Standing Ovation Page #5

Hey, what will it be?

Pizza or Chinese?

- Chinese.

- Chinese it is.

The big problem is I can't get

any background dancers.

And if we wanna win this thing,

we gotta hit it big.

What about your cousins?

They're both great dancers.

They're in Florida, Dad,

and I need them now.

Wait a minute.

I got a better idea.

- What?

- Big surprise!

Okay, listen up.

This is no fire drill.

You're working for me now.

Get in line!

You are the background dancers

and your job

is to make me look good.

Do you understand that?

[all] Ma'am, yes, ma'am!

So...

What are you doing?

We're not even performing yet.

I'm making the video

of the video being made.

Whatever. Just please

get back. Go.

If any of you guys think you

know how to dance, step forward.

Okay, well, let's see

what you got.

[Alanna] Okay, okay.

Let's not get carried away.

Remember, I'm the star here.

Let's do some stretching

before we start.

I don't want any of you guys

pulling muscles.

Come on, guys!

[all grunting]

Whatever! Just try

moving your hips.

[Alanna] Okay, forget that.

Apparently, you don't

have any hips. Just sway

your big bellies.

Come on, people!

I can't believe I have to do

this! Let's go!

I wanna see some good things.

You have a belly, use it!

Let's go, people!

Okay, I think we're ready.

Let's go, guys!

I've got the world on a

string

I'm sitting on a rainbow

Got the string around my

finger

What a world and what a

life

I'm in love

Eric, we're here!

Sorry, Eric. We had car trouble.

That's okay.

My brother's waiting inside.

Okay, good.

Say something.

So how's it going, Eric?

You're looking good.

Good, thank you.

When you were a young boy

Did you have a puppy

That always followed you

around?

Well, I'm gonna be as

faithful as that puppy

You know, I'll never

let you down

'Cause it grows stronger

Like a river flows

And it gets bigger, baby

And heaven knows

And it gets sweeter, baby

As it grows

Do I love you

My, oh, my

Yeah, river deep, mountain

high

Yeah, yeah, yeah

If I lost you would I cry?

Oh, I love you, baby

Baby, baby, baby

Baby

Baby

Baby

Oh, baby

Oh, yeah

Do I love you

My, oh, my

River deep, mountain high

Yeah, yeah, yeah

If I lost you, would I cry?

Oh, I love you, baby

Baby, baby, baby

[screaming]

See you later, suckers!

I just slipped

that in for fun.

I didn't think it was

going to be funny.

It's not supposed to be.

Well, maybe we could

make it into, like, a comedy

or something.

[Cameron] People like to laugh.

I don't wanna be laughed at.

Maybe we should do something

modern like something upbeat.

Sounds like a great idea to me.

We can't afford to do anything

else, you guys.

The Wiggies are already

on their third idea.

If it's not good enough,

then you've got to do

something better.

Like what?

Well, what do you like?

I don't know.

Okay, so what do you hate?

Boys.

I think I know

a song we could use.

Why don't you give it up, girls,

and come work for us?

We could use a few extras.

- Extras

- Nerds

- Losers

- Freaks

Friends of yours?

Yeah, right.

[clinking]

Okay, girls. Etiquette.

Remember all the wonderful

little things I've taught you

that make us better

than everybody else.

Soup to nuts

Mind your p's and q's

Sit up straight

Or you get no food

Eat your bread

Like the upper class do

With a knife and a fork

No crumbs on you

Girls, girls, listen to Dad

- Don't make him mad

- Don't make me sad

You're the best girls

That a dad ever had

We're the best girls

Any dad ever had

Soup to nuts

Mind your p's and q's

Sit up straight

Or you get no food

Eat your bread

Like the upper class do

With a knife and a fork

No crumbs on you

- If you gotta burp

- Keep it under your shirt

- Full of gas

- Get it over with fast

That's what civilized

people will do

A rite of passage

For the privileged few

Soup to nuts

Mind your p's and q's

Sit up straight

Or you'll get no food

Eat your bread

Like the upper class do

With a knife and a fork

No crumbs on you

[gurgling]

[Mrs Wiggs] What are you

looking at, Jeffrey?

I think my soup

is talking to me.

[croaking]

[screaming]

Daddy! Daddy! Get rid of it!

What is it? Get it out!

I'll get it.

Allow me.

Who are you?

Throw it away! Throw it!

Did you order this?

No. What are you

gonna do with it?

Take it back to the sewer unless

you want me to crush its head in

for getting so close

to your daughter.

- No! Get rid of it!

- It's okay. It's okay.

You're a lucky guy.

She loves you.

Joei Battalucci.

I'm the kids' new manager.

The kids? What kids?

"What kids?" The 5 Ovations,

new kids on the block.

What's going on?

Frog soup.

And let me tell you something.

If you do anything to impede

their progress, you're gonna

have to answer to me. Capisce?

Is that like a threat?

No. A promise.

No! Get away!

Dropped your good luck charm.

You'll be needing it.

Thank you.

- Losers

- Nerds

Freaks

[laughing]

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- I thought you

were great today.

- Not me.

[croaking]

Halictus. That's his Latin name.

- Sure you don't want any?

- Oh, no. I'm fine.

So, I found that guy in Philly.

- You mean, the snuffer guy?

- Yeah. We need to go

show him something.

I already got you doing a

commercial up there next week.

[Brittany] Tat and Blaze

can't go next week.

[Joei] So three will be fine.

[Brittany] What kind of

commercial is it?

[Joei] Not dancing, I can

tell you that.

[Brittany] Are you saying

we can't dance?

[Joei] Are you kidding? I've

seen stiffs with better moves.

[O'Brien] Are you sure

you don't want me

to come in with you?

No, I already met the people.

Don't worry. We'll be fine.

Call me when you finish.

I'm going to visit a friend.

- Good luck.

- Bye, Mr O'Brien.

OTB.

What's that?

Off- track betting.

Don't worry about it.

[Joei] I got plenty of dough

if we need it.

[bell rings]

Here we go. Here we go.

We are ready to do this.

Everybody ready?

Okay, you two, clear out.

Okay. This, this is the product.

This is what pays the bills.

This is the Big Kahuna.

When you hold it in your hand,

I want you to imagine

it's like gold in your fingers.

- Can you feel that?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Well,

is it okay if I imagine it

silver instead of gold?

[Cameron] I think it's prettier.

Yes. Yes, you can.

Okay. Roll camera.

[man] All right, here we go.

Picture's up.

- [bell ringing]

- Let's roll sound,

roll cameras.

Sound speed.

- Camera speed.

- And action.

This is it, this is gold

Drink it up, wow, it's cold

You got to shake and wake it

Pop the tab away

Shake it and wake it

Pop the tab away

Shake it and wake it

Yeah

Cut! Cut!

What are you guys doing?

You're supposed to look like

you like it.

- It doesn't taste good.

- What are you talking about?

- Yeah, it's really yucky.

- Is this the real product?

Yes, sir.

Give me that.

When you drink it,

you have to love it.

[burps]

- You sure this

is the product?

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