Spider-Man: Far From Home

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Nick, this was a tragedy, but it's not why we're here.

What, are we fighting the weather now?

Locals say the cyclone had a face.

People see things when they're under stress.

That does not mean that this is the start to some other big world-ending

Who are you?

You don't want any part of this.

Gone but not forgotten.

Thanks to Kenneth Lim and Vihaan Ramamurthy for their help with that touching video tribute.

This year has been nothing short of ***. It is crazy. It's insane.

Jason. What?

No swearing.

It's the last day of school. We're good.

Historic.

Over five years ago, half of all life in the universe, including our own Midtown High, was wiped from existence.

Then eight months ago, a band of brave heroes brought us back.

They called it "the Blip."

Those of us who Blipped away came back the same age But our classmates that didn't Blip had grown five years older.

My little brother is now older than me. Yeah, it's math.

Even though we had Blipped away halfway through the school year and had already taken midterms, the school made us start the whole year over from the beginning.

It's totally unfair.

It's not right.

Tigers, it's been a long, dramatic, somewhat confusing road.

As we draw this year to a close, it's time to move on to a new phase of our lives. Pray nothing crazy happens again because are the Avengers even a thing anymore?

Does anyone even have a plan? I have a plan.

Okay, first, I'm gonna sit next to MJ on the flight.

Second, I'm gonna buy a dual-headphone adapter and watch movies with her the whole time.

Okay. Three, when we go to Venice Venice is famous for making stuff out of glass, right?

True. So I'm gonna buy her a black dahlia necklace because her favorite flower is the black dahlia because of, well The murder.

The murder. Four, when we go to Paris, I'm gonna take her to the top of the Eiffel Tower, give her the necklace.

Then, five, I'm gonna tell her how I feel.

Then, six, hopefully she tells me she feels the same way.

Oh, don't forget step seven.

Step seven? Don't do any of that.

Why? We're gonna be bachelors in Europe.

Ned. Look, I may not know much, but I do know this:

Europeans love Americans.

Really? More than half of them are women.

Okay. Sure.

But I really like MJ, man, okay?

She's awesome, she's super funny in a kind of dark way.

Sometimes I catch her looking at me, I feel like I've stood up She's coming. Don't say anything. What up, dorks?

Excited about the science trip? Hey, we're talking about the trip.

Yeah, and Peter's plan. You have a plan?

I don't I don't have a plan.

No, he's just gonna collect tiny spoons when we're traveling to other countries.

Like a grandmother?

I'm not collecting tiny spoons. He's collecting tiny spoons.

Oh, okay, well that was a real roller coaster.

By the way, travel tip:

You should download a VPN on your phone, so the government can't track you while we're abroad.

Smart. Will do.

Dude, I think that went really great.

When I Blipped back to my apartment, the family that was living there was very confused.

The wife thought that I was a mistress.

The grandma thought that I was a ghost. It was It was really a mess.

Thank you for coming out to support those who have been displaced by the Blip.

And, of course, thanks to our very own Spider-Man!

Thank you, Miss Parker, for having me.

And thank you, you guys, for having me.

And thank you, Spider-Man.

He'll be right back out to take photos and videos. Thank you!

That was amazing. That was great.

That was so cool. I was so nervous. I was a little stiff. I wasn't in the pocket.

I thought you did great. You were a little stiff.

Yeah, I felt that too. I felt that too.

It's fine, it's fine. Okay.

Did you get your passport? Yeah.

Mini toothpaste? Yeah, I did.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Happy. Hey. Oh, you look lovely.

Thanks. You too. Thank you.

New dress? Yeah, yes, it is.

It's a new beard. It's my My Blip beard.

I grew it in the Blip.

It's a Blip beard.

I see. Yeah.

The reason I'm late is because this was misplaced at the office.

Can you believe it? Because it's enormous. Not the amount, the size.

The amount's nice too. They're generous.

Pepper said, sorry she couldn't be here. Yeah. Thank you.

I think I'm gonna go change the Sterno under the vegan lasagna.

Spider-Man, go shake hands.

Will do.

What just happened?

Heads up, Nick Fury's calling you.

Fury's gonna call me? Why? Yeah.

Why? He probably has hero stuff for you to do.

You're a superhero. He calls superheroes.

If it was that important, he'd probably call someone else, not me.

Apparently not.

No caller ID. That's him. I don't wanna talk to Fury.

Answer the phone. Why?

If you don't talk to him, I have to, and I don't want to.

Why not? Because I'm scared. Answer the phone.

You sent Nick Fury to voicemail? Yeah.

You don't send Fury to voicemail. Hear that? They're calling me.

I gotta go. You gotta talk to him.

I'm gonna call him. I promise you, I'm gonna call him. I will.

You do not ghost Nick Fury.

I promise you, I'll call him.

After my trip.

Hey!

Yeah, hi No, no, he's not ghosting you.

Okay, one question at a time.

Are you the head Avenger? Are you the head Avenger now?

No, I'm not.

If the aliens come back, what are you gonna do?

If the aliens come back, what will you do?

Does anyone have any neighborhood questions?

Sean Winford, Queens Tribune.

What it is like to take over from Tony Stark?

Those are some big shoes to fill.

I'm I'm gonna go. Thanks so much, everyone, for coming.

Okay.

Hungry?

So sorry.

I thought you could sense that with your Peter-tingle.

Please do not start calling it my Peter-tingle.

What's up? You can dodge bullets but not bananas?

No, I just really need this vacation. I need a break.

You deserve it.

Yeah.

You know what?

You should pack your suit, just in case. I have a tingle about it.

Please stop saying "tingle," May.

No.

No. No, I'm not.

Yeah! Can you help me get my stuff up here?

Oh, sorry, that's mine. No worries.

Middle seat gets both armrests. Give me a tablet.

Do you want the first shift or the second? I could take either.

Give me the third shift. I took an Ambien.

I can't chaperone these kids alone. Yo, Parker.

This is called an airplane. It's like the buses you're used to, except it flies over the poor neighborhoods instead of driving through them.

Ma'am?

He Blipped, so technically, he's 16, not 21.

I'll take that.

She's lying. I don't even know this girl.

Classic MJ, right?

Did you know Brad was coming?

It It's so weird.

One day, he's that kid who cried and got nosebleeds all the time, and suddenly, we Blip back, and he's totally ripped and super nice and all these girls are after him.

Not all the girls are after him. No, man, they're all after him.

Yeah. Here.

Anyway, on to more important things.

It's a nine-hour flight. We can play Beast Slayers the whole time.

Are you excited?

I need your help to sit next to MJ.

Seriously? Yes, seriously.

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