Spinout Page #2

I've already done chapters

on the doctor, the lawyer...

the athlete, the businessman...

the white-collar worker,

the factory worker...

Now you're scraping

the bottom of the barrel.

- Right.

- Okay.

Why spy?

Let's make ourselves comfortable.

I'll tell you all about it.

- Boy, nothing like a fire.

- It's kind of romantic.

- A shame to waste it.

- What do you mean, waste it?

You know, if we had some girls here...

You know what I mean?

What am I, a hound dog?

I didn't mean that.

You know, Les, I was just...

How about that Mike?

Here we are in the middle of nowhere,

and he comes up with a girl.

Where you going?

- Where you going, buddy?

- I'm turning in.

Buddy, pal, guy, Louie, Norman.

I'm gonna join a girls' band.

This is Diana St. Clair,

the famous authoress.

- Hi.

- Hi there.

You remember her?

Didn't you write

Why, yes.

The Mating Habits of the Single Male?

- Yes, I did.

- That was a great book.

I saw the movie, and it was dirty.

It was an intellectual experience.

I was deeply moved.

I can't recall when a literary episode...

- Fellas!

...captured the crux of the situation...

I read that book.

We have to restring our guitars.

- Why?

- We have to restring our guitars.

Oh, yeah. We have to restring our guitars.

Nice.

What? The fire?

The way you got rid of your friends.

Cool.

- We've had lots of practice.

- I can believe it.

The fire's nice, too.

You really live like gypsies, don't you?

It's the way we like to live.

Are you serious about this book of yours?

Very much so.

Well, why me?

I'm looking for the perfect American male.

One thing that makes him perfect

is that he's different.

He's not like everyone else.

You're different.

So is she.

When you find this Mr. Perfect,

does he get some kind of award?

Oh, yes. He gets me.

That's nice. That's real nice.

Knock it off! Somebody's trying to sleep!

He's a real guy. Turned me down flat.

- Who turned you down?

- Your Mike McCoy.

- I offered him $5,000.

- I knew you'd like him.

He drives a Duesenberg, he races a Cobra,

and he told me to go to hell.

- He's quite a boy.

- Yes, I know.

I mean, he knows how to handle a car.

I've seen him do it.

And that big road race coming up...

The Fox Five!

You want Mike to drive it for you.

He's pretty well-known, isn't he?

Just one of the best singers

in the country.

No wonder they call you Foxy Foxhugh.

Now, that's not a bit kind.

After all, I'm doing him a big favor.

Think of the publicity he'll get.

A big boost for his career.

I can see it now:

"Famous singer wins big race."

You mean, "Famous singer wins big race...

"in new Fox Five car."

Never entered my mind.

- Philip!

- Yes, sir!

Make a note to call

my public relations director.

Foxy, aren't you glad I wanted him

for my birthday present?

First, he'll sing for you,

and then he'll drive for me.

But Mr. Foxhugh,

you said he turned you down flat.

You know what happens

when you get excited.

Don't worry, he'll be here

on your birthday...

and he'll be in that race, too.

But that's wrong. You can't force a man!

- And besides he told you to go to hell.

- Philip!

You're fired.

Daddy, what did you do that for?

You know Philip faints

when he gets upset.

Philip is 26 years old.

It's time he stopped fainting.

Well, he's sensitive.

I'd better get going. It's a busy day.

The proxy fight, the big merger,

and your birthday present.

- You will get him?

- They don't call me Foxy for nothing.

Mr. Foxhugh,

I think it's more than enough...

He's gone, Philip.

Hiya, Harry. I'll be right with you.

Listen, Les, on your solo,

really open up, okay?

Got you.

Let's try that next-to-last number.

Just a minute, Harry.

Mike, before you waste

any more time rehearsing...

What's the matter? Aren't we sold out?

Sold out? Canceled out!

- Canceled? I won't quit.

- What are you talking about?

All the years I've been in the business,

such a catastrophe I didn't see, ever!

Well, who'd cancel us out?

"Dear Mr. McCoy...

"this is to confirm your appearance

in Santa Barbara...

"on the evening of the 15th.

"On completion of your concert

for my daughter...

"I shall instantly have

your schedule reinstated.

"Enclosed find check for $5,000.

"Sincerely, Howard Foxhugh."

Our whole tour has been canceled!

That miserable...

- Can he do that?

- He did it.

I'm sorry, Harry.

He likes to hear you sing, this grown man?

It's not him, it's his kid.

He must have broken into

his kid's piggy bank.

Sorry, Mike.

She must be some kid. $5,000.

I'd like to see what she looks like.

Any brat who could get her old man

to pull a stunt like this...

Can I feel the check?

She's probably ugly. A rich, ugly girl.

- She'd better be, or I'll...

- Can I feel the check?

We're not gonna let him

get away with this.

I should give him

a good, swift kick in his...

Watch it!

I have to show him who he's fooling with.

Of course, if I did that, he'd probably

mess up our tour and...

we'd have to go back up there anyway.

So it looks like our best bet...

is sing the one song and get it over with.

Yeah, might as well.

- Okay. Santa Barbara. Let's go.

- I'm ready.

I kind of like Santa Barbara.

- Haven't seen you spying around lately.

- Miss me?

Well, here it is again.

"Okay, fellas, restring your guitars."

And I'll hit her with my snare drum.

- How's the book going?

- Finished.

I sent it in yesterday.

Which reminds me, shall we set a date?

A date for what?

My publisher has to

send out announcements.

Your publisher?

He's always wanted a big church wedding.

Besides, he thinks

it will help sell my new book.

- Now, what are you talking about?

- Mike!

- You've forgotten.

- Forgotten what?

Didn't I tell you? You're my perfect man.

You don't know me very well.

Remember what I said I'd do

when I found my perfect man?

Yeah.

- You said he gets you.

- That's right.

And as soon as I domesticate you,

get you housebroken...

you'll be the best husband a girl ever had.

Husband?

Over my dead body.

I'll see you around.

Let's go.

I'm going to marry you.

Almost ready?

I don't know how long

I can keep Cynthia out of here.

She opened the rest of her presents yet?

I'm sorry I had to use such

high-pressure methods to get you here...

but believe me, you won't regret it.

- You're gonna change my whole life, huh?

- Maybe.

I saw you win at Sebring last year...

with a car that shouldn't even

have been entered.

Sebring? What you got on your mind?

I'm bringing out a new racing car:

The Fox Five.

How'd you like to drive it?

Look, mister, I'm here to do a song,

and that's all.

As soon as I'm finished, I'm out of here.

If I'm lucky, it's the last I'll ever see of you.

- Where's the birthday girl?

- Here she is.

- Surprised?

- Yeah.

Mike, sing something sweet.

Let's wrap it up and get out of here.

- You were wrong. She is rich.

- But she's not ugly.

I know.

Mike, it was marvelous.

It was just marvelous.

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