Stand and Deliver Page #3

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pregnant and in the kitchen.

Can you get negative girlfriends?

No, just negative boyfriends.

Please forgive them,

for they know not what they do!

Carlos has x - 5 girlfriends, qu no?

"Que no" is right. Que no.

The answer to my prayers!

May I go to the restroom?

In 10 minutes. Hold it.

Hit it.

It's a trick problem, Mr. Kimo.

You need to know how many girlfriends

they have in common.

It's not that they're stupid.

They just don't know anything.

I'm wrong?

X = Pedro's girlfriends.

5x = Juan's girlfriends.

X - 1 = Carlos's girlfriends.

+ = 20.

So, x = 3.

Good to see you.

This makes no sense unless we see

how it works in the real world.

Could I get a couple of gigolos

for a practical demonstration?

No, no. Just kidding.

What kind of math is this?

The one that's up right now is calculus.

You'll get it in college.

My daughter uses this program

in her high school.

I want to teach calculus next year.

Boy, that's a jump.

That's ridiculous.

They haven't had trig or math analysis.

They can take them this summer.

Our best students in summer school?

From 7:
00 to 12:00.

Every day, including Saturdays.

That would do it.

Summer classrooms are reserved

for remedial courses.

To turn this school around,

start from the top.

Mr. Escalante, don't lecture us.

Our kids can't handle calculus.

We don't even have the books.

If they pass the Advanced Placement Test,

they get college credit.

There are some teachers here...

...who couldn't pass

the Advanced Placement Test.

You think you can make this fly?

I teach calculus or...

...have a good day.

If this man can walk in here...

...and dictate his own terms,

over my objections...

...I see no reason to continue

as department chair.

Don't take this personally.

I'm thinking about those kids.

If they try and don't succeed...

...you'll shatter what little

self-confidence they have.

These aren't the types that bounce back.

Have a good day.

Kimo, it stinks like last year in here.

Somebody give Claudia an orange.

Okay, okay! Sit down!

You think I want to do this?

The Japanese pay me.

They're tired of making everything.

They want you to pull your own weight...

...so they can go take vacations

on Mount Fuji.

Kimo, I thought this room

was supposed to be air-conditioned.

You should think cool.

Think...

Cool.

Think...

Cool.

Cool!

I get this letter saying

I'm fired because of Proposition 13.

I'm down to $936.

I invest $100 in resumes and buy this suit.

I hit every insurance company in the city.

My wife wants us to move

into her parents' rec room.

Two weeks later I get another letter

telling me to go back to work.

How do you like the suit?

- Fabulous.

- How about the color?

Welcome back, peln!

- You okay?

- Yeah, I'm okay.

Sure?

Yes! I said I was fine.

We will go step by step, inch by inch.

Calculus was not made to be easy.

It already is.

Remember the good times we had

last summer?

Remember when things were

really jumping good?

That's Gone With tAhe Wind.

Now it's The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Come on, a contract?

You mean you can't trust us by now?

Those of you who commit will be preparing

for the AdVanced Placement Test.

Have this signed before class tomorrow.

We come in an hour early, take your class

two periods and stay until 5:00?

Believe it or don't.

We have to come on Saturdays?

And no vacations?

Pass the A.P. And you get college credit.

- Big deal.

- We're seniors. We get to slack off.

Can you make it Saturday morning

after playing in your band Friday nights?

I know you love scaring us into doing stuff.

But that gets old real fast.

Hey, Kimo.

You proud of me? I'm the first dude here!

What's calculus?

Calculus is math

that Sir Isaac Newton invented...

...to figure out planet orbits.

But he never told anybody about it...

...until this other scientist

claimed he had invented calculus.

But the guy was so stupid

he got it all wrong...

...so Newton went public

to fix his mistakes. Isn't that neat?

For a genius, Newton was an idiot.

If I invent something,

I'll make sure to get paid.

I hope this isn't an excuse

to stay out all hours.

Trust me, Mom. Sign it.

Boys don't like it if you're smart.

I'm doing this so I don't have to depend

on some dumb guy for the rest of my life.

Thank you.

You don't have it signed,

you don't have a ticket to watch the show.

Thank you, Mr. Kung Fu.

Mr. Blue Eyes, thank you.

Elizabeth, my Taylor!

Sophia, my Loren.

Get a haircut.

How many times I got to tell you?

Red, get a new jacket.

Clint, forget your gun?

Unfold it.

Hey, you didn't...

Get out of the way.

- You didn't sign it.

- I'm putting school on hold.

Go back until you sign it.

My uncle offered me a job

operating a forklift weekends.

So what?

Two years in the union

and I'll make more than you.

The money I'll be making

will buy me a new Trans Am.

Wouldn't you rather be designing

these than repairing them?

You can't even do that.

They got fuel injection.

- You're going to strip my gears.

- What's the problem?

Don't panic, Johnny.

Just watch out for the other guy.

- Right or left?

- Where are we going?

- Right or left!

- Go right!

All you see is the turn.

You don't see the road ahead.

Open the gate. We're going to be late.

Why are you here so early?

We're going to Mr. Escalante's class.

Wake up. Drink some coffee.

One, you got the graph right here.

Two, this is the most important part.

Right here.

The radius of rotation.

That's it. Anybody got any questions?

Anybody can do it

if you remember one basic element:

The element of surprise.

Stay awake! Wake up!

Wake up! Bring toothpicks

to pinch open your eyes.

Do you understand, Johnny?

I was swimming with dolphins,

whispering imaginary numbers...

...looking for the fourth dimension.

Go back to sleep. That's very good.

Any questions?

Yes? No? Nothing? Okay.

You should have it by now.

What's the answer? Anybody?

We're going backwards.

You're fooling around too much

on the weekend.

This girl's got to do some work

from the neck up.

We'll have to stay late again.

We can have pizza delivered.

We can get fried chicken, cheeseburgers.

Donations? You owe me money.

You don't deserve the grades you get.

Are you late for another date?

She has more boyfriends

than Elizabeth Taylor!

I don't appreciate you using

my personal life to entertain this class.

Everything is falling apart.

My boyfriend is freaking out!

School sucks.

I'm in that classroom all day, Kimo.

Look at my clothes and my hair.

I can't even comb it. I hate my life.

So what's the problem?

You're going to have to bring him in.

I'm not a doctor, Ma'am.

There's no way. I don't do diagnosis.

Are we going to see the doctor

before next week?

Hold on. Seguro?

Medi-Cal?

How are you going to pay for this?

If we could pay for it,

we'd go to a regular hospital.

My grandmother will

get pneumonia waiting.

Take a seat and we'll call your number.

You have to bring him in.

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