SPF-18 Page #2

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could just lay here all year.

Yeah, I don't think Northwestern is

going to let you major in house-sitting.

Is that where you're going to?

Me, Northwestern?

Nah. Not smart enough.

You're smart. There's just

different kinds of smart.

He is a great artist.

But I don't know if I should do that.

I mean, a year ago, I

wanted to be a pro surfer.

So maybe art school's

just a way of buying time.

Mmm. Why do you have to decide now?

Because my mom's on my ass? Because

I'm expected to do something?

At least she cares, right?

So, what do you think you'll do next year?

I had to grow up pretty fast

with my parents shipping me off

to boarding school as a kid, so...

I actually want to slow down for a second.

Well, cheers to that.

So, that disco ball just gave me an idea...

Prom do-over?

I think I still have my prom dress

in the bottom of my bag.

I could borrow something of Keanu's.

Oh!

Honey, you're so beautiful. I'm so proud.

Thanks, Mom. I love your Botox.

Now what am I gonna wear?

Silk sheets.

Hey.

Did I tie this right? Does it look okay?

- There. You look sharp.

- Thanks.

So, it's a big night for you and Penn.

Mmm. What did she say?

Oh, you know, nothing, but, um...

- if you want my advice?

- Do I?

She's going to require some wooing.

You know, be poetic.

And pay attention to her earlobes.

They're an erogenous zone.

I didn't know that Penny

came with instructions.

Hmm. Then you must not know her that well.

My baby's all grown up.

Be cool, Penny. Act

like you're in a movie.

I'm dying for some guacamole.

I guess I'll go whip some up.

I'm a virgin.

Say what?

I just wanted to be honest with you.

But don't worry. It's not

like I expect you to hold me

for 48 hours after or anything.

I just wanted you to know.

Okay. Well, is there anything else

that you really want me to know?

Glow in the dark? Or...

tingly-warm?

You are so prepared.

I mean...

in a sexy way.

And I really like your earlobes.

Hmm.

Hello!

Where did you come from?

What's up?

So how was it, champ?

How was it? How was it? How was it?

How was it? How was it?

- It was good.

- Mmm.

I mean, we were very naked,

and it was definitely

kind of awkward,

but he was sweet.

Did you see where he went?

I think he was heading out to surf.

Yo, yo, yo, dude!

Hey, yo! Kenny G!

The tide's coming in! Let's go!

Yo, dude. We got a complaint.

Some kid parked his van overnight

just north of El Matador.

Tennessee plates.

Sounds like a camper. I'll go check it out.

This is a big deal. He hasn't

gone out since his dad died.

Who's he with?

Maybe it's the naked guy I saw last night!

Naked guy?

Naked... and wet.

Is that your van parked up

there on private property?

Is it not supposed to be there?

I'm really sorry. I drove

all the way from Tennessee...

I've got to issue a citation

for unlawful camping.

Man, cut the guy a little slack.

Johnny.

I can't believe they

let you be a lifeguard.

- Is there trouble?

- Get that out of my face.

And, you, with the saxophone,

I'm gonna need some ID.

It makes me so sad that we as a society

are still so inflexible

about public nudity.

What nudity? I'm writing him up for

having a sleepover on state property.

I swear, I didn't know you

couldn't camp on the beach.

- But whose beach is it really?

- California's.

Isn't that just what we've been told?

I mean, California is a

concept. It's a way of saying,

"We're not Nevada, and thank God for that."

That's a fascinating perspective, but...

When I come home from a day at the shore

and I've got sand in my

bikini crotch, am I...

stealing from state property, sir?

Okay, cool it with the "sir."

Yet, this young man,

who lies upon said sand,

is somehow threatening

your concept of ownership?

Do you want a citation too?

I'll make it a warning.

And my Gram says there

are no good people in LA.

Just move the van.

You can park it in the

driveway. I'll show you.

- For real?

- Yeah. Come on.

I really like lifeguards.

You're like the sons of Poseidon.

Hi, boys.

Was that Pamela Anderson?

Welcome to Malibu.

You live here?

Nah, just house-sitting.

Why were you sleeping on the beach, dude?

Uh, short story is, I

wanted to find myself.

Something compelled me to look out here.

The first sight of the ocean and...

I don't know how else to explain it.

It's just where I need to be.

I know the feeling.

...property, sir?

Okay, cool it with the "sir."

Yet, this young man,

who lies upon said sand...

Hey, this is, uh, Ash.

- He's gonna hang out for a while.

- Hey.

Thanks for helping me out back there.

- Namaste.

- God bless.

Johnny, wait up.

Hey. I saw you with your board.

Is everything okay?

- Were you gonna go surf?

- I just... I just need a minute.

- And about last night...

- I know. Can we...

Can we just talk about this later?

All she wanted to say

was that she was glad it was him.

So it kind of looked like

you were giving yourself

a sexy baptism last night.

Uh, not a sexy baptism.

Just the regular ol' baptism.

- Are you being serious?

- Yeah.

I thought it was the perfect time

to renew my faith in the Lord.

If... I knew I had an audience,

I probably would've worn pants.

You're religious.

I take it you're not.

Let's just say, I operate from this...

awareness that we're all just these...

tiny little specks on

this rotating spaceship.

I don't mean to be

disrespectful, but then...

what is the difference between

spirituality and... astronomy?

Found him!

Steve! The lifeguard.

We wanted to find him?

I was pretty happy to see him go.

You noticed how weird

Johnny's been acting, right?

Well, I knew there had to be a story.

So, I googled "Steve,

lifeguard, Malibu, rude,"

but it wasn't until I added Johnny's

dad's name into the mix that I found this.

"Professional surfer Steve Galmarini

has received a three-year

suspension after testing positive

for performance-enhancing drugs.

He is the first athlete to be suspended

under the World Surf League's

new drug testing guidelines."

That guy doesn't need

'roids, he needs a chill pill.

It says that Johnny's dad

was Steve's first coach.

But there was some kind of falling out.

What if it was over the drugs?

It says here that some people think

Johnny's dad died on that

wave because he was out there

trying to win back the community's

respect after the drug scandal.

Yikes.

I can't believe he didn't tell me this.

I'll get it.

There's something I have to give you.

I don't want anything from you.

I remember my dad wearing that.

He got it on a surfing trip in Bali.

It's supposed to protect

you from, like, yourself.

Everyone was talking about

him, putting him on a pedestal,

but... he never bought into it.

I wasn't at your dad's memorial because...

he didn't need the embarrassment.

But that doesn't mean I wasn't gutted.

There's something else too.

Marianas waves are hitting

the cove tomorrow afternoon.

You wanna come out?

I gave up surfing.

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