Spetters Page #5

and your parents...

...So we all chipped in and

bought you a little something.

Here you go, it's yours.

It's motorized.

-Well, why don't I give it a spin.

-Sure, let's go.

We'll expect you to come visit us

as often as we come to see you.

That's the start button.

Fantastic.

I might just be champion

in this thing one day.

Marching band!

One.. two...

Come.

-You've completely rebuilt it.

-It will easier for you to go inside.

-It was supposed to be ready at twelve o'clock?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Do I have to wait for that as well?

-Yes. So What? I'll be right back.

-Hello.

-Hi.

-I came to get some gas.

-No problem.

-Fill her up.

-The car?

-You've been busy lately.

-Yeah.

I want to talk to you sometime.

-Sure.

-When?

-How about now?

-Let's take a ride.

-Hey! Come back tomorrow!

-Are you mental?

-Where are we going?

-Somewhere quiet. Okay?

-I've got a nice bed back in the trailer...

-What do you mean?

Jesus.

Dead end.

-Watch it, prick! The car's slipping away!

-F***in' brakes!

-Jesus! I thought you could drive?!

-Jesus!

-F***ing car!

-Calm down, damnit!

There's my father!

Use the horn!

Hey dad,

over here!

-Got a towing cable?

-It's in the back.

-What do you smell?

-It's nice...

-...I don't smell any fries here.

-No, just ditches and cow sh*t.

F***ing sh*t country, f***ing lowlands...

...I'm getting out of here.

I'm off to Canada.

-Canada?

-Yup.

-What's over there?

-Adventure...it's not for everyone.

Man, you'll need at least ten grand

to even get there and to get settled.

I'll get it...

I'm nearly there.

-I've seen that woman in the pub.

-It's Fien, from the snack bar.

She's no good.

-What's your problem, f***ing hick farmer?!

-Cool it, he's my father!

She paints her face,

like the whores of Babylon.

-So I'm a whore, god damnit?

-He's not talking about you, Babylon is a biblical city.

-The old guy is a jerk.

-That's why I'm getting out of here.

-Are you coming along to Canada?

-Man, your penniless.

Am I?

-Where did you get it?

-..there's more where that came from.

Hmmm...

-Hey Rien.

-Hi.

-How are you doing?

-Okay.

(Surinam accent) That hits the spot!

-How's Eef doing?

-I barely see him. He's always off to somewhere.

Dad and me took a day off.

So did the rest of the marching band.

That's nice.

I'm sorry I didn't come to see you...

I don't like hospitals much.

Me neither.

I'll show you something.

Come with me.

...Not a scratch.

Those gooks were glad to get rid of me.

They didn't even want them back.

That's decent of them.

You can have them.

They're yours.

-You're kidding?

-It's allright. I talked it over with my dad.

How am I going to pay for them?

I'm broke.

I told you, they're yours.

We are buddies right?

You better become the champion

in my place though.

-What do you want?

-Just looking.

-That's free. Are you practicing?

-I got a new bike.

Dog food?

But you don't have a dog.

Hey... you don't put stuff

like this in a kroket, do you?

If it's good enough for Barry Hulshof's dog,

it's good enough for my customers.

Jesus...

My aunt's been eating it for ten years,

ever since my uncle lost his job.

You're lying...

Nope, she lives in America,

in California. She's very healthy.

...for a shiny coat and a wet nose...

-Eef! Eef ate four of them. Four!

You had one too.

What about food inspectors?

If the cops find out...

The police?

Pffft.

Hans?

My car won't start...

(Voice on Radio) # ...'Everybody's talking

about Pop Muzik,' here's 'M!' #

Hey... I guess I earned

a little something...

Hmm. Come inside with me...

-Yes, who else wants some?

-Some hot fries please.

Delicious kroket, huh?

-It's good for your nose!

-Come on.

Well well, little Hans...

-Got some practice in, kiddo?

-Hey, Eef...

-Hmmm...

-Beers for the both of you?

-Sure. -Fine

-That's one powerful bike!

-Think you can handle it?

-If Gerrit can do it, so can I.

-Yeah, but he was always the number one.

Just wait and see,

I'll do the same...

if you become my mechanic,

like you were for Rien.

For an amateur like you?

I can think of better ways to spend

my time. I'll make better money too.

Check this out...

Two one-way plane tickets to Canada,

they're valid for six months.

Two...?

Yeah, in case I want

to take someone with me.

-Like who?

-Not you.

-This is part of the deal.

-Hmmm...

-And?

-Not bad...

Okay, I'm out of here.

Wait, stay here.

I'm leaving anyway...

I work for a contractor, making some money

on the side. I'll see you around. Bye.

-How about a beer, Hans?

-Yes.

Is something going on

between you and Eef?

Tell me...

-Here, do you smell anything?

-Just hair.

No, it's the smell of fries and frying oil.

And this?

More grease,

a mix of oil and horse lard.

I smell of frying oil all over,

I want to get rid of the f***ing smell!

By going to Canada, with Eef?

That's where your aunt

is eating dog food!

-That's California...

-Same thing. It's the same crap everywhere.

Why not stay with me?

Why would I?

-Because I'm going to be champion.

-Do you think so?

Sure...

I'm training with Witkamp.

Really? (Radio) # ...from Sweden,

'ABBA,' with 'Chiquitita!' #

Well well...

-Why don't you take it off?

-What about you?

-Okay?

-Let's try this...

Well, here we go,

I guess...

It's my brothers

body building magazine...

A cock with a sense of direction...

-A rider.

-Uh-uh.

-Faster?

-If you like.

Look into my eyes as you come?

-I'm first.

-Uh-uh.

I'm getting a beer.

-Nice and cold.

-Yes...

...just like me.

Oh? I guess we'll just

have to do it again.

-Again? Already?

-Yes.

What are you looking at,

stupid c*nt?

...let me tell you,

brothers and sisters...

...the Bible tells us to knock

and the door will open...

...so knock on the door. Now!

For Jesus is the door...

...Jesus will open to you!

Halleluja! halleluja! halleluja!

For we all know, Jesus is the son of God!

...halleluja! Halleluja! Praise the Lord!

Let us be glad, the Bible

tells us of Jesus of Nazareth...

...but the bible also tells us

about God. Who is God?

An a**hole!

An a**hole who dealt

me a shitty hand!

Disease is the devil!

What is the devil? Who?

The doctor,

the doctor who let me live.

The devil makes disease.

God is the healer!

What are his office opening hours?

Just laugh people,

laugh all you want...

...but that won't help this boy.

God's office is open anytime, son.

And you can talk to God

whenever you want to...

...and I'm certain he will give

you two listening ears...

It will be in stereo!

You keep that brave face boy...

...but if it becomes too much to bear,

remember that office.

I can set you up an appointment.

Just stop by anytime.

Brothers and sisters,

we are going!

Yes!

(singing) # we're on a journey

together, halleluja... #

# We're on a journey together,

halleluja... #

# ...to answer the question,

halleluja... #

# ...what it is to be

a christian today...halleluja... #

Rien! Wait a moment!

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