State Fair Page #7

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Oh, you think

Esmeralda's gone home.

No, she's just gone

out to be weighed.

Hampshire boars, get ready, please.

That's us, son. Come on. Get up.

Oh, don't act this way.

Esmeralda will be back.

She ain't gonna be judged

until after you win.

Come on, boy. Get up.

You hear that? That's the band.

They're playing for you, son.

You can't lay down on me now.

Oh, come on, fella, please.

Attention, please. Attention.

And now, ladies and

gentlemen, I have the honor

of introducing to you

a man whom you all know,

Congressman James A. Goodheart.

During this great day

of boar judging,

you have seen hundreds

of seemingly perfect boars

eliminated,

leaving only two contestants,

the junior champion

and the senior champion,

both perfect specimens

representing excellence

of breeding.

The judges realize the

importance of their decision,

for the boar

they decide is the better

will be acclaimed

grand champion boar

of this year's state fair.

Introducing the first contestant,

Whirlwind...

number 188.

Winner, junior champion boar.

Owner, Mr. R.C. Martin.

He's awful big, isn't he?

Blue Boy will outpoint him.

And now, for the second contestant,

introducing Blue Boy.

- Where's Dad?

- Yes, now what?

Where is he?

Introducing Blue Boy,

number 1494.

Winning senior champion boar.

Owner, Mr. Abel Frake.

Whoa, Blue Boy.

Whoa, Blue Boy. Whoa, Blue Boy.

Whoa, Blue Boy.

They didn't look at him

very long, did they?

They'll be back.

Blue Boy, get up. Get up on your

feet. The judges will see you.

Oh, this is terrible.

He'll lose sure.

Get up, Blue Boy. Blue Boy!

Come on, son. Get up. Son?

What's the matter with him?

Get him up.

- We can't judge him lying down.

- Come on, Blue Boy! Get up, will ya?

Blue Boy, come on!

Blue Boy, come on.

Come on, son. Get up.

Come on, Blue Boy.

Get up, will you?

Come on, Blue Boy. Come on.

Just a little tired, that's all.

Attention, please. Attention.

I have the honor to announce the winner

of this year's grand championship.

Hampshire boar, Blue Boy.

it gives me great pleasure.

Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- I'm so happy!

- Oh, Pa!

- Congratulations, Mr. Frake.

My, my. Whoever wrote this

must be a friend

of the Frake family.

"As Mr. Abel Frake

won the grand award,

"he was watched from the

grandstand by his charming wife,

"and talented and beautiful

daughter Marguerite."

- Come on, Wayne. It's getting late.

- Just a minute.

Say, you look mighty pretty tonight.

Is that a new dress?

- Uh-huh. Do you like it?

- Prettiest girl I ever saw.

Okay, I'm ready.

Not too late now. We wanna get

an early start in the morning.

Might be a little late. It's the

last night. So long, Dad.

- Bye.

- So long.

They look nice together,

don't they?

Hmm? What'd you say?

I said we had two lovely children.

Who said we didn't?

I wish Margy would make

up her mind about Harry.

Why? He won't run away.

He's one of those goody-goody boys.

I don't see anything

wrong with that.

You were a good boy

when I fell in love with you.

That's what you thought.

Well, since you're such a gay dog,

you'd better take me to the

midway tonight for a little fun.

- No, Ma, you're all tired out.

- Who said I was tired?

Say. Here's something interesting.

It's about that judge, the fella

that gave you the plaque.

It says here how he had a kind of seizure

afterwards, delirium tremens sort of.

"While Mr. Hippenstahl

was unconscious,

"he kept murmuring

something about mincemeat.

"Those nearby declared they could

smell brandy on his breath."

You fool.

Now, just for that,

you've got to take me out.

Oh, no, Ma.

I've got that nice

tired-out feeling.

- You and I are going to the fair.

- I've seen the fair.

You've seen the hog pavilion.

Are you going

to get out of that chair?

Now, Ma, I'm up.

Now go on in and change

your clothes. Go on.

I want some excitement.

I can hear 'em calling hogs

in the clear Ioway air

I can sniff the fragrant

whiff of an Ioway rose

You've got Ioway in your heart

I've got Ioway in my hair

I've got Ioway in my ears

and eyes and nose

Oh, I know all I owe

I owe Ioway

I owe Ioway all I owe

and I know why

I am Ioway born and bred

And on Ioway corn I'm fed

Not to mention

her barley, wheat and rye

I owe Ioway for her ham

And her beef and her lamb

And her strawberry jam

And her pie

I owe Ioway more

than I can ever pay

So I think

I'll move to Calif om-i-ay

- What a shame

- What a shame

You'll be good and gosh

darn sorry when you go

- Don't I know

- When you leave your native state

You'll be feeling far from great

You'll be good and gosh

darn sorry when you go

I'm a seed

Of Ioway grain

You're a breeze

That Ioway blew

I'm a drop

Of Ioway rain

You're a drip of Ioway dew

Oh, I know all I owe

I owe Ioway

- I owe Ioway all I owe and I know why

- Ioway

I am Ioway born and bred

And on Ioway corn I'm fed

Not to mention

her barley, wheat and rye

I owe Ioway for her ham

And her beef and her lamb

And her strawberry jam

And her pie

That's right.

I owe Ioway more

than anyone should owe

So I think I'll start

in owing Idaho

All together.

- What a shame

- What a shame

- You'll be crying like a baby when you go

- Don't I know

When I leave my native heath

With my lip between my teeth

I'll be bawling like a booby

when I go

You're a seed

Of Ioway grain

You're a breeze

That Ioway blew

I'm a drop

Of Ioway rain

You're a drip

Of Ioway dew

Oh, I know all I owe

- I owe Ioway

- I owe Ioway

- I owe Ioway all I owe and I know why

- I owe Ioway

I am Ioway born and bred

and on Ioway corn I'm fed

- Not to mention her barley, wheat and rye

- Barley, wheat and rye

I owe Ioway for her ham

And her beef and her lamb

- And her strawberry jam and her pie

- Pie, pie, pie, pie

- I owe Ioway more than anyone should owe

- Oh

So I think I'll start

in owing Idaho

Better stay

You'll be good and gosh

darn sorry if you go

Don't I know

When you leave your native state

You'll be feeling far from great

You'll be good and gosh

darn sorry when you go

I owe Ioway for her ham

and her beef and her lamb

And her strawberry jam and her pie

I owe Ioway more

than I can ever pay

So I think I'll move

to Californ-i-ay

I-O-W! I-O-W! I-O-W! I-O-W-A!

Hooray! Ioway! Yea!

What do you think of this

imitation champagne, Ma?

First time I ever tried it,

and I love it.

It's as good as that

French champagne any day.

- Did you ever taste French champagne?

- No.

Who's that little runt?

- Hmm?

- What's he grinning at?

That's Mr. Hippenstahl,

the pickle and mincemeat judge.

Oh. Oh!

Well, that explains it. He's drunk!

- Quiet, Pa.

- Come on, Ma.

- Let's get out on the midway.

- All right.

Hey, buddy! I wanna thank you for the

plug you gave that song last night.

It's all set with Tommy Thomas for Emily

to sing it in Chicago tomorrow night.

- Chicago?

- Yeah. That's their next date,

the Palmer House.

I'm going with them

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