State Fair Page #2

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In a melancholy way

That it might as well be spring

Margy!

- Hello, Margy.

- Hello, Harry.

No, I'm not mad.

I'm just disappointed.

Well, I'll see you when I get back.

Good-bye.

Gee, I wish I was going to

the fair with you tonight.

I'd rather be doing that

than anything I know.

- Oh, would you, Harry?

- Well, sure.

- Only I can't neglect my cows.

- Oh. Of course not.

- Say, I saw something today.

- What?

The sweetest bit of farmland

this side of Davenport.

I was thinking of puttin' a

bid in on it if you like it.

- If I like it?

- Well, sure.

You know I haven't made a plan since I was

12 years old that didn't include you.

- Got a house on it?

- Yeah, but it's too old.

- We'd have to build a new one.

- Oh, I like old houses.

It wouldn't fit in

with our kind of farm.

You know, I plan to do everything my

old man won't let me do on his place.

Scientific irrigation, electric

milking, separate hen roosts.

No horses. All tractor power.

- You see what I mean? Everything modern.

- But the house you live in...

It's gotta be the same. No

clapboard and shingle business.

There's a new kind of

plastic, prefabricated job.

I want you to see it.

Got the catalog at home.

- Is it pretty?

- Sure!

But what's more important,

it's termite-proof.

Wait till you see it. And they

tell you how to furnish it too.

No rugs or carpets.

They're just dust collectors.

- What's on the floor?

- Linoleum through the whole house.

Wait till you see the pictures. It's slick

and smooth and easy to keep clean.

Well, it's like every room

in the house was a bathroom.

- Sounds real cozy.

- Yeah, don't it, though?

- What I've always wanted.

- Oh, sure. It's the only way to live.

- Everything's sanitary.

- Sure.

- And if we had children...

- Oh, Margy!

I said if by any strange

chance we had children,

why, I could dress them

in cellophane rompers.

Say, I didn't know they had...

Life will just be ducky...

In our air-conditioned

patent-leather farmhouse

Plastic.

On our ultramodern scientific farm

We'll live in a streamlined heaven

And we'll waste no time on charm

No geraniums to clutter our veranda

Nor a single, little

sentimental thing

No Virginia creepers

Nothing useless

- What's the matter, honey?

- Oh, nothing.

Just restless, I guess.

Sure. I understand.

You like to travel.

Well, I figured we'd make a little

trip, California or Bermuda or...

if it was May, we could go to

Washington, see the cherry trees.

- A honeymoon?

- That's what.

I'd almost marry you

to make the trip, Harry.

No kiddin' now, Margy. What do

you say? What do you say?

Well, I won't say anything

just now, Harry.

- Well, after the fair, maybe?

- Maybe.

Wow!

Look at him, Marge!

Holy cow! Gets bigger

every time I see him.

Biggest boar in the world, I bet.

All depends on how you spell it.

Eleanor can't go.

- Where's your mincemeat, Ma?

- Right here between my feet.

- Is the top on tight?

- Certainly, it's on tight.

- Why?

- Oh, nothin'.

Just don't want the flavor

to escape, that's all.

- Hello, Miss Frake!

- Hello, there!

- How are you?

- Just fine.

We'll come see you as

soon as we get settled.

Yes, do that.

If Wayne doesn't come back soon to

take me around, I'm going by myself.

I do wish your father

would come to his breakfast.

If he'd rather stay with Blue

Boy than eat, well, let him.

But I've got

my whole day planned out.

Don't you know you can't

plan out a whole day?

- There's no such thing.

- I do it all the time.

You sound just like Harry. He thinks

you can plan out your whole life.

So you can.

Is that what he was

talking about yesterday?

Uh-huh.

Did you come to anything definite?

Uh-uh.

I don't know

what you're waiting for.

It would serve you right if Harry up and

married that Skidmore girl instead of you.

I almost hope he does.

Me too.

Step right up, ladies

and gentlemen.

Move in a little closer.

Don't be afraid.

Hurry, hurry! Play the game!

Three rings for a dime.

Prizes worth up to $20.

Positively no blanks. The prize

you win is the prize you get,

the prize you take away.

Don't any gentleman

want to try his skill?

Ain't nobody here

got the pioneer spirit?

I tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm goin' to put down three nice,

new, crisp one-dollar bills.

One here, one here, and one here.

Now, who will spend a dime

for three chances at $3.00?

Is that real money?

If you win 'em and you

don't like 'em, buddy,

I'll give you

a dollar apiece for 'em.

Hey, mister,

them hoops look mighty small.

- Do they fit over those things?

- Lots of people do it, sir.

- Lots of people do it.

- Yeah, I did it last year.

Remember me? I won a

pearl-handled revolver.

Well, now, there. You see?

Young Mr. Daniel Boone here

won a revolver off me

right at this very fair a year ago.

Bring down any grizzly bears

with that shootin' iron, sonny?

Tell you what I'll do with you.

I'll just give you three rings on

the house to start things off.

Three chances for nothing.

I can't win. I can only lose.

But I love the game.

Remember, young man, you're

enjoying the courtesy of the house.

Don't cost us money.

I just lost $2.00!

But I'm having fun.

I love the game.

Here, my boy. I want you

to have a fair shake.

That ring looks warped.

Try this one.

This one's all right.

Well, well, you all see

how easy it is.

- Who else wants to try?

- I'll try again. Here's a dime.

- Who else wants a chance at a big prize?

- Here, mister, here's my dime.

How about you, sir? You look

like you've got a good aim.

- Why, you got a customer.

- Give me three rings. Here's my dime.

He's trying to dodge the boy!

- All right, buddy. Here ya are.

- You didn't put any dollar bills back.

Ain't pearl necklaces and safety

razors good enough for ya?

Can't you enjoy the game

for the game's sake?

Are ya money mad?

Those prizes are all fakes, but I'll

win 'em anyway just to prove it.

Quite a character.

Step up, folks.

We're havin' fun here.

Just lost a pearl necklace,

but I'm laughing.

I love the game.

Why, the young man

is winnin' a fortune.

- Here you are, buddy.

- Look, pot metal molded in one piece.

What good's a vanity case

it won't even open?

Okay, fella, you had your fun.

Now, come on. Move along.

And those clocks,

they don't have any works.

What good are they?

Listen, kid, you know what

I'm payin' for this pitch?

- No. What?

- More dough than you'll ever see.

So you spend a dime,

take $3.00 in cash

and then try to tell the

public my prizes are no good!

Well, they aren't.

They're just a lot of junk.

Look, you, I've been nice

just long enough.

- Now, beat it, or I'll call a policeman.

- Why don't you?

- What's that?

- I said, why don't you call a policeman?

He's only trying to bluff you.

The law says

he's got to sell you

all the rings you want.

- Otherwise, you can close up his place.

- Oh, a smart dame, huh?

A law student. Now, you listen

to me, Arsenic and Glamour,

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