State And Main Page #13

ANN:

You'd know better'n me.

JOE:

How can you say that?

ANN:

It's in your script... it's about

getting a second chance. Innit?

"You can go back..."

JOE:

I can?

ANN:

You bet your life.

(refers to script)

"The mill wheel goes around... some

times it's even under water -- then

it rises up, as high as it can go..."

JOE:

But how do I... how do I do a film

called "The Old Mill," when I don't

have an old mill?

ANN:

Well, first, you got to change the

title...

INT. PRODUCTION OFFICE - DAY

Sign reads "three days till shoot."

Walt is on the phone. Covers the phone. Crossed sticks on

the wall, Walt plays with a shuffleboard discus.

Girl P.A. brings cup of coffee to Walt. Her T-shirt reads,

"Does it have to be an old mill...?"

WALT:

(to A.D.)

No, he doesn't want to work out with

the Waterford Huskies... Because

he's Bob Barrenger... Call up his

girl in Aspen, have em ship his

weight... Yeah, well, fine, he's not

gonna do the Pond scene, unless he

can work out. Call up his girl in

Aspen, and have her ship the weights

out...

Walt hangs up the phone. Secretary enters with folders that

she hands to Walt.

WALT:

Who designed these costumes? Who

designed these costumes? It looks

like Edith Head puked and that puke

designed these costumes. Get Madge.

SECRETARY:

(to A.D.)

Your wife is on the phone.

WALT:

I have no wife.

A P.A. comes in with a big bakery box. They open it to show

it is a huge loaf of bread, and on it is written, in bread,

"Waterford Welcomes The Old Mill."

WALT:

(calling out)

We need a new name for the movie.

Where's the writer?

UBERTO:

(entering with

storyboards)

Wally, I got to takes out that window

from the dog. I can't shoot through...

Camera moves on past the production board, where we see

"Dinner with the Mayor" in red. And the costume designer

comes up.

COSTUME DESIGNER

...Claire's got a problem.

UBERTO:

Wally, if I hafes a moment of your

time... look at these storyboards.

THIS SHOT, I can't shoot this shot,

you want.

WALT:

Why?

UBERTO:

Because they gots a window with a

dogs in it. You want me to "push

in." Or I can lose the shot.

WALT:

No you can't lose the shot. The

meaning of the film is in that shot.

UBERTO:

But, Wally, the window of the

firehut...

WALT:

I don't care. Fix it.

He goes into comfab with the costume designer.

WALT:

(of sketches)

You show Claire these sketches?

COSTUME DESIGNER

Yes.

WALT:

Did she throw up?

COSTUME DESIGNER

That isn't very nice.

WALT:

Oh, really, then why don't you sue

me in the World Court. Did she like

the costumes?

COSTUME DESIGNER

I can't tell.

WALT:

Why not?

COSTUME DESIGNER

She won't stop crying...

WALT:

(to an A.D.)

Find out when Marty Rossen's arriving,

get him a bunch of lilacs to send to

the broad.

FIRST A.D.

Town's out of lilacs.

WALT:

You go in her room, take the lilacs

from the water, dry them. Go buy

some cellophane, wrap em up, and get

a card from Marty.

(to costume designer)

What's her problem?

COSTUME DESIGNER

She doesn't want to bare her breasts.

WALT:

She doesn't want to bare her

breasts... What, in the "Nude

Scene...?" What are we paying her

three mil?

COSTUME DESIGNER

-- she's got 'religion.'

WALT:

Her religion bars her from fulfilling

her contr...

CAMERA follows Walt to the sound of crying.

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