Starlet Page #3

Melissa!

Melissa, somebody just stole your car!

What?

- Somebody just stole your f***ing car!

- What the f***? What?

Yeah, somebody just stole your car!

Oh, my f***.

Mikey,

somebody f***ing took the car.

- Should I call the cops?

- No!

Tell her not to f***ing call the cops.

It just got repoed.

Don't call the cops.

What? Why?

F***ing repo.

Why you getting mad at me? I told you

not to f***ing park it there. Ow!

You guys are f***ing insane.

Jesus, you're hungry.

Well, the secret to living to be my age

is a big breakfast like this.

No lunch...

and a salad for dinner, and you

have the perfect bowel movement.

Jesus.

So, um...

yard sales often?

What?

Do you have yard sales often?

Um.

Insurance company made me do it.

Why?

The mailman, clumsy idiot.

There was a little crack in the steps,

and he fell and broke his leg.

And there was weeds and clutter...

and they said it was a risk

and a safety hazard...

and so they...

they're forcing me to clean it up.

I didn't know they could do that.

So...

the thermos I bought from you...

Is it...

Is it...

What's with you and this thermos?

Is it broken?

No, no, no. I was just... I mean...

Is it yours, or...

Of course it's mine.

I wouldn't have put it...

I was just asking. I just...

Is something wrong with it?

You can get your money back.

No, it works great. Thank you.

So...

after your husband died...

did you ever think

of getting remarried?

No.

You have children?

No.

Thank you.

I insist.

Stop. It's not even that much.

No, it's mine. I didn't even

eat that much. It's fine.

It's mine. Listen. I have more money

than I can ever spend in my lifetime.

You do?

Yes.

Remember I told you

Franky was a gambler?

Yeah.

He was a good one.

L-27.

L-27.

G-49.

G-49.

Why don't you have any of those good

luck charms that everybody else has?

They don't...

They don't work. I don't use that stuff.

Really?

No.

G-55.

It's not my thing.

Because...

I don't like that stuff.

They're winning.

N-37.

Bingo!

You win some, you lose some.

No, you lose them all.

I'll have you know,

last year I won a game.

A game?

Yes.

Really?

Yes.

What did you win?

$125.

Jesus, you'd think your husband's gambling

luck would have rubbed off on you a bit more.

Hmm.

What?

I haven't...

I haven't seen Frank in three months.

What do you mean you haven't seen Frank

in three months? I thought he was dead.

He 13 dead.

I- I mean, I haven't been to the

cemetery since I stopped driving.

Did you lose your license?

No. I gave it up.

On my birthday last year.

I went to the D.M.V.

and turned it in.

Jesus. Why the f***

would you turn in your license?

That's retarded.

Because when old people're old, they're old,

and they don't need to be driving anymore.

You see that lady over there?

That's Dorothy.

Yeah.

She was driving on the sidewalk...

for three blocks

and didn't even realize it...

and then hit two pedestrians.

They have no business driving...

'cause they're old.

So basically

you're trying to ask for a ride?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Do you want me to give you a ride?

61. Ah.

Ah.

Oh, you know you want a ride,

and I'm gonna give you a ride.

Stop. Get off my thing!

just stop playing with my board!

Hi, Goobers! Kisses!

What are you doing?

Dyeing my hair.

No.

No. Stop. You're gonna mess up. Sit.

I got Luscious Raspberry.

Luscious.

Luscious. Luscious Raspberry.

I know...

'Cause I know, like, on the-

You know like on the color wheel

what things go together.

I would've been good at that.

Like, you know, and, like...

you know,

work at one of those salons and...

I thought about,

like, Hot Pink too...

but that's kind of like too, you know,

whorey, like wanting attention.

Red's more subtle.

Stop. That's it.

Stop, stop, stop, stop. That's it.

Where?

Okay. Right here. Right here.

Could you back up a little tiny bit?

That's too much.

That's too much.

Well, I don't... You said back up.

I assumed that you wanted to go back.

I just...

Yeah, but I don't want that much.

just... Now that's it.

Is this okay?

Stop right here. That's it.

You sure?

That's it. Good.

Maybe we can make it better and...

I want you to-

Stop. You're making me nuts!

This is nice.

Will you stop? This is it.

You got the car crooked.

Are those from your garden?

Yes, I try to bring a different bunch

every time I come.

I'll be back.

I really prefer my own brand.

That dry sh*t

that you shove into hot water?

- Hello?

- Janey, it's me.

My cell phone got shut off.

Can you give me a ride to Renegade?

- I'll do it when I get home.

- No, I need a ride now. It's an emergency.

All the other girls

got their checks but me.

Where are you?

Um.

I'm on the corner

of Winnetka and Vanowen.

What's up?

We have to take a slight detour.

I'm really sorry about this,

by the way.

In back.

Hey! Watch Starlet!

Jesus, Melissa! Come on.

Arash is totally f***ing me.

Why isn't Mikey handling this?

Because he said he

doesn't want to rock the boat.

Renegade.

It's Zana.

Zana. Zana!

She's quite the stable one.

Hmm. Yeah.

Walking!

You wanna tell me why

you haven't f***ing paid me?

Huh?

Let me call you back.

Where's my f***ing money?

Are you kidding me?

No.

You didn't even work.

What are you talking about?

You don't even remember

what happened, do you?

You couldn't perform, I called a

cab for you, and I sent you home.

Do you remember that?

So pay me

my f***ing kill fee then.

What kill fee? You know very well kill fee

is paid when I'm the one who cancels.

Then...

What are you talking about?

Then help me

find a new job like you-

Then f***ing help me like you said

you were gonna f***ing help me!

- I have been trying to help you for months.

- You'd pay me if you wanted to help me!

Pay you for what? Pay me for my work!

Or for my not work!

If you don't wanna hire me, then f***ing

help me, like you say you're gonna help me.

You know what?

I had enough of this. Go.

"I had enough of this.

Go. Oh, get out. "

Be nice.

"Be nice. "

F***ing sand n*gger.

Get the f*** out of here! Janice!

What kind of business is this?

Um, it's like a temp agency.

Hmm.

Get the f*** off me, b*tch.

B*tch?

You're outta here! Outta here!

I'm not f***ing going anywhere!

Out! Oh, I wanna punch

you in your brown face!

Why don't you do it then?

Stop it. You stop too!

You f***ing touch us all!

Get her out of here!

You f***ing love molesting all of us, huh?

When did that happen? When?

I bet you f***ing touch Janice,

and she f***ing likes it!

- You're out!

- I'm going. I'll take my sweet time.

Get that f***ing thing

out of my face.

Wow. I'm really gonna miss it here.

Come on.

Stop.

I'm trying to make this better for you.

You could just walk out with some class.

Oh!

What is that?

What are you doing?

Zana, come on.

How's that for B.T.S.?

F***ing pathetic losers.

You are so paying for that.

Oh, I'll f***ing pay for it

when Arash pays me, b*tches!

Suck it!

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