level with Georgie.

That's why I answered him this way.

This is not an argument, honey.

Yes, it is!

We're having a fight, John.

A big fight, at last.

So could you stop

being so stark raving calm?

Great God in heaven, save me.

Hi.

I didn't know Deb found somebody.

You work here?

You're gonna help out

with the house and kids?

You work here

and you don't speak any English at all?

All she has to do is dial 911

and press two for Spanish.

This is...

Flor, this is Georgie and this is John.

John, this is Flor.

Flor.

Great. I'll take Georgie to school.

No, I'm doing it.

I'm gonna show Flor the ropes.

Flor, will you come with me, please?

Come. Thank you.

- She's mad.

- You're fine. Deb?

- What?

- You love me.

- Not the best place to stand, fella.

- No, it's me. I'm bugged.

I'm sorry.

Not a problem.

You're the new helper, Alex, right?

Okay, welcome. First day.

John, I have something very important

to tell you.

- Damn.

- What?

Victor recognised a food critic

over the phone.

- From?

- The Times.

I'll bet they sent her

across the country just for us.

- If you're nervous, take a walk.

- I don't need a walk.

I'll walk with you. I know a breathing thing.

What do you think I'm worried about?

How I'm gonna cook?

That's not the thing. That's not the problem.

I worked at a restaurant in New York

that had four stars.

It was like a line formed

to become an a**hole.

People's accents changed.

The heart went out of the place.

You understand?

- No.

- I agree with everything you just said.

I admire you for your feelings.

I hope to adopt them as my own.

Here we are, ladies.

I don't know what to root for.

The thought of one star gets me nauseous...

but with four, there's no place to go but,

"My God, they took away one of my stars!"

- The Times liked the first course.

- You know what you want?

Three and a quarter stars.

Yes, that would be perfect.

It'd mean you're good,

but not good enough to feel disappointed...

you just missed out on excellence.

You still get enough respect.

Good people wanna work with you.

Business is good, not crazy.

You're right below the radar,

where you get to mind your own business.

That's a good, solid life.

Big wipe.

I'm in the vitamin section

and this little hip-hop girl, what's her name?

Nice surprise, thank you. You want some?

This little hip-hop girl, what's her name?

Grammys.

She's famous. You kids know her. Oh, darn.

God bless the language barrier.

It keeps you from being bored with me.

Anyway, she said:

- "Aren't you Evelyn Wright?"

- Oh, my God!

First of all, that she remembered me

from the old covers.

- Yeah.

- And then she...

- Oh, please. Her name.

- Stop it.

- It makes the story so much better.

- It's still a good story.

She said:

"Whenever I think everything's"...

Pardon my French, pardon her French.

"A mother-hm-hm...

"I put on one of your records."

Oh, my God.

That is so sweet.

Well, you think your life is embarrassing,

and then...

somebody finds encouragement in it.

- You understand?

- I think I do.

Mum, it's not even noon.

- This is going to work.

- I don't know anything.

Free your mind.

"The president whose policies...

"many consider responsible

for the Great Depression."

I don't know.

- Name a vacuum cleaner.

- What?

- Okay, I got it.

- Hoover.

- I said I had it. You don't trust me?

- Okay.

I no longer know nothing.

And Hoover was followed in office by...

I'm just drawing blanks. I'm embarrassed.

It's my own fault.

I spent all my time on math,

which I'm lucky if I don't flunk, anyway.

Stop it.

The man you're looking for is not a ruse.

- What does "ruse" mean?

- Phony.

Roosevelt!

If I'd ever heard of that word before,

that would lock it in.

- Surprise! New clothes.

- What?

- What did I do right?

- It was a warehouse sale.

I went nuts. I got so much stuff.

Great! She needed a boost.

That came together.

I wouldn't wear it together, it's a little much.

Eight?

What?

- Eight.

- What?

- Bernie, come on. Listen.

- What's going on?

You're gonna do it,

and you're gonna look beautiful.

Honey, I just...

You are going to lose that weight, and...

You know...

I'm glad you didn't get here earlier,

because...

then I wouldn't be able to tell you that...

your gift to me...

is a ruse.

- Honey, I...

- Please, just excuse me.

- Hey, Bernie...

- I just...

I just need to be alone right now, okay?

I'm sorry. It's okay.

We have to be able to endure this, John,

if we're gonna help her.

I'll just gonna hang out here

and wait for you, okay?

Her paediatrician intervened on

his own daughter's weight, and she is an 8.

Dad, don't.

Didn't you ever just need a minute?

Yes.

This is the same page

that I'm talking about, John.

We gotta be on the same page.

That's the most important thing.

I don't know why it has to be so hard.

I need a minute.

She's right between the two sizes.

I thought about it.

What am I supposed to do?

Encourage her denial...

or motivate her to get herself in shape?

Flor?

Me go.

- Okay.

- I'll take you to the bus stop.

Sorry, I didn't even help you with the door.

No, what I meant was...

My mother did not understand

her male boss.

He seemed as upset as she was

over what had been done to Bernice...

Sh*t!

... and yet had done nothing.

I am running out of excuses

for the lady of the house!

But, man, Bernice's final is tomorrow.

She didn't need this one.

And just the look on her face

when she got the gifts!

Like for one second she thought...

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