St. Ives

---

Hey. Come on, get away from that car.

Come on, come on! Beat it.

Creeps.

- Hey, Eddie!

- What do you want, Mr. Green?

What do I want? I'll tell you what I want.

I want you to get a broom...

...and bash anybody

who gets near my chariot, all right?

- Those punks again?

- Give me the passkey.

I gotta rouse Sleeping Beauty upstairs.

Remember, they get near it, bash them.

Those no-good little bastards.

Ray! Ray! Come on. Come on,

get your ass out of that sack.

Come on, come on, up and at them.

Hey, the day's half over.

Let's go, let's go.

Raymond, time is money. Hey, hey.

Why don't you answer the box?

I left a half a dozen messages yesterday.

You think I got nothing better to do

than ring you all day?

Raymond, we've got business to talk over.

- We got a summons from your wife.

- Ex.

- Ex-wife.

- One thousand dollars a month.

One, zero, zero, zero.

On top of that bad news,

there's more bad news.

The first chapters of your novel have been

returned by another publisher.

- That's only the fourth one.

- It's the sixth, but who's counting.

The point is, there's no advance.

If you finish, we'll be able to sell it.

But that's not gonna happen today, right?

Hey, come on, you mothers,

get away from that car.

- Up yours!

- Son of a b*tch.

All right, now for the good news.

- You got an offer of employment.

- Not interested.

- You better be, buster.

- Abner Procane, male, white, 65 years old.

Extremely wealthy, eccentric,

lives on an estate in Holmby Hills.

He's had something stolen.

The thieves offered

to return it for a potful of money.

You function strictly as a go-between.

- For which I'll get paid?

- Ten thousand, cold cash.

And if we can finagle it a little bit,

possibly even tax-free.

- Do I have to murder anybody?

- As your lawyer, I would advise against it.

Look.

Please, your appointment's at 2:00.

Be prompt for a change, huh?

I don't know why I feel

this affection for you.

I mean, you sleep late, you don't pay me.

I don't understand it.

St. Ives here.

What are the odds

on the Rams-Dallas game?

Okay, 500.

Yeah, Rams.

- and the Cowboys call time.

A play came in from the sidelines.

Staubach didn't like it, so he'll go

talk it over with Tom Landry.

With the timeout, 8: 14 remaining

before intermission...

... with the score: Dallas 7, Rams nothing.

Ray St. Ives for Abner Procane.

Timeout, 8:
10 left in the second quarter.

Dallas 14, the Rams nothing.

Mr. St. Ives.

Please make yourself comfortable.

Mr. Procane will be with you directly.

Oh, Mr. St. Ives? Do come in, come in.

That film, The Big Parade,

is one of my favorite favorites.

Better days then, Mr. St. Ives.

- You are Mr. St. Ives?

- Yes.

- Mr. Procane?

- Abner Procane. Can I get you a drink?

- Yes, please.

- What will you have?

A whiskey and soda, please.

Has Mr. Green informed you

of my problem?

I wanted to hear about it from you.

Five brown leather-bound ledgers,

...were removed from a safe

in an upstairs office. A very tidy job.

- When did they contact you?

- Friday.

- But he didn't speak with me.

- Who talked to him?

I did.

The thief, or the man I spoke to,

will call again this afternoon...

...with specific instructions

as to the exchange.

He insisted you be here when he called

and that you act as a go-between.

- I think that's the expression he used.

- This is Janet Whistler.

- What else did he say?

- He demanded $ 100,000.

Old money, mixed serial numbers.

How do you know I'm not

in business with the thief?

Apart from the fact that you

gamble excessively...

...your reputation is flawless.

Yes?

He's here.

St. Ives.

This is St. Ives.

Yes. Yes.

Yes, I got it.

Sounds okay. At a Laundromat, 2 a.m.,

come alone. It's the usual.

- Where's the money?

- It's here.

Do you want me to come with you?

That's not necessary.

I'm being well-paid for the risk.

You'll be sure to call us

immediately afterwards?

Better than that.

I'll be right here at your door.

Is that your Jaguar?

- Yeah, what about it?

- The lights are on.

Sweet Jesus Christ!

Hold it right there!

Now, don't move.

All right, spread yourself

against the wall!

- I'm Detective Deal. He's Oller.

- Officer Frann, sir.

- What's going on here, officer?

- There's a stiff in the drier.

This guy was standing beside it

when I walked in.

Well, you better call the meat wagon.

You, up against the wall.

- Jesus.

- You know him, Ollie?

No. I think his neck's broke.

Here. See what's in the bag.

- What's your name?

- Ray St. Ives.

- Where do you live?

- Hotel Lido, on Wilcox.

Look at that. A whole pisspot

full of money here.

- How much is in there?

- I don't know. I ain't counted it.

- Well, count it.

- There's 100,000.

What do you do?

- Retired.

- Oh, yeah?

- Did you twist that guy's neck?

- No.

Is that your money?

Well, let's just say

I'm keeping it for somebody.

On my way home, I was driving past

this all-night Laundromat.

We don't have one where I live, so I

thought I'd drop in and have a look around.

I just walked in

when the motorcycle cop showed up.

You always carry a hundred grand

on evening drives?

A friend of mine, a little old lady,

asked me to hang on to it.

You know, the banks are closed.

She lives alone.

No record, huh? Okay, thanks.

You're entitled to call your lawyer

if you want.

Why do I need a lawyer?

You're asking questions, I'm answering.

Hello, Robbery? This is Detective Oller

down at Homicide Central.

You guys have any big heists tonight,

like maybe 100,000 bucks?

Okay, thanks.

No record, no robbery.

Jack Boykins, male, white, 43.

Arrested 16 times, mostly for stealing.

Indicted eight times. Convicted twice.

Did nine years in Folsom.

- Hey.

- Hi, Charlie.

- How are you?

- You know this guy, lieutenant?

What do you mean?

Everybody knows St. Ives.

He's a bigtime columnist.

Crime reporter.

Was, I mean. Now he's an author.

He's writing a book.

How's the book coming?

- Not worth a sh*t.

- Maybe you got a weak story.

- Yeah, I guess so.

- Hey.

Found him walking around

with 100,000 bucks in a bag.

- You didn't steal it, did you, Ray?

- No, and I'm not that hard up.

Give him back his 100,000 bucks.

Let him get out of here.

- See you later, Ray.

- Thanks, Charlie.

- Aren't you gonna count it?

- What for?

You wouldn't steal

from a little old lady, would you?

Hey, Eddie, up and at them,

up and at them.

- Time is money...

- St. Ives.

...like Myron's always saying.

l... I must've dozed off.

- What can I do for you?

- Put this in the safe...

...then give me the key.

There's nothing in the safe.

- I guess it's all right to give you the key.

- Put that in.

This is St. Ives.

The exchange, it got fouled up.

I'll talk to you about it later.

No, no, no. I'm gonna lock it up

in a safe place.

Now lock it.

Give me the key.

Now go back to sleep.

I'd like to get even for yesterday.

Tonight, Vikings over the Colts.

No, not 500. Make it 50.

Thank God for Monday Night Football.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes