Spawn Page #2

Can I keep her?

Hey.

Oh, of course not.

No pets allowed.

A little something for lovely here?

Baby exorcist.

All right.

Come on, my barbecued friend.

Don't want to keep that side order

of potato salad waiting, now do we?

Terry...

He knew my name.

- Are you sure?

Come on.

Let's get the kids inside.

You can't get married.

Wanda's the best thing

that ever happened to me.

I'm there for you, buddy.

This is my last mission.

Wait for me.

I just don't want to lose you, baby.

You will never lose me.

I promise.

Oh, yes we are...

Master and I are going to have words.

He knows I hate clowns.

God, I hate 'em.

I hate 'em all.

I hate Bozo, Ronald, Chuckles...

...with their freakin' dumb noses

and their lousy party hats.

I don't mind being short, fat, and ugly,

but the pay sucks.

What? Hey.

Easy with that face.

I'm eating.

Oops. A wet one.

I hope I didn't stain my underwear.

Look at that.

Skid marks.

Get away from me, you freak.

Oh, coming from a monster,

that really hurts my feelings.

Hey, come back here, bacon face.

I'm not done with you yet.

Feels like my skin is about to explode.

That's your viral necroplasm

going through its larval stage.

Move over.

Pretty soon you're gonna

get hair in funny places,

and you're gonna start thinking about girls.

Tell me about it.

Talk to me.

Just get me to a hospital.

A hospital?

Have you looked in a mirror,

lately, burnt man walking?

Even the entire cast of 'ER'

couldn't put you back together again.

How do I put this to you?

You're, ah, pushing up daisies.

You're in permanent nap time.

You're fertilizer.

Hey, is any of this sinking in?

You're dead.

D-e-d. Dead.

I guess five years feeding earthworms...

...has eaten what little

brain there was in there.

What are you?

Well, allow me to kick-start your memory.

Hang on.

These flashbacks can be killers.

You're the dead man.

This is the bargain.

If you lead my army, you

can see Wanda again.

What is your answer?

Yes...

Yes, I will lead your army.

Anything for Wanda.

If you fail me, you will die.

Avenge your murder.

Kill Jason Wynn.

Foul Malebolgia spent five

years preparing the Earth...

...for your arrival, mister.

A little death,

a little destruction...

...perfect marriage.

Speaking of marriage...

...guess who's not your wifeola anymore?

And the winners are: Wanda and Terry.

Multiplying like rabbits.

And jumpin' and pumpin'...

...and doin' it and...

You stay away from her.

I don't want Wanda.

I want you to take care of Wynn.

And then you and the army can

kick some angelic buttocks.

And in return for your services,

we'll get Wanda back for you.

Heck, you could have every

Wanda on the planet.

Why settle for leftovers, huh?

I like this guy.

Oh, you kill me.

Go ahead, stud.

This is all some sadistic game of Wynn's.

And when I catch him...

...he's gonna wish he had killed

me when he had the chance.

That's it.

That's the spirit.

Just think of me as your guardian angel.

The clown from Hell.

You're Jimmy Stewart,

and I'm Clarence.

'Uh, well, well, every time somebody farts,

'a demon gets his wings, ah...'

Oops, twins.

Get away from me, you

foul-smelling maggot.

Well, you still don't get

it, do you, Amnesia Boy?

We're gonna have to dig a little deeper.

What is this?

This is where old folks go after Florida, son.

What is that you say?

Can I dig up my body now?

Why, certainly.

Of course you can.

If you strike oil, half of it is mine.

Start digging.

I command the forces of darkness

to bestow their powers unto me.

Told you we needed to watch the Exorcist.

Hey, how 'bout we get back

to that sacri-fighting idea?

You know what I need here, man?

A fresh skull, man.

Yeah, you.

A fresh skull...

Get away.

- A fresh skull.

A little bit more dead inside.

Noooooo.....

Oh, come on.

You scream like a girl.

Do it like this.

Someone's a little angry 'cause

they died and went to...

Hello, my mutant, hello, my carcass,

hello, my bug-infested corpse.

Did, like, Satan send you guys?

How come God hogs up all

the good followers,

and we get all the retards?

Hey, what's up with that face?

Get your hands off me.

Help.

What is that?

Look, it's so big.

That thing...

Shocked and amazed at the

wonders of necroflesh?

You're not alone.

For a limited time only,

you, too, can have this

handsome epidermis...

...for the eensy price of your

soul and a butt load of pain.

Let's get out of here.

- Oh, my God.

I hate weekend Satanists, don't you?

Look at you.

Look at you...

From spawn larva to full-fledged

Hellspawn in record time.

What... is this?

Oh, boy, you were tied to the tracks,

and that stupid train just kept

running over you, now, didn't it?

Running over you.

Name of the people and things of Hell,

I dub thee...

Spawn.

General of Hell's armies.

Arise, Your Crispness.

Arise, Duke of Deep-Fried.

Sultan of Sizzling.

Emir of Ooey-Gooey.

All right, so I suck as a clown.

Bite me.

Now look, do your job, and I'll be

the first to kiss your black butt,

but if you can't hack it,

I'll gladly FedEx your worthless carcass...

...back to the frying pan,

where Malebolgia will be

waiting for both of us.

You'll wake up the dead.

Ooh, that's you.

You know, dead people

can still die, Shreky.

All I got to do is cut off your head.

Oh, God.

Did you have to use the 'G' word?

La, la, la, la, la, la, la...

Wanda...

What have I done?

You done with this Hallmark moment?

Cos I can't take any more of

this sentimental crap. Come on.

I'll come back when your armor hardens.

Don't play with it.

You'll go blind.

I have a few more details to attend to,

and then we can play.

Yuck.

I hate anchovies.

Um, I tastes so good, I

could kick some puppies.

Good.

This freak stuff's gonna come in handy...

...when I get my hands on Wynn.

You're letting them get to you.

Easy, friend.

Every choice has its consequences.

Who are you?

An assassin... like you.

Only, I killed for the Kingdom

of Saxony, 500 years ago.

I am Cogliostro.

That's all you need to know...

for now.

Are there any normal people left on Earth?

Or is everyone just back from Hell?

How do you address the

accusations from some...

...quarters that the CIA

only acts to protect...

...protect the government's

economic interests...

...in the regions of conflict?

I think the government

has been as attentive...

...to the sensitivities of the

nations involved, as possible.

Since the unfortunate incident

in Southeast Asia last week,

Director Wynn has been meeting

with several world leaders...

...in an attempt to quell the proliferation...

...of global conflicts.

And has this produced

any positive results?

I heard that last week's peace summit

between the Arabs and Israelis was...

Fitzgerald may be a spineless bureaucrat,

but he's doing a great P.R. job for me.

Whole world is going to

Hell in a hand basket.

But, thanks to him, he's just

another story on the 5:00 news.

Like lambs to the slaughter.

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