Star Trek Page #2

is gratitude.

Thank you, ministers,

for your consideration.

Live long and prosper.

- Hi.

- Hey there.

Hi. I'd like a Clabmin fire tea ...

- Try the Slusho, it's good.

- A Slusho mix, thank you.

That's a lot of drinks for a woman.

- And a shot of Jack, straight up.

- Make that two. Her shot's on me.

Her shot's on her.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Don't you at least wanna know my name

before you completely reject me?

I'm fine without it.

You are fine without it. It's Jim, Jim Kirk.

If you don't tell me your name,

I'm gonna have to make one up.

- It's Uhura.

- Uhura? No way.

That's the name I was gonna make

up for you.

- Uhura what?

- Just Uhura.

- They don't have last names in your world?

- Uhura is my last name.

Well then you have ... your first name's Human?

- Excuse me buddy. - So, you're a cadet,

your studying. What's your focus?

Xenolinguistics.

You have no idea what that means.

The study of alien languages.

Morphology, phonology, syntax.

Means you've got a talented tongue.

I'm impressed.

For a moment there, I thought you were just

a dumb-hair colonial

who has sex with farm animals.

Well, not only.

This townie isn't bothering you, right?

Oh, beyond belief.

But it's nothing I can't handle.

You could've handled me.

That's an invitation.

- Hey. You better mind your manners.

- Oh relax cupcake, it was a joke.

Hey farm boy, maybe you can't count.

There are 4 of us and 1 of you.

So get some more guys and then it'll

be an even fight.

Guys. Stop it.

Stop it!

Enough!

Guys, he's had enough.

Outside. All of you.

- Now.

- Yes, sir.

- What ...

- I just bought a drink.

- You all right, son?

- You can whistle really loud, you know that?

You know I couldn't believe it when the

bartender told me who you are.

- Who the hell am I, captain Pike?

- Your father's son.

Can I get another one?

For my dissertation I was assigned USS Kelvin.

Something I admired about your dad, he didn't

believe in no-win scenarios.

- Sure learned his lesson.

- Well that depends on how you define winning.

You're here, aren't you?

- Thanks.

You know that instinct to leap without looking,

that was his nature too

and in my opinion something Starfleet's lost.

Why are you talking to me man?

Because I looked up your file while

you were drooling on the floor.

Your aptitude tests are off the charts, so

what is it?

You like being the only genius level

repeat-offender in the mid-west?

Maybe I love it.

So your dad dies, you can saddle for

less than an ordinary life.

Or do you feel that you were meant for

something better? Something special?

- Enlist in Starfleet.

- Enlist?

You guys must be way down on your

recruiting quarter for the month.

If you're half the man your father was

Jim,

Starfleet could use you.

You can be an officer in 4 years,

you can have your own ship in 8.

You understand what the Federation is,

don't you? It's important,

It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian

armada.

We done?

I'm done.

Riverside shipyard. Shuttle for new

recruits leaves tomorrow - 08:00.

Your father was captain of a starship

for 12 minutes.

He saved 800 lives, including your

mother's and yours.

I dare you to do better.

Nice ride man.

It's yours.

At ease gentlemen.

Never did get that first name.

- You need a doctor.

- I told you people,

I don't need a doctor,

damn it. I am a doctor.

- You need to get back to your seat.

- I had one, in the bathroom with no windows.

I suffer from aviofobia. That means fear

of dying in something that flies.

Sir, for your own safety, sit down or

else I'll make you sit down!

- Fine.

- Thank you.

This is captain Pike, we've been cleared

for takeoff.

I may throw up on you.

- I think these things are pretty safe.

- Don't pander with me kid.

One tiny crack in the hull and our blood

boils in 13 seconds.

A solar flare might crop up,

cook us in our seats.

And while youre sitting pretty with a case

of Andorian shingles,

see if you're still so relaxed when your

eyeballs are bleeding.

Space is disease and danger, wrapped

in darkness and silence.

Well I hate to break this to you, but

Starfleet operates in space.

Yeah, well... I've got nowhere else to go, the ex

wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce.

All I've got left is my bones.

- Jim Kirk.

- McCoy. Leonard McCoy.

Three years later.

Captain Nero. You've been

requested on the bridge, sir.

Ayel says it's time.

Sir, we've arrived at the

coordinates we calculated.

There's nothing here. What

are your orders?

We wait.

We wait for the one who allowed

our home to be destroyed.

As we've been doing for 25 years.

- And once we've killed him?

- Kill him?

I'm not gonna kill him.

I gonna make him watch.

Capture that ship.

Welcome back, Spock.

- Why are you so happy?

- I do not know what you're talking about.

- No, I don't suppose you do.

- Hello ladies.

- I'm taking the test again.

- You've got to be kidding.

Yeah, tomorrow morning.

And I want you there.

You know I've got better things to do than

watch you embarrass yourself for the 3rd time.

I am a doctor, Jim. I'm busy.

Bones, it doesn't bother you that no ones

ever passed the test.

Jim, it's Kobayashi Maru.

Nobody passes the test.

And no one goes back for seconds,

let alone thirds.

I've gotta study.

Study, my ass.

Jim, I think I love you.

- That is so weird.

- Lights.

- Did you just say that is so weird.

- Yeah, I did, but I ...

You don't love me too?

- Oh, no, my roommate.

- I thought you said she was gone for the night.

Obviously she's not. Quick, you've got ...

just get under the bed.

- Under ... ? - Look, just get under

the bed. She can't see you.

- Why not? - Because I promised her

I'd stop bringing guys back to the dorm.

- Well how... How many guys have you ...?

- Just d... just down.

- Hey.

- Hey. How are you?

- Good. - Strangest thing...

I was in the long range sensor lab.

Yeah, I thought all night...

I was tracking solar systems and I picked

up an emergency transmission.

- Really?

- Yeah.

From a Klingon prison planet.

- No.

- Yeah.

A Klingon armada was destroyed,

So, you're not going back to the

lab tonight?

- Gaila, who is he?

- Who's who?

The mouth-breather hiding under

your bed.

- You could hear me breathing?

- You.

- Big day tomorrow.

- You're gonna fail.

- Gail, see you around.

- Get out.

- If I pass will you tell me your first name?

- No. Good night.

I think the fact that you picked up

a transmission is very impress...

We're receiving a distress signal from

the USS Kobayashi Maru.

The ship has lost power and is

stranded.

Starfleet command has ordered

us to rescue them.

Starfleet command has ordered

us to rescue them ... captain.

Two Klingon vessels have entered the neutral

zone and are locking weapons on us.

- That's OK.

- That's OK?

Yeah, don't worry about it.

- Did he say don't worry about it?

- Is he not taking the simulation seriously?

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