Stage Beauty Page #4

- The Supplicant's Clasp?

Or the Attitude of Prostrate...

Funny, you've seen me perform them

a thousand times.

- Mr Kynaston!

- Now, there's a feminine gesture.

You seem to have managed

the Stamp of Girlish Petulance.

I just wanted to act.

- I just wanted to do what you do.

- But, madam,

I have worked half my life to do what I do.

14 boys crammed in a cellar.

When I trained, I was not permitted to

wear a woman's dress for three years.

I was not permitted to wear a wig for four,

not until I had proved

that I had eliminated every masculine gesture,

every masculine intonation, from my very being.

What teacher did you have?

What cellar was your home?

I had no teacher, nor such a classroom.

But then, I had less need of training.

At any rate, Mr Kynaston,

I thank you for the professional advice.

But I did not come here today to audition.

Oh, come, I saw Sedley downstairs

singing your praises...

What he does is his business.

Sir Charles has taken an interest in me.

Oh, Sir Charles! Sir Charles?

Other actors have aristocratic patrons.

Whom would you rather take me in hand?

I did not come here to audition.

I only came to the theatre today

- to collect my belongings...

- Well...

But now, sir!

Oh, now...

Oh, lest I forget.

Your advance, sir.

You'll be pleased to know it was your generosity

that bought last night's performance.

Put paid.

With interest.

You want to pay me

to watch an audition?

This could start a trend.

Who is your protg?

Mr Betterton, this is Mrs Margaret Hughes.

Maria?

- Maria?

- It's an off-stage name.

Oh, wait a minute.

So the Hughes that played

at Cockerell's place last night

was... was... our Maria?

All of London is talking about

Mrs Hughes' performance.

And, as you know, the King has,

just this past evening, relaxed the laws

- against women playing women.

- Yes, I heard.

And, as this is your day, Mr Betterton,

- to seek out new Emilias...

- Yes, yes, I see.

Ned, just in time! Such drama.

Our very own Maria is going to take the stage.

Do you have a scene for us, Maria... Er, Mrs...

- I do, actually.

- Well, er...

- What will you be doing for us today?

- A soliloquy.

- From?

- Othello.

And the role?

Desdemona.

Well...

This should be fun.

Sir Charles.

Thank you, Mrs Hughes.

What shall I do to win my lord again?

Good friends, go to him;

for, by this light of heaven,

I know not how...

May I start again?

Oh, please.

Thank you.

What shall I do to win my lord again?

Good friends, go to him;

for, by this light of heaven...

I know not how...

I know not how...

I know not how...

- I know not how...

- I know not how I lost him.

Yes, of course. Thank you.

Not at all. I say it every night.

May I begin again?

Oh, heavens.

I was going to suggest it myself.

- I know not how...

- I know not how I lost him.

What shall I do to win my lord again?

Good friends, go to him;

for, by this light of heaven,

I know not how I lost him.

If e'er my will did trespass

'gainst his love,

Either in discourse of thought

or actual deed;

Or that mine eyes, mine ears,

or any sense,

Delighted them in any other form;

Or that I do not yet,

and ever did,

And ever will,

- though he do shake me off

To beggarly divorcement, -

love him dearly,

Comfort forswear me!

Unkindness may do much;

And his unkindness may defeat my life,

But never taint...

my love

That was it.

Was it? Oh, yes!

Yes, yes, of course it was.

I was caught up with the...

by the gestures and such.

Well, well, I, I... I've er...

I've never seen the role performed

quite... quite like that before.

Do you think

there might be something for me?

Er, I don't know. It... depends.

On?

On thousands of actors ahead of you

dying of the plague.

- Intolerable!

- Ned's being funny.

It depends on the audiences of London

losing their eyes, their ears...

And truth be told, their sense of smell.

I confess, Mrs Hughes, when I heard

about your performance, I was worried.

Women on stage.

What would become of me?

And then, you auditioned for us.

You have taken a great load off my mind.

Mr Betterton, thank you for your time.

Maria, my dear...

No, sir, I'm late for Mr Cockerell's.

Dear, dear. Well, good luck with the show.

I'd love to pop in and see it...

Yes, I'd arrange tickets, but we're sold out.

Sold out?

Maria, Maria.

Er, Mrs Hughes.

Come, come, come.

Ned, Ned.

What say we give Mrs Hughes

one of the roles to play?

No, no, not you know whno,

that's you, of course

But we are looking for an Emilia.

She might just...

splash things up a bit.

What do you say?

I- I-I refuse.

What do you mean, you refuse?

I shall not act with her.

- On what right?

- My right, Mr Betterton.

You gave me approval over casting

and I hereby exercise said right.

But she's sold out Cockerell's.

Indeed! The place was packed

and the crowd clapped and clapped.

I recall a puppet show once

where a recently-departed dog was stuffed

and danced with Punch and Judy

and that crowd clapped, too.

Oh, Ned...

If you argue the case

for Mrs Hughes further, indeed...

If you attempt to audition her

or any other woman ever again,

I will consider it a breach of contract

and leave the stage forthwith!

B*tch!

I had myself intended to audition today.

But if this is how you treat women,

well, mark me, sir,

women shall lay blame.

Who the hell was that?

That...

...is the King's mistress.

This shall be remembered, Betterton.

Oh, my God. Er, Sir Charles.

Sir Charles...

Mr Kynaston.

I am a man of my contract and my word.

You exercise your right today.

I, mine, tomorrow!

This vile thespian is in need of a come-down

and on his own turf!

- Nell, is that you?

- Yes.

What is it, sweet?

- Charlie?

- Mm?

You love me, don't you?

Well, I've always said.

And you'd never deny me?

Now, what do you want?

No, I can't.

- Please!

- It's out of the question.

I'll never ask another favour.

No!

- Charlie...

- Nell, I've work to do.

- Please...

- Charlie boy.

Where's his toy?

No, this is very important business.

We are at war with the... Dutch.

Oh, Your Majesty!

Let me see the crown!

Hyde, erm...

I want to dictate something.

Are you all right, sir?

Now, St James's Park, the gazebo.

- Your Majesty.

- Your Majesty.

- Your Majesty.

- Your Majesty.

We're going to really hurt him because...

But we can't do too much. We can't do...

Kynaston! Kynaston!

Bravo, Mr Kynaston! Bravo!

Kynaston! Kynaston!

Not like that.

Mr Ned, sir? We need to see you

Mr Kynaston.

Mr Kynaston, we wish to apologise

for our rudeness the other day.

We wish to make things up with you.

May we take you for a drive?

May we?

Why have we stopped?

Come with us, Mr Kynaston.

What are you up to?

It's more a question

of what you're up to.

Have you ever had occasion

to perform out-of-doors?

Er, not that I can recall.

Then I beg you, sir,

flatter us,

who do not deserve your good graces.

Hmm.

You mocked us, sir!

You, an actor, mocked your betters.

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