Stalag 17 Page #11

STOSH:

Ain't that too bad! Tomorrow he'll

have to suck a raw egg!

HARRY:

He don't have to worry. He'll trade

the Krauts for a six-burner gas range.

Maybe a deep freeze too.

SEFTON:

What's your beef, boys? So I'm

trading. Everybody here is trading.

Only maybe I trade a little sharper.

So that makes me a collaborator.

DUKE:

A lot sharper, Sefton! I'd like to

have some of that loot you got in

those footlockers!

SEFTON:

You would, would you? Listen, Stupe --

the first week I was in this joint

somebody stole my Red Cross package,

my blanket and my left shoe. Well, I

wised up since. This ain't no

Salvation Army -- this is everybody

for himself. Dog eat dog.

DUKE:

You stink, Sefton!

He goes after him.

HOFFY:

Come off it! Both of you!

A couple of P.O.W.s hold Duke back.

SEFTON:

Now you've done it. You've given me

nervous indigestion.

(he gets up)

Anything else bothering you, boys?

PRICE:

Just one little thing. How come you

were so sure Manfredi and Johnson

wouldn't get out of the forest?

SEFTON:

I wasn't so sure. I just liked the

odds.

He picks up the skillet with the half-eaten egg.

SEFTON:

And what's that crack supposed to

mean?

PRICE:

They're lying dead in the mud out

there and I'm trying to find out how

come.

SEFTON:

I'll tell you how come.

(pointing at Hoffy)

The Barrack Chief gave them the green

light. And you, our Security Officer,

said it'd be safe. That's how come.

He crosses to Joey who has been sitting on the edge of the

bunk looking on blankly and puts the skillet with the egg on

his lap. Turns back to the others.

SEFTON:

What're you guys trying to prove

anyway? Cutting trap doors! Digging

tunnels! You know what the chances

are to get out of here? And let's

say you do get all the way to

Switzerland! Or say to the States?

So what? They ship you to the Pacific

and slap you in another plane. And

you get shot down again and you wind

up in a Japanese prison camp. That's

if you're lucky! Well, I'm no escape

artist! You can be the heroes, the

boys with the fruit salad on your

chest. Me -- I'm staying put. And

I'm going to make myself as

comfortable as I can. And if it takes

a little trading with the enemy to

get me some food or a better mattress

or a woman -- that's okay by Sefton!

He strikes a match on the sleeve of Duke's leather jacket

and lights himself a cigar.

DUKE:

Why you crud! This war's going to be

over some day -- then what do you

think we'll do to Kraut-kissers like

you?

He lunges forward and there is a fracas, the others trying

to hold them back.

From off comes:

MARKO'S VOICE

At ease! At ease!

MARKO, the Inter-barrack Communications officer, has entered

from the compound, followed by a one-legged P.O.W., THE

CRUTCH. Marko gets up on a stool a piece of paper in his

hand.

MARKO:

(yelling)

AT EASE!

HOFFY:

Break it off, boys! At ease for the

news!

The ruckus subsides.

MARKO:

Today's Camp News!

(reading)

Father Murray announces that due to

local regulations the Christmas

midnight Mass will be held at seven

in the morning!

STOSH:

You can tell Father Murray to --

MARKO:

At ease! He also says, quote: All

you sack rats better show up for the

services and no bull from anybody.

Unquote. At ease! Monday afternoon a

sailboat race will be held at the

cesspool. See Oscar Rudolph of Barrack

7 if you want to enter a yacht. Next:

Jack Cushingham and Larry Blake will

play Frank deNotta and Mike Cohen

for the pinochle championship of the

camp.

HARRY:

That's a fix.

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