Stalag 17 Page #22

DISSOLVE:

INT. BARRACK 4 - (DAY)

START on the electric light -- the cord is again tied up

into a noose.

CAMERA PANS to Harry. He is made up a la Hitler; his hair is

combed across his forehead and a charcoal mustache on his

lip. He is now making up Joey as Hitler, with two fingers

blackened in charcoal. Joey just sits in his bunk, dumbly.

At the table, Hoffy is playing gin with Dunbar. Price

kibitzing.

HOFFY:

(to Harry)

Cut the horseplay, Harry. What's the

matter with you guys?

PRICE:

And don't blame me if you all wind

up in the cooler.

DUNBAR:

How's two?

He lays down his hand.

Stosh, at the door, holds it slightly ajar and peeks out

into the compound. He too is made up as Hitler.

STOSH:

Get ready! Here he comes!

He SLAMS the door, snaps wash line.

EXT. BARRACK 4 - (DAY)

A German truck draws up, loaded with blankets. Schulz, sitting

next to the driver, gets out and starts into the barrack.

Two German guards stay behind.

INT. BARRACK

Schulz enters, closes the door behind him. From OFF comes

Bagradian's voice: A double-talk German gibberish in the

characteristic guttural sounds of der Fuehrer.

Schulz stops, mystified.

Bagradian stands on a stool giving a lecture to some thirty

P.O.W.s, all of them with their backs towards Schulz.

Bagradian's face cannot be seen as he holds the Mein Kampf

book in front of it. Schulz listens for a little while to

Bagradian's ranting and raving. Then he stamps his foot.

SCHULTZ:

Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Attention!

Bagradian lowers the book. He too is made up as Hitler. He

raises his arm in the Nazi salute.

BAGRADIAN:

Heil, Hitler!

SCHULTZ:

(responding

automatically)

Heil, Hitler!

He catches himself, lowers the arm.

SCHULTZ:

(jovially)

Droppen Sie dead.

BAGRADIAN:

(a la Hitler)

Quiet! We are indoctrinating!

(to the others)

Is you all indoctrinated?

P.O.W.S

(in unison)

Jawohl.

BAGRADIAN:

Is you all good Nazis?

P.O.W.S

Jawohl.

BAGRADIAN:

Is you all little Adolfs?

P.O.W.S

Jawohl!

BAGRADIAN:

Then we shall all zalute Feldwebel

von und zu Schulz! About face!

The P.O.W.s wheel around and face Schulz. They are all made

up as Hitler.

P.O.W.S

Sieg heil! Sieg heil! Sieg Heil!

After each 'Sieg heil' they raise their arms in salute.

SCHULTZ:

Ach! One Fuehrer is enough! Now

please, gentlemen! Take off the

mustaches immediately. Or do you

want me arrested by the Gestapo?

P.O.W.S

Jawohl!

SCHULTZ:

You would be very sorry to get a new

Feldwebel. Somebody without a sense

of humor.

HOFFY:

Okay, boys. Wipe off the mustaches.

Now what is it, Schulz?

The men start wiping off the mustaches and straightening

their hair.

SCHULTZ:

Gentlemen, tomorrow morning the Geneva

Man is coming to inspect the camp

whether we are living up to the

International Convention. I am sure

he will find we are treating you

very well. You must not run around

in your underwear. And take off the

wash. The Kommandant wants all the

barracks to be spic and also span.

STOSH:

We'll put pink ribbons on the bedbugs.

SCHULTZ:

The Kommandant also sends you clean

blankets. He wants every man to have

a new, clean blanket.

HOFFY:

We know! We got them last year. Five

minutes after the Geneva Man was

gone, the blankets were gone.

SCHULTZ:

One more thing, gentlemen. The

Kommandant told me to pick up the

radio.

HOFFY:

What radio?

SCHULTZ:

The one you are hiding in the barrack,

don't you know? The one your friend

without the leg is smuggling all

over the compound.

PRICE:

Schulz, you're off your nut!

SCHULTZ:

Give me the radio.

PRICE:

We have no radio.

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