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Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Mike McCoy!

You're all wet.

I saw you last night at the Crazy Club.

You sing great.

- You could have got me killed.

- You sure killed me.

Oh, and what you do with a song.

Do you know it was all I could do

to keep from jumping up on the stage.

Knock it off, will you?

You just demolished me and you're

there yapping as if nothing happened.

- You're cute.

- No, you're cute.

The way you sing, the way drive,

the way you get mad.

Mike, I really go for you.

Honey, I'm just about to go for you.

I can hardly wait.

If you're not gone in three seconds,

I'll put you over my knee...

I'll paddle your bottom

until it's as red as that jalopy.

But I'm only wearing...

That's good, because

you're gonna feel it, too.

So long, Mike, for now.

"So long, Mike, for now."

Thank you.

This is our last night.

It's really been great

here in Santa Barbara.

In fact, I don't know when

we've had such a good time...

singing, that is.

Anyway, we'd like to thank you

for your hospitality...

and we hope you'll ask us back.

Goodbye.

- They're a great audience.

- We were pretty good, too.

- You were wonderful, Mike.

- Would you pack my things, buddy?

I'd like to check out the Cobra

before we take off.

- Sure, Mike.

- Thanks, pal.

- My pleasure.

- We'll see you in the car.

Don't be too long.

- I'll be seeing you, baby.

- Yeah, sure.

Excuse me, baby. Sir.

- So long, anyway.

- Mr. McCoy?

- Yeah.

- I'm Howard Foxhugh.

- Of Foxhugh Motors?

- That's right.

You put out great cars.

That Foxhugh Whiplash of yours,

that was a good car.

- Thank you.

- I raced against it once.

I know. I saw you in that race.

You were pretty good.

Thank you. I'll be seeing you.

- Model J Duesenberg, '29, right?

- Yup.

When I was a kid this was one of the most

powerful cars around.

It still is.

They sure don't make them

like that anymore.

A Cobra 427.

That what you race in?

I did until this morning.

Some squirrel ran me off the road.

Mr. McCoy, my secretary tells me

you turned down my offer.

- Your offer?

- $2,500.

That's a lot of money

just to sing one song.

- So you're the kook.

- I'm the kook.

My daughter's birthday is on the 15th.

I want you to give

a private performance just for her.

I thought it was a gag.

You mean you'd pay all that money

for one song for one little girl?

After all, it's her birthday.

- Why don't you get her a teddy bear?

- She wants you.

- That's very nice, but...

- I'll make it $3,000.

We'll take it!

- Divided by four, that makes...

- Four goes into $3,000...

$750 each.

Is that dollars?

I'll expect you at my home on the 15th.

We'll give you the best performance

of our lives.

Boy, is your kid lucky

to have a daddy like you.

Congratulations, sir.

You bought yourself a great group.

- I'm sure I have.

- He hasn't bought one thing.

I'm sorry, mister. We can't make it.

- Why can't you make it?

- Yeah, why can't we make it?

Because Mike says so, that's why.

We have to be in Los Angeles on the 15th.

- I can take care of that.

- Don't take care of anything.

They're expecting me on the 15th,

unless I break a leg, I'll be there.

You're a man of your word, I like that,

but I am a man of my word, too.

I promised Cynthia you'd sing for her,

and you will.

Who knows? You may even enjoy it.

There's nothing I enjoy more than

singing for a girl.

But it's gotta be one that I pick...

not somebody who's paying me.

- Sorry, Mr. Foxhugh, we can't make it.

- I'll make it $5,000.

Four goes into $5,000...

You divide the quotient

from the logarithm...

and then you subtract the factor.

Look, here's my schedule

for the next six weeks.

If your girl wants to hear me sing, she

can hear me at any one of these places.

Of course, there will be

a few people around.

- Tell you what. You got a pen?

- Yeah.

It won't cost her nothing.

It'll be a free pass.

Let's load up.

- You're in the way.

- Sorry about that, Curly.

You better move.

McCoy!

You'll be there.

You know what happens if we do

that song for Foxhugh's daughter?

Somebody will hear about it. Publicity.

First thing you know

we'll be on The Ed Sullivan Show.

Our records will be in the top 40.

And then we'll become stars.

- Stars!

- Stars!

Stars have responsibilities.

They have to keep appointments,

sign papers, live in a house, stay put.

Yeah.

- And then you know what else happens?

- We make millions.

Yeah, money. Let's be stars.

- No. We get married.

- Married?

- Married?

- You got to get married.

- You want that?

- You must be kidding.

You want that?

Not me.

I'd rather stay single,

do the things I like to do, race, singing.

Of course, you guys

may have different opinions.

No. I don't feel any different.

- Yeah, who feels different?

- Yeah, who?

Then that settles it.

- We don't want his $5,000.

- We don't.

We don't.

I don't know about you guys,

but I'm hungry.

Midnight supper.

We'll have bisque Daumont,

fillet of beef with sauce bordelaise...

salade grecque, and chocolate mousse.

- Chocolate moose?

- Pudding, dingbat.

Moose pudding?

Without the antlers.

Some kind of prehistoric animal!

No, it's a hound dog. Here you go, fella.

How about that?

There were eight eggs in that recipe.

Maybe he doesn't like moose pudding.

I think it was a great pudding.

The whole meal was.

- Thanks, Mike.

- It was terrific.

No kidding. I never knew a guy

who could cook the way you do.

I'm not a guy. I'm a girl.

Girl. I've gotta remember that.

Why don't you remember that,

for Pete's sake?

Wait a minute,

you're no mental genius yourself.

- Yeah, you forget, too.

- Well, nobody's perfect.

- He's right, fella.

- Not fella!

- Son of a gun!

- I'll get some wood for the fire.

Okay. We'll clean up.

Dishes, you guys. And take your time.

I'm gonna wait by the fire for Mike.

She's gonna wait by the fire for Mike.

- You wash and I'll dry.

- Okay.

- Or else you could wash and dry.

- Thanks.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- You been looking for me?

- Matter of fact, I was.

- You from the FBI?

- No.

- The CIA?

- No.

The PTA?

Parent Teachers Association?

No. The Peeping Toms Association.

You've been following me,

I don't understand.

I don't mind,

but I don't know who you are.

My name is Diana St. Clair.

Well, you're the most gorgeous spy

I've ever seen.

Excuse me.

I seem to be bumping your binoculars.

Now, where were we?

Doesn't my name mean anything to you?

Diana? Sure.

You're the goddess of the hunt, right?

In a way. But haven't you read

any of my books?

- Your what?

- My books.

I wrote 10 Ways To Trap A Bachelor.

That was a bestseller for two years.

I think I missed it.

How about

The Mating Habits of the Single Male?

You wrote that?

- Did you read it?

- No, but I saw the movie.

- Why are you spying on me?

- For my new book.

The Sex Life of Mike McCoy?

Bet that would make an interesting movie.

Now, wait a minute, if you get any ideas...

I'm writing a book called

The Perfect American Male.

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