Star 80

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Dorothy:
WHEN

THE EDITOR OF PLAYBOY

TOLD ME I'D WON

"PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR,"

THE FIRST THING OUT OF MY

MOUTH WAS, "ARE YOU SURE?"

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Interviewer:

DID YOUR BROTHER

MIND YOU BEING:

IN THE MAGAZINE?

I THINK, UH, MY BROTHER

WAS A LITTLE SHY

BECAUSE HE HAS FRIENDS

WHO ARE 18 YEARS OLD,

17 YEARS OLD, WHO SAID,

YOU KNOW,"HEY,

YOUR SISTER'S IN PLAYBOY."

BUT HIS FRIENDS...

WELL, I REMEMBER WHEN I CAME

HOME TO VISIT THE FAMILY

AND THEY CAME OVER

AND THEY SAID,

"I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

WE SAW YOU IN PLAYBOY,"

AND THEY SAID,

"HOW'D YOU GET IN?"

AND, "IT'S SO WONDERFUL."

AND THEN HE STARTED THINKING

THAT, YOU KNOW, THAT...

THAT IS PRETTY NEAT.

YOU KNOW, MY SISTER...

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PLAYBOY'S MOTTO IS

"THE GIRL NEXT DOOR."

THEY LOOK FOR GIRLS

THAT ARE WHOLESOME AND

FRESH AND YOUNG AND NAIVE,

THEY LOOK FOR ALL OF THAT.

SO MOST OF:

THOSE GIRLS DO, UH,

HAVE THA TYPE OF BACKGROUND.

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IT TOOK ME 5 MONTHS TO SHOO MY PLAYMATE-OF-THE-YEAR LAYOUT.

I SHOT OVER 20,000 PICTURES.

IT'S PERFECTION.

THEY DON'T GO FOR JUST,

UH, GREAT NUDE SHOTS.

THEY GO FOR ART.

PERFECT ART.

AND I'M PROUD OF THAT.

AND, UM, UM,

I'M HAPPY TO SHARE THA WITH SOMEBODY

WHO CAN APPRECIATE IT.

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Interviewer:
WOULD YOU LIKE

TO BE JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER

WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Sister:
YEAH.

Interviewer:
WHY?

Sister:
BECAUSE

I'M PROUD OF HER.

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CLICKS, CLICKS]

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HI. HOW ARE YOU?

HELLO.

PAUL SNIDER.

YEAH, I'M PAUL SNIDER.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

SNIDER.

PAUL.

HELLO.

HA, HA, YEAH.

PAUL SNIDER.

AH, F*** YOU.

F*** YOU ALL, BASTARDS.

HE SEEMED A LITTLE

PISSED OFF AT SOMETHING.

WHAT, I DON'T KNOW.

BUT NOT A BAD GUY.

HE'S A GOOD TIPPER.

Interviewer:
HOW'D

HE MAKE HIS MONEY?

ALL SORTS OF WAYS.

HE DID SOMETHING FOR

ME HERE AT THE CLUB,

A COCKAMAMIE IDEA.

HE WAS ALWAYS PROMOTING

SOME COCKAMAMIE IDEA.

WHAT KIND OF:

IDEA WAS THIS?

A WET T-SHIRT CONTES USING ALL-LOCAL TALENT.

ALL RIGHT, MILLY.

OH, MILLY!

THERE SHE GOES.

ALL RIGHT, MILLY!

COME ON OUT. REALLY

SHOW THEM WHAT YOU'VE GOT!

MILLY IS VANCOUVER'S

OWN DOLLY PARTON.

THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.

AND HERE COMES NUMBER FOUR.

IT'S LOVELY PAT.

ALL RIGHT.

JUST STEP RIGHT UP

ON THE RUNWAY.

THERE SHE GOES.

WATCH HER GO. WHOA!

WE'RE ALL GETTING WET.

LOOK AT THAT HEAD GO.

LOOK AT THAT HEAD GO!

THERE SHE IS.

WHOA, BABY.

ALL RIGHT.

WHOA!

NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE,

IS THERE, GUYS, HUH?

GOOD SPORT.

COME ON, GIVE HER

A NICE ROUND OF APPLAUSE.

ALL RIGHT,

HERE COMES JERI.

ALL RIGHT,

LET'S GET ANOTHER ONE IN.

COME ON, THERE,

GET IN THERE.

WE'VE GOT 2,

2 JUST LIKE THAT.

NOW GIVE ME 3. COME ON,

MILLY, GET IN THERE.

3 FOR THE PRICE OF ONE.

PAUL CLEARED:

ALMOST $900 FOR HIMSELF.

PRETTY GOOD, I THOUGHT.

YOU SHOULD HAVE:

RAISED YOUR MINIMUM.

YOU SHOULD HAVE:

ADVERTISED.

YOU BLEW IT, MAN.

YOU BLEW IT BECAUSE

YOU'RE TOO CHEAP.

TOMORROW, MAC.

HE WASN'T ALWAYS

EASY TO TAKE.

Interviewer:
HOW ELSE

DID HE MAKE HIS MONEY?

OH, JESUS.

HE'D TRY ANYTHING.

HE PIMPED...

DID YOU SAY:

PIMPED?

DID I SAY THAT?

DID I SAY PIMPED?

YEAH, I GUESS I DID.

WITH A COUPLE OF GIRLS,

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I HEARD.

OH, YEAH,

HE HAD SOMETHING TO DO

WITH THOSE BIG AUTO SHOWS.

HE SUPPLIED THEM WITH

HOSTESSES, MODELS, SOMETHING.

HAD THE HOTS FOR CARS,

CARS AND GIRLS,

GIRLS AND CARS!

YET ONE THING ABOU THAT LITTLE COCKER,

HE COULD REMEMBER

EVERYBODY'S NAME

IF HE JUST MET 'EM

OR MET 'EM 5 YEARS AGO.

HE ALWAYS:

REMEMBERED THE NAME.

NOW, I ADMIRE THAT.

IT'S A REAL GIFT.

A REAL GIFT.

Paul:
THEY SEEM LIKE

REALLY NICE GUYS.

AL IS FROM:

RACINE. FORD.

AND HARRY AND BOB

ARE FROM SEATTLE.

OLDSMOBILE.

I FEEL FUNNY.

IT'S JUST DINNER

AND SOME LAUGHS.

THAT'S IT?

I'LL TALK TO THEM

AGAIN.

THEY'RE

REALLY NICE GUYS.

THEY'LL

TELL ME STRAIGHT.

IF THEY:

EXPECT MORE...

SOME GUYS WOULD...

IF THEY EXPECT MORE,

THEN IT'S OFF, OK?

IT'S OFF.

I AM NOT F***ING

FOR MONEY, PAUL.

SHE'S NOT, BUT I AM.

HA HA HA HA!

LOOK, LET ME

TALK TO THEM AGAIN

TO GET I STRAIGHTENED OUT.

Man:
HE'S A CHEAP HUSTLER.

HE EVEN LOOKS PIMPISH.

WHY SHE WANTS TO MARRY HIM?

SOME KIND:

OF LOYALTY, I GUESS.

GET SOME OF OUR PEOPLE

TO CALL VANCOUVER,

CHECK HIM OUT,

SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING.

LAST NAME SNIDER,

S-N-I-D-E-R.

FIRST GIVEN, PAUL,

SECOND GIVEN, LESLIE.

YEAH, I KNOW HIM.

SMALL-TIMER.

KIND OF A JOKE, REALLY.

ALWAYS TRYING SOMETHING.

ALWAYS IN TROUBLE.

THE LOAN SHARKS, MOSTLY.

JEEZ, THIS

ISN'T FUNNY, MAN!

I... I... I'M

GETTING S-SICK.

LET ME UP.

I'M GETTING SICK.

LOOK AT MY SUIT.

THAT'S A $400 SUIT.

THAT WASN'T FUNNY, MAN.

I MEAN, LET'S BE

CIVILIZED, HUH, MAN?

OH, SH*T!

THAT WAS DANGEROUS,

VERY DANGEROUS.

AND HUMILIATING.

PLEASE, SNIDER!

DO YOURSELF A FAVOR.

DON'T SAY

ANY MORE, PLEASE.

7 POINTS IS TOO MUCH, MAN.

YOU SHOULDN' HUMILIATE ME, CHARLIE.

HERE WE GO AGAIN.

CHARLIE. COME ON, CHARLIE.

PLEASE, CHARLIE.

PLEASE, CHARLIE.

CHARLIE, YOU BASTARD!

YOU SMART BASTARDS,

EVERYBODY KISSING YOUR ASS.

EVERYBODY DOWN ON

THEIR F***ING KNEES!

WELL...

NOT ME. I DON' KISS ASS FOR NOBODY.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA FORGET ME.

YOU ROTTEN F***ERS,

YOU TRIED TO KILL ME.

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I FOUND HER, YOU DIDN'T.

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I FOUND HER.

I WAS WORKING IN THIS

DAIRY QUEEN PART-TIME

WHILE I WEN TO HIGH SCHOOL,

AND ONE DAY THIS

GENTLEMAN WALKED IN

WITH THIS:

GORGEOUS BLONDE.

SHE HAD A FUR COAT ON.

THEY BOTH:

HAD FUR COATS ON.

AND I HAD THIS PONYTAIL

AND THIS:

LITTLE SMOCK ON.

AND I SAID,

"CAN I HELP YOU?"

AND HE SAID, "WELL,

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

HA. WELL,

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

DOROTHY.

CAN I HELP YOU?

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

ME?

MAY I TAKE:

YOUR ORDER NOW?

I'LL HAVE SOMETHING SWEET,

SOFT, AND WHITE.

YOU.

WILL YOU PLEASE:

TAKE THEIR ORDER?

JESUS, PAUL!

SHE'S REALLY

BEAUTIFUL.

SHE'S A BABY.

GET THEM WHILE:

THEY'RE YOUNG, RIGHT?

I'LL HAVE

A BANANA SPLIT...

GOD, I DIDN'T GO OU WITH BOYS VERY MUCH.

I WAS VERY STRAIGHT.

UH, I COULDN'T TALK

TO PEOPLE EASILY.

[ROD STEWART'S DO YA

THINK I'M SEXY? PLAYS]

SO, WHEN DO YOU

GET OUT OF SCHOOL?

JUNE, I HOPE.

DO YOU LIKE THE CAR?

WELL, ONE DAY YOU'LL

HAVE A BETTER ONE.

A MERCEDES, MAYBE.

THEY'RE HOT.

? IF YOU WANT MY BODY

AND YOU THINK I'M SEXY ?

I'M GONNA GET I FOR YOU.

? COME ON, SUGAR,

LET ME KNOW ?

? IF YOU REALLY NEED ME ?

? JUST REACH OU AND TOUCH ME ?

? COME ON, HONEY,

TELL ME SO ?

? TELL ME SO, BABE ?

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

THE MANAGEMENT HAS ASKED

ME TO SPEAK TO YOU.

YOUR FLY IS OPEN,

AND THE WHOLE RESTAURAN CAN SEE YOUR DONG.

SOMEONE WAITING ON ME.

THAT'S NEW.

IT'S VERY NICE HERE.

IF YOU LIKE:

ITALIAN FOOD,

I KNOW A REAL:

KNOCKOUT PLACE.

I'LL TAKE YOU

TOMORROW NIGHT.

I LIKE PIZZA.

WELL, THIS IS NORTHERN

ITALIAN, 3 STARS.

I KNOW THE MAITRE D'.

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