St. Helens Page #4

---

Now then

you just gonna tell all them folks to

pack up and move on.

I'll handel that Harry.

Oh hell Wayne, let me do it.

Nothing I like better than to

tell somebody to get there

ass or truck of the way.

- I said, I'll take care of it Harry.

- I really appreciate this Harry.

You do huh?

You wanna give me cash or write me a check?

William O. Douglas Supreme Court Justice.

By God you're right that

is William O. Douglas.

You recognize the weird

looking geezer with him?

- Did you know Douglas?

- Oh sure.

Good friend of mine. We even went

on a five day pack trip together.

I'll never forget it. I got so damn drunk

I fell in the fire and burned my ass.

Wasn't that funny Wayne.

My ass was on fire.

Never forget the sight of

Douglas running through

the trees trying to

pour water on my ass.

Then about six weeks later

when he got back to Washington.

He sent me a picture, you how, all

dressed up in his supreme court outfit.

And off the bottom of the picture he wrote,

" Take it easy Harry,

you wont always have William O.

Douglas to watch out for your ass."

All right tell me Professor

wizard are we gonna

all get blowed to to hell or what?

I don't know for sure.

You're gonna have to come down

off the mountain too, Harry.

Bullishit. Who told you that?

No freaking way.

.

I don't know what's going on here.

I don't know what's going on

we got the Cougarette Marching Band.

Here comes the National Guard.

We got kids playing with balloons.

It looks like Disney Land.

I can't handel this by myself.

Be patient everybody's gonna get served.

Mary Jane I'm sorry but this order wrong.

He wants them over easy.

Give it to somebody else.

I really can't do that. Can you

please just do one over easy.

No Dammit! I'm busy.

Oh, what the hell is going on?

Why don't you watch what you're doing?

We got customers waiting.

Pick this up will you.

You pick this up yourself

because I've had it.

Just take it easy.

No no no. You take it easy.

You try waiting on 25 tables at a time.

And being felt up by every

guy with three beers in him.

25 tips, $1.50 an hour

20 minutes in the line.

And still it won't be

that bad because you

won't have to work for

shithead Whitaker.

So you can take your $4.00

volcano burgers and shove um,

because I quit.

Oh yeah? You're fired!

Whoa.

Aw, you should let her hit him.

Hooray

I'm sorry, I don't usually

lose my temper like that,

but everything's been so crazy.

I've never seen so many people in my life,

and everybody wants something

and they want it right now.

I know. I thought you were

going to flatten him.

I did come unglued in their didn't I.

It really frys me to

lose control like that.

I hate it! I can't stand it!

Are you all right?

Will you come home with me?

I want you to hold me.

Sargent Ferguson.

Check all the back roads

and check for stragglers

and make sure those kids stay together.

This is Sheriff Temple

down here at the Turret.

Make sure highway 607 is all clear.

We should be out of here in 20

- 30 minutes.

Get that vehicle out of here!

Get that jeep going.

Is the volcano gonna blow up?

Hold it.

Who the hell are you?

I'm gonna use your bathroom.

That's an official sign. I don't

want anybody on my porch.

That includes those steps.

Wanna go to the john,

you gotta get in line.

That's ridiculous.

It ain't as ridiculous

as what I'm looking at.

You should have better

facilities for your visitors.

These are totally inadequate.

If you feel that way about it

you can head out to the trees

and point your ass as you please.

It'll bring out the bear in you.

I hope he got's hemorrhoids.

Matt, how long are we going

to have to stay away?

I don't know.

But we have to be back in a

week or the animals will die.

Oh boy, now what.

- Here you are sir.

- What is this?

Wait a minute, what is this?

Its instructions for evacuation sir.

"In case of volcanic eruption, move

away from the explosion not towards it."

What a brilliant piece of advice.

Presumably some young

sociologists has been given a

tremendous amount of money

to come up with this idea.

Or did you write it?

- No sir I didn't write it.

- Victor?

Can this man do something

to help us or not?

! WILL YOU HOLD YOUR TONGUE OR I'LL CU IT OUT AND SEND IT TO YOUR MOTHER !

Excuse me.

- Take it easy.

- Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Darlene.

This is a red zone by

order of the governor.

You are requested to leave immediately.

Take interstate 5 South.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Where the hell you going.

Hold it, hold it!

Were you going you crazy old bum?

I'm going home and holy

sh*t ain't gonna stop me.

You're not going anywhere except

back to where you came from.

Look, I don't know who gave you

a license to drive this thing

but if you're not careful mister, I'm

gonna have you hauled out of here.

Who the hell are you?

Lloyd Wagner,

Chief of Operations of the U.S.G.S.

- Were you from fella'?

- Minneapolis.

Well let me tell you something

Mr. Lloyd Wagner.

In Skamania County we got three chiefs.

And I'm two of them.

Now get the hell out of

my way, I wanna go home.

It's for your own good. I mean,

we can't be responsible.

Don't sh*t me buddy, I got

a turd in every pocket.

How's it feel to be interviewed

almost every day Harry?

Well I'll tell you something

I do like talking to you people better,

when you're not sticking things in my face.

Oh come on Harry, who do

you think you're fooling,

You know you love the attention.

The whole world's watching you.

Don't mean sh*t to me.

No seriously, I'll tell you something

you can sit out here sometimes,

in the middle of the afternoon

it's so peaceful and quiet

you can hear chainsaws 50 miles away.

Clear as a bell.

Then sometimes the wind starts

blowing the tops of trees.

It comes in gusts

you can hear it coming...

Then all of a sudden, right over you.

And then it's gone.

Don't you ever get lonely Harry?

Yeah I did, for a bit I think

after Edie died.

But it's better to be lonely

up here I'll tell you that.

I've been in cities.

I've seen that rat race.

You stay up here awhile,

then you lay eyes on a city

you wonder how we survived this long.

Yes sir, this country was founded

by people to stubborn to do

exactly what some crazy king told them.

- No offense intended.

- None taken Harry.

Yeah, we're the only country in the world

that's got a constitution that...

say, we have every right to do

what we want to do.

Used to be people were proud

to say they were Americans.

That's right.

I'm sorry Mr. Whitaker,

but your plant is situated

in a very dangerous area.

Listen, I've got a

responsibility to my workers.

That's over 100 men.

How in the hell are they going

to support their families

when they have to stop working.

Well how are they going

to support their families

if the volcano erupts

and they're killed.

That is panicked talk.

Nobody's gonna be killed.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes