StarStruck Page #5

- I am not.

- And you're defensive.

Move the car! We're not moving.

Great.

We'll have to get out and push.

- Wait, wait, wait. Look, I'll help you.

- Don't touch me.

- Why are you so mad?

- I don't know. This.

Look, turning onto this road

was not my idea.

- You're blaming me?

- Yeah, you're a terrible navigator!

- You're a terrible driver!

- Hey, I'm a great driver.

Right.

- Jess, we're gonna have to jump.

- I'm not jumping.

- You got a better idea?

- Use the branch as a bridge.

- It does not look stable.

- It looks fine.

All right.

Here goes. All right.

It's sinking and making noises.

- Go faster.

- Okay!

This is my grandma's car!

I understand that.

Just give me your hand.

You okay? Grab the branch!

Grab the branch!

- Excuse you.

- You killed Petunia!

Well... Yeah.

My backpack! Don't just stand there.

Help me!

Here. Here. Give me your hand.

Give me your hand.

- Come on.

- I'm dead. I'm dead.

I'm gonna die,

that's what's gonna happen,

'cause my parents are gonna kill me.

Why did I have to get in that stupid car

with you?

- Answer your phone!

- Okay. Sorry.

- Dad?

- Yeah... Son? Can you hear me?

- Hello?

- We are a little worried over here and...

Can you hear me?

Dad? There's no signal.

Can you hear me?

Christopher, come home, honey, okay?

Or call us.

Do you... Hello?

Hello?

Look at this!

When we get out of here,

you're paying for a new one.

I'm paying for it right now.

- Jess.

- What?

Where are you going?

To the beach where my sister

is probably freaking out right now.

- Jess?

- What?

Beach is that way.

Please.

Christopher John Wilde.

Come on. Am I being Punk'd?

- Hey, how you doing? You okay?

- Now you're concerned?

You know, I've always been concerned.

- Maybe you should stop.

- Why are you so grumpy?

I'm not grumpy or cranky or crabby!

I just wanna get home to my family,

explain why I disappeared,

and suffer the consequences.

You want to know what I want?

I wanna have fun.

Okay, for the first time in years,

there's no reporters,

there's no interviews,

there's no crowds.

I'm having a great time. I want you

to stop complaining so I can enjoy it!

Wow, so that's what it's like with you?

You don't get what you want so you

throw a big ol' tantrum and walk away?

You know, I'll bet your friends

chase after you when you do that.

Christopher, I'm so sorry

I hurt your delicate little feelings.

Christopher, forgive me

for not treating you

like the big enormous star

you think you are.

What a brat.

I'm a brat? I'm a brat?

What about you, huh?

- Me?

- Yeah.

Over the last two days,

I've done nothing but think about you.

Really? So when you hit me

with a door twice,

hid me in your house,

wrecked my grandma's car

and dropped me in mud,

you were just being thoughtful?

- I pity your friends.

- You wish you were one.

I'd rather go down with Petunia.

You know what,

I'm confused about something.

What?

Okay, when we were

on our little photography tour,

- I thought you liked me.

- You thought wrong.

But everyone likes me.

Why is it that you don't like me?

Maybe because you think

everybody likes you.

- It's 'cause I'm likeable.

- No, because you're a star.

- What does that mean?

- You don't even see it, do you?

Your life isn't real.

You park in no-parking zones,

you never have to wait in line,

you buy anything you want, anytime.

Your house is like a hotel.

You have so many people

working for you,

and I'll bet

you don't even know their names.

- Do, too.

- Name one.

- Bob.

- You just made that up.

Well, okay, Stubby knows everybody.

That's his job.

See, that's not normal.

Okay, your best friend is your driver,

your parents are on your payroll,

and your girlfriend...

I mean, real people date someone

because they want to be with them.

Why are you with Alexis?

That's all I'm saying.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on.

Wait. Stop. What...

Are you saying I'm not a real person?

Because I am.

I stand corrected.

Well, all right. Well, what if I told you

something about me

that no one else knew?

You collect your toenails

in a peanut butter jar?

- No. What... No.

- Then what?

Well, from the first day I met you,

I just... Whoa!

Christopher!

- I can't swim.

- No.

- Gotcha!

- What? You're evil.

- You deserved it.

- You're so evil.

- You're gonna get it.

- You can try.

Get over here. No. Come on.

- Got you.

- I'm gonna get you.

- This is nice, isn't it?

- Man.

I wish I could just stay here

where no one can find me.

Why?

'Cause they all want something

from me.

A performance, or an interview,

or a photograph.

- Even your parents?

- That's complicated.

You know, sometimes I feel like

they only care about the business

- of "Christopher Wilde."

- I'm sure that's not true.

I don't know. I feel like all we talk

about right now is this movie deal.

They think

it's my next big career move, so...

Well, what do you think?

Think if I get the offer, I have to take it.

- What about your tour?

- What about it?

Well, 30 countries, 12 weeks.

One million screaming fans.

I mean, I'm not an expert or anything,

but it seems like a lot,

the tour and the movie

at the same time.

I don't have a choice.

Everyone has a choice.

What do you wanna do?

Well, I know what I don't wanna do.

I don't wanna disappoint anybody.

Especially my fans.

I wouldn't be where I am

without them, so...

I just never say no. To anything.

Maybe I don't understand.

- What?

- Your life.

I mean, it's so different from mine.

Everything you do and say

is so big and public.

Not everything.

Right now, here with you,

I feel like I can just be myself.

Not Christopher Wilde. Not famous.

Just... You know, just me.

- How do you like it?

- I like it a lot.

Me, too.

So tell me something about you.

- What do you wanna know?

- Everything.

That could take a while.

I live a very exciting life.

You're doing it again.

- Doing what?

- That thing with your eyes.

You mean this?

Okay, so comedy?

Not your next big career move.

What? No, I'm funny.

- Funny-looking.

- You like me.

You wish.

We should go.

Yeah. Come on.

Stubby?

Whoa. Sara?

What are you doing here?

That's not good.

- We made it.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Look, I had a really great time today.

- Me, too.

You're so different from any other girl

I've ever known.

- Different weird, different annoying?

- Different surprising.

In the best way.

I mean, you say things to me

everyone else is afraid to say,

and you make me see things

about myself that I can't see.

- You're pretty surprising, too.

- Really? How?

Well, for one thing,

you're a terrible driver,

which is strange for a guy with six cars.

I'm wounded.

Do you really think I'm bossy?

No. I think you're amazing.

I think you're amazing, too.

What are you doing?

That was close.

Okay. Back to the real world.

You know what happens next, right?

- No.

- This ends here.

- What does?

- This. Us.

You can't tell anybody

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