Starlet Page #5

and they're dancing in the streets.

I don't remember the name.

That's my favorite.

Yeah.

You are one tough cookie to read.

I will tell you that, Sadie.

Well, is this baby the only man

in your life?

Mmm.

I don't know. it's complicated.

Like, my work,

it doesn't really allow for it.

Well, don't seem like a very

strenuous schedule that you have.

What about you?

What about me what?

Oh, I don't work. I'm... No.

No, no, no,

What about dating?

Oh.

My first, last date

with my Franky...

was when we went

to the Los Angeles Zoo...

and he proposed.

That's really cute.

I want that.

Yeah.

- Let's go.

- What? Why? We just got here.

No! Let's go to the zoo.

I wanna go to the zoo.

We could revisit where you and Frank

first got it on...

And then, I don't know.

I mean, a gorilla could propose

to me for all we know.

Come on. it's a road trip.

It's just right over the hill.

It closed in 1965.

Sorry.

We can go find the new one.

But this is the one

we came to.

So when was the last time

you left the Valley?

I suppose it was a long time ago.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Maybe that wasn't such a hot idea.

Well... Hmm.

Hmm.

Hey, do you want to Star-sit

next weekend?

Do... Do what?

Dog-sit Starlet.

I mean, I have a job,

and I can't really bring him, so...

I don't know.

Okay.

Bye.

Hey. Wanna tan?

No.

Wait, you got your car back.

Sure did. But I thought you

didn't have the money.

Wait, so is this...

Are you doing this,

like, regularly?

Yeah. What's the big deal?

You've never taken a private?

No.

Well, when you're ready,

I'll hook you up.

Don't go through Mikey.

He'll take 50%.

Can I ask you why you're

holding on to all these newspapers?

There are articles

in there that I save.

Would you mind explaining

what's happening in the fireplace?

That's my... Another place that I

keep things that... that I refer to.

And then we have the tree outside. It's

overgrown. We have to trim that back.

Wait! I don't want anybody touching my tree.

That's my tree.

We're not gonna cut it down.

We're just gonna trim it back.

These are the people

I was telling you about.

Ms. Perkins, you have to clean this up,

or you're gonna face another lawsuit.

I already had my yard sale...

and I had the lawn mowed

and I had it all cleaned...

You're gonna have to

have a bigger yard sale.

Okay?

Number one, you said you have no visitors.

I don't have any visitors.

You have a visitor right here!

You can lose your f***ing attitude,

number one.

She is trying to help. I'm sorry, but it

seems like you're the one with the attitude.

- Okay, ladies. We should go.

- Yeah, I think it's time to go.

- Yeah, I think it is.

- Hmm. Sorry.

I hope she trips and falls.

If he's being good,

you can give him snacks.

Okay.

And then...

He can play with that little toy?

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm off. I have to go.

All right, here we go.

Are you nervous?

Not really. Should I be?

No. I am a little bit.

F***ing jules's booth

is three times larger than ours.

This is downtown L.A.,

not Vegas.

If you've done your job right,

your face is gonna be hurting by tonight.

What? Why?

Smiling.

You a good boy?

I bet you miss your mommy,

don't you? Huh?

Tess.

Hi.

How are you guys doing today?

You're a fan?

Yeah.

Do you do any girl-on-girl scenes?

You have a beautiful vagina.

I'm so happy.

Fabulous.

She thanks you.

Here.

Thank you, baby.

She has like that much left.

Okay.

I mean, what I can do is, if...

I'll just make sure. Like, if

it does run, then I'll go...

Hi.

What's your name?

I'm Joey.

Pardon?

Joey.

Joey?

Yeah.

Nice to meet you. Tess.

Hi.

How's your day?

Good.

Yeah?

They said I could

have a picture with you.

I would love to have a

picture with you. Okay.

Starlet.

Starlet?

Oh.

Starlet?

Oh, sh*t.

Take care.

Oh.

I'm so proud of you.

I'm exhausted.

You know what I was thinking?

Yeah.

We do a couple more

of these next-door-girl things...

and then we fix your tits.

Okay.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Kind of scared. I know this

great doctor in Beverly Hills.

Yeah?

Starlet!

Hello.

Have you seen...

I've lost my little dog.

Vanessa?

Qu?

What?

Did you see a little dog?

No, I haven't seen a dog.

A little Chihuahua?

No, I have not.

Oh, crap.

Starlet!

Starlet!

Jules, what's up man?

Good to see you.

How are you?

Good.

How are you, baby?

Baby, let's go.

So anyways, yeah.

Actually, I just, like, came

by to talk to you about Melissa.

And I, you know... I understand why you did

it, but she's doing, like, a lot better.

Where is Melissa? Is she here?

What the f*** is she doing here, man?

Can she at least sign...

a few pictures for the fans?

No, she can't.

Is she f***ed up again?

All her f***ing DVD's

are out here-

What is that f***ing red hair?

I told her not to do it.

I told her, and I'm telling you.

She's frozen for a month.

You gotta get her out of here now.

Melissa.

We got... We gotta go.

We gotta go.

Just f***ing move away

from your table.

Look, I f***ing totally understand

your problems with her.

I have all the same f***ing problems

with her that you do...

and I don't want that

to affect our working relationship.

That'd be f***ing

no good with me.

Zana?

That's why I want to talk to you.

I have a good idea.

You know X-Men? We could

do f***ing Triple-X-Men.

I'd play Wolverine.

It would be so sick.

It would be so awesome. Think about it.

Is that a fact?

Yeah! I used to be a purple belt,

so like, the physicality...

Renegade does no parodies.

Ooh, get my butt.

My butt looks really good in this.

Can I get a picture of your butt?

Yeah.

Let me just-

If you want to talk to me,

you come back, talk to me on first.

Now you go get her

and get the f*** out of here.

Go. Now. Thanks, man. I

really f***ing appreciate it.

Melissa, we gotta

get the f*** out of here.

Come on. Now.

That girl is bad news.

I don't want to see you with her.

I live with her.

So don't live with her anymore.

Think about what I told you,

all right?

What happened?

Are you okay?

Absolutely not.

Here, take Starlet.

Wait. Well, what happened?

What did he... What did he do?

He didn't do anything.

I- I don't need this friendship

or your help.

What do you mean?

I appreciate it.

I just can't handle this anymore.

What can't you handle?

Just take him.

What happened? Nothing happened.

just take him.

I can't handle it anymore.

I can't handle it anymore!

Just go!

What happened?

Good-bye. I can't handle it.

You want me to call the police?

No!

Go! Just go.

What are you...

Just go!

Just go.

Sadie!

Good-bye.

Sadie!

Good-bye.

Sadie, what happened?

Wh... F***! What is she, bipo...

What did you do?

F***.

What's up?

Not now, Melissa.

God.

F*** is going on?

Mikey has a surprise for us.

Mikey, come on.

Now you woke up Jane.

What's going on?

Do not come down here.

It is a f***ing surprise!

I... Listen! I repeat.

Do not come down until I'm ready.

This sh*t is going to be

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