Stage Fright

---

No!

Ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh

Ohhh ohhh ohhh

Must this be my sacrifice?

My dream's come true,

but at what price?

Stand by, electrics 120.

Go.

Stand by, mist.

Look at your mother.

She's got great pipes

and she's fierce.

So fierce, I'm enchanted.

Electrics 130, go.

One-forty, go.

Take all I ever had,

all I ever knew

All I ever dreamed of

came true

Now I'm forever haunted

: Bravo!

- Mommy, you were so good!

- Give me kisses.

- You're all sweaty.

- Then you get sweaty kisses.

- Ew!

- Be nice to your mother;

she's a big star now.

Your autograph, please,

Ms. Swanson?

Anything for my biggest fan.

All of life's a song to sing

So sing with all your heart

Guess who finally made it

tonight?

TheTimes?

Lawrence Gibbs is absolutely

in love with you.

That's great! That's great.

Congratulations, Mr. Producer.

You should get ready now,

my love.

- OK.

- Tonight, we celebrate.

- Should I take the twins?

- Sure.

OK, you go with Mr. McCall.

See you later.

Watch where you're goin',

little girl.

Hello?

Ah!

Very funny.

Where'd you get that?

You know you can't be

in here, right?

Better put that mask back,

or they'll have your head.

Oh, honey, we can't do this now.

I have to get dressed.

All of life's a song to sing

So sing with all your heart

Mmm. Oh.

Oh. Not now.

Ah.

Oh!

All of life's a song to sing

We're here, we're here,

we're finally here

The place where we can be ourselves

at least for once a year

The place where we can dance and

feel allowed to sing a song

Performing is our fantasy,

we're here where we belong!

- Hey, it's you

- Long time no see

What was your year like?

I got beaten up

a dozen times

For singing

Stephen Sondheim's rhymes

Those school bullies sound

awfully bad

What school bullies?

That was my dad Aw!

But thankfully

that's in the past

It's time to go sign up

for classes

Finally we're back

where we belong!

We've got costuming

and light design

And classes that help you

refine techniques

So you'll be sure to find

your true artistic voice

Whatever your abilities,

we've got the best facilities

Maintained by local hillbillies

who didn't have a choice

So many options,

so much to choose from

What to sign up for?

So much to improve on

Tho many thingth I'm working

on I've even made a litht

Diaphragm projecthion breathing

audienth connecthion theeking

If I wanna be a thtar

I gotta take more rithkth

Explore my inner narthithith,

emothional catharthith

To expreth mythelf

more clearly

I'm working on my lithp

Hm. Yeah, sure. OK.

We're here, we're here

We're here at Center Stage

The place where we can be ourselves

and no one calls us names

- They call me weirdo

- They call me freakshow

They call me sissy, puthy,

mushy mushy, homo

They call me very flitty, fairy,

fruity, flaming, bitchy, Liberace

- Floozy

- And a slew of other low-blows

All of us have heard these names of

hate, but let me get one thing straight

I'm gay, I'm gay,

but not in that way

Musicals move me and touch me

in ways I can't say

He's gay but not in that way

I sleep with women

But musicals make me

feel gay

I'm gay, I'm actually gay

I don't get hard

when I see T and A

Could be my DNA

Or how I was raised

We don't distinguish here

at Center Stage

We're all gay, we're gay

in all kinds of ways

Some in the bedroom

And some 'cause of

musical plays

- Ow, Sam, you're hurting me!

- Don't touch my hair!

We're here, we're here

- Yes!

- We're finally here

The place where we can be ourselves

at least for once a year

The place where we can dance and

feel allowed to sing a song

Where everyone is just like

me, that's where I belong!

All of life's a song to sing

So sing with all your heart

Little Mermaid, less singing,

more cooking.

It's time to feed the freaks.

Can't wait to get the hell out

of here for good.

- And do what?

- Make lots of money.

Start our own restaurant.

It's time to start thinking

about this stuff.

"I don't wanna think about it. "

Stop it.

"I want to live here

my whole life. "

- Stop it. Get away.

- Stop it!

What's going on here?

I got it.

I got it!

Did you make this mess?

What's the show this year?

Aha. It's gonna be a knockout.

Broadway agents,

Broadway scouts.

We're gonna be back in New York

before you know it.

What is it?

Your mother - God bless her -

would be proud.

You're good.

Break a leg.

Many years ago,

10, to be exact

I dreamed of a camp where kids could

come to learn to sing and act

No one thought it was possible,

they laughed behind my back

But it wouldn't be long

we'd prove them wrong

We're 10 years strong

in fact

Once I made the decision

to follow my ambition

And make a training ground

for dance and song

There were hardships

and obstructions

Those are part

of all productions

Still the show must

carry on!

Woo!

Woo!

Campers and counsellors,

I believe that you will

agree with me

that after last summer's

bold musical re-imagining

of The Vagina Monologues,

this young man has

established himself

as the next Hal Prince.

Here he is now,

the director of this summer's

Limelight showcase,

Artie Getz!

Artie will be announcing

this summer's

Limelight production.

Haunting Of The Opera!

I think he thinks

it could help his career.

What career? He hasn't

produced anything in 10 years.

Well, if doing the play again

can help him

get back to New York,

that's a good thing.

- For all of us.

- You always seem to forget:

he's not our father.

Maybe I could even audition.

You actually wanna compete

with those theatre geeks?

Those kids aren't normal, Cam.

Look at them.

The entire musical theatre

canon is just begging -

begging! - for its themes

to be exploded outwards.

Watch, I bet he casts himself

as Alfonso.

Uh, for those of you wondering,

yes, I will be playing Alfonso.

Yep. - It's probably 'cause he

wants you to play Opera Ghost.

Or 'cause he wants to make out with me

again. - ... which is the very essence

of post-structuralism

in theatre today, and that's why

our production of Haunting...

will take place...

in feudal Japan.

- I'm not hearing anything.

- Itth brilliant.

Woo!

They're not gonna

let a cook steal a role from

a camper who pays to go here.

We're here, we're here,

we're finally here

The place where we can be ourselves

at least for once a year

We're here, we're here

I'm here

And I know you are here

Every time I sing

I feel you near

Now I have my song to sing

I'll sing with all my heart

I will sing just like you

I will get the part

Once I made the decision

to follow my ambition

And make a training ground

for dance and song

There were hardships

and obstructions

Those are part

of all productions

Still the show must

carry on!

I will get the part

Shut your f***ing face!

Alfonso

So tender, so strong,

so Alfonso

Do you not hear what I say

Sofia will star in the play

What's that say?

Sofia.

Bunk 23?

- Bunk 23?

- Ah!

Bunk 23.

Nice try.

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