Starz Special: The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep Page #3

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I can explain. He--

Always been handy

with the plumbing.

He's a genius.

And you helped, did you, Angus?

Yes, I--

-I handed the tools.

-And you, Kirstie?

No. I came to get Angus to show him

the civil assistance manual.

It's getting a bit cramped in here,

so off you go. Did a grand job, Angus.

Bye.

It's the pipes.

It's the air locks bubbling through,

you see.

Angus was a great help.

So you said.

Oh, dear. Excuse me. That's--

The doctor warned me

not to eat haggis for breakfast.

So it's something about the...

...texture of the innards mixed in

with the suet that I just can't....

Thank you, thank you. You've

explained that quite enough.

Shut your ugly gob. You bloody near

got me sacked, you wee ingrate.

Captain, we'll have that bathroom

up and running by tonight.

Oh, wonderful.

Would you allow me to organize

a meal tomorrow evening?

As a token of our gratitude.

Just the officers and yourself,

of course, as guest of honor.

Thank you very much.

That'd be very nice.

Excellent. Shall we say 8:00?

What are we going to do?

One thing's sure, you need to

get him out of the house.

-But where can I put him?

-In the loch.

No! I want Crusoe to stay.

He's mine!

But he can't spend his life

in a toilet bowl.

-But he can stay with me.

-Whatever the devil he is...

...he's meant to swim and be free.

The loch is loaded

with salmon to eat...

...and there's plenty of water for him

to grow and move around in.

-You want what's best for him?

-What's best for him is to be with me.

Excuse me, sir. Mrs. MacMorrow.

Anyone for champagne?

-Thank you.

-That was very good, sir.

It was brilliant tonight,

with the last change from the--

Mrs. MacMorrow, you look radiant.

In Scotland

we call that a fib, captain.

Let me introduce you.

I love to watch a man work.

-Go easy.

-Don't we deserve it, eh?

Gentlemen.

The king, the regiment...

...and the lady of the house.

The king, the regiment

and the lady of the house.

Well, gentlemen, technically speaking

I'm not actually the lady of the house...

...but I suppose for tonight

I'm happy enough to serve that role.

-Thank you.

-She's charming.

Here you are. Look what I've got.

Don't be greedy now.

Angus, come quickly.

I've something funny to show you.

I'll be back in a minute, Crusoe.

You're not going to believe this.

You're a fine woman, Gracie.

Gracie!

Oh, my God.

I don't know what came over me.

Just a bit of fun.

Where's the dog?

Oh, no.

Do you know why I take two pairs

of trousers onto the golf course?

In case I get a hole in one.

Did you hear something?

No, no. Maybe this old house

has one or two ghosts, huh?

Oh, I don't believe in such things,

captain.

Come here, you bloody mongrel.

I'm sure I can hear something.

Yes, that time

I distinctly heard something.

Crusoe, no!

What's that now?

Come on, Crusoe! Get out of here!

-Take your hand off me, man.

-Angus, come right back here!

Crusoe, come back!

Mr. Lewis, what in goodness sake?

Sorry, the name's Mowbray, ma'am.

-What?

-Sorry, ma'am.

The dog got loose,

and I was trying to catch him.

I should say you failed at that.

-Yes, ma'am.

-You think it's funny, Mowbray?

No, no. It's a very serious matter.

You hold your tongue, man.

You're not in your stately home now.

I'll not be taking orders from you.

That is quite enough.

Go and collect Angus and

take him to his room immediately.

Yes, ma'am.

Crusoe? Crusoe, come back.

We're all going to get into trouble.

Lewis, we've got to find Crusoe.

He's gone.

Yeah, I know. I'll find the wee devil,

and you go straight to your room.

-But, Lewis--

-Off to bed with you.

Or your mom will have both our hides.

On you go. Go.

Where are you,

you wee, smelly beast?

Angus. Angus.

Angus, wake up. I found him.

Can't we just

put him back in the bathtub?

No. No, I don't think so.

Jings.

Lewis, do you know anything more

about water horses?

I think it was-- Aye, it was my Uncle

Lachlan who first told me about them.

Many years ago,

there was a lost traveler...

...and he's weeping bitter tears

because he cannot find his way home.

He'd given up hope.

Then suddenly, who should appear at

the bank of the loch to this traveler...

...but a sea spirit. A water horse.

The traveler, no fool is he, knows the

water horse is a creature of magic...

...one that could grow

So the traveler, he feeds

the water horse, strokes it...

...flatters it with compliments.

And finally the traveler says:

"Incidentally, water horse,

my dear friend...

...I'm wondering, if you've

no other pressing engagements...

...could I trouble you to carry me

across the loch on your back?

Show me the way home?"

Well, what happens?

Does the water horse help him?

I don't remember.

What? Does the water horse

help him or doesn't he?

Well, it was so long ago

that I heard it.

It either carries him across the loch...

...or it drags him down to the bottom

to his watery death.

I'm not sure which.

Here you go, your favorite snack.

Angus, run now!

Angus, run!

Faster. No looking back.

Mowbray.

You're all wet, man.

You been fishing?

No. I went diving, to see all those

submarines you're going to sink.

Oh, you like to mock the war effort,

do you?

No. No, I don't.

Our forces over there in Europe

on the front lines...

...they're doing a great job.

I want you to stay away from young

Angus. Do you understand?

I consider you a bad influence.

Is that so?

I don't know if you're a spy...

...or a deserter,

or just simply a coward, Mowbray.

-But I'm gonna find out.

-Oh, I see.

They took you away from

the battlefront...

...to hunt for deserters and cowards.

Well, I'm neither.

So you can take that

Sassenach attitude of yours...

...back to where you came from.

You stay away from the boy.

Do you understand?

I'll have a bit of breakfast.

Wait, wait.

-How does she feel?

-Oh, respectable.

-It's a nice one.

-Get the net.

You've got a keeper, for sure.

I'd say it's at least a five-pounder.

-Oh, my sainted mother!

-What on earth is it?

-It's a monster.

-It's a big fish, all right.

No, it's a monster,

a creature with horns. A devil!

I told you to stay off that drink

in the morning.

It's a big fish, all right.

-It's gigantic!

-Oh, no!

Cut the line. Mother of God, cut it.

Are you mad? This is the biggest fish

I've ever had on. I'm going to land it.

-It's going to sink us!

-Okay, okay. Cut the line.

Cut the line before he drowns us.

For God's sake, hurry up. Hurry up!

Did you see it?

I saw it. Whatever it is.

Sir.

Now, young man, your mother has

asked me to enlist you in service.

You are completely aimless, and

we're gonna give you some purpose...

...make a soldier out of you, all right?

Left! Left, right, left!

Left, left!

Come on, lad, hurry up. War'll be over

before you finish that spud.

That's very good, Angus.

Put your back into it, lad.

Left, right, left!

Left, left. Left, right, left!

Keep peeling. I'll be back.

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