Step Dogs Page #3

Well every time we take a step,

I hear footsteps behind me.

Yeah, they're my footsteps.

I'm behind you!

Well how would I know that!

I can't see anything.

I dropped my flashlight.

You dropped your flashlight?

Where did you drop your flashlight?

If I knew where I dropped my flashlight,

I'd have a flashlight now wouldn't I?

What is wrong with you?

I don't know!

Would you just go?

God.

Nice recon mission.

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

There was something out there.

Thanks for getting me in trouble.

You know I don't know what I

was thinking listening to you.

What, now you don't believe me?

You got me all freaked out for nothing.

The Sheriff was right; You're

just looking for attention.

Wooee! I would not go in

there if I were you.

Hey stinky! Woah!

Good morning!

Wakey wakey!

Eggs and bacy!

Well butter my biscuits,

what is that on your face?

It's a sleeping mask.

Well sleeping time's over.

We've got work to do!

Work?

Have you lost your mind?

Come on kitty cat!

Shake a leg!

What is this work you speak of?

Hey! I asked you a question!

Hey, did you hear that noise last night?

Well that was louder than a

mustard truck and tractor pull!

Somebody was out here

causing some kind of ruckus.

What was it?

One of those skunk things?

No, no.

It was like a people smell.

Is this a habit of yours?

Chasing every scent that

catches your nose?

I'm a dog!

It's what I do!

I'm also a parttime wedding

photographer.

What's that thing?

That there's a flashlight.

I think someone was out here

last night with that flashlight

and must have dropped it.

Let's go check out the rest

of the forest.

Come on.

Om.

Om.

Woah. What are you doing?

Meditating.

It aligns the chakras and allows

the energy to flow freely.

Go and eat.

I made you a hearty petit dejeuner.

That's French for breakfast.

It's on the counter.

Bacon.

Please let there be bacon.

Ugh! Oatmeal?

Mmm! Oatmeal!

Let me guess.

Everyone in Hollywood eats this stuff.

Yeah! It's really good for you!

Sausages are good.

Bacon would be better.

Eww.

Major artery cloggers.

I'm trapped in healthy paradise.

Guys I hate to be oppressive

and act like The Man,

but after last night's escapades,

I think you two need to keep busy today.

Why doesn't Lacey keep busy?

It was her fault.

Pointing fingers doesn't solve anything.

But you know what does?

Good oldfashioned hard work.

There's snow out there

that needs to be shoveled

and wood that needs chopping.

You're going to at least help us, right?

Nope!

Don't think of this as work.

Think of it as getting back

in touch with the Earth.

More like getting back in touch

with wildlife poop.

Come on, kitty cat!

Shake a leg!

Two men.

Size 11 shoes.

Driving a van.

Wait! A white van.

And if I'm not mistaken... yep.

They had Big Al's chili last night.

Come on. They went this way.

Ahem.

You can't work in those clothes.

What, do you expect me to wear

gumboots and overalls?

Kind of, yeah.

If you're dressed like that,

you might as well be

on a reality show.

Huh.

Uhhuh.

Uhhuh.

What do you see?

They're really far away.

Is that how you're using the binoculars?

Yes.

You need to turn them around.

I thought so.

Yeah okay good.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Okay, what do you see?

The boy.

The boy is working out back.

Okay, good.

Alright good.

Now what else? What else?

Uh.

The girl just came outside!

Take it easy! Take it easy!

Deep breath.

I'm really excited.

No, no, deep breath.

You're hyperventilating.

Okay we need to just... shhh.

Shh shhh shhh.

Why do your fingers smell like ham?

I had a great idea.

Why let this great outfit go to waste?

This has a video camera and

you can tape me doing work!

I'll post it on the internet

and it will be hilarious.

My own reality show.

Okay, rolling.

Make sure to say lots of funny

remarks and stuff.

You got it.

Hi, I'm Lacey and this is my show.

I'm shoveling snow

which is something a Hollywood

princess would never do.

Let me show you all about my life.

Sorry.

Okay, uh, tell you what.

I'm going to go get

another shovel or axe,

and I'll talk to you later okay?

Okay. I'll keep going.

Yeah, whatever.

As you can see, this is

way harder than it looks.

Okay the boy is heading into the woods.

Okay. Alright.

There's just the lady in the house.

We go in, we plant the bugs,

we find the safe,

we retreat, we come

back for the main show

when everyone's out of the house.

Yes!

Wait, doesn't the girl know you?

Won't she recognize you?

No no. Don't worry about that.

I got that covered.

Yeah.

Hi there ma'am.

Uh, we're here to check gas lines.

We've got a work order.

They need to be checked.

Is there a problem?

Oh no no no, nothing at all.

It's standard procedure.

Although I mean this time

of year, gas line goes,

the whole place could

go up in a fiery blaze!

Oh my.

Yeah, fire, smoke everywhere.

It's alright ma'am.

Like he said, it's just routine.

Routine, yeah.

A routine.

Alright.

But could you keep the noise

to a minimum?

I'm meditating.

Oh.

Mediwhating?

Meditating?

Contemplating the infinite.

Counting the what?

OUCH!

It doesn't matter.

We've got work to do.

Stop elbowing me!

Stop asking stupid questions.

It's alright ma'am.

He's on a coop program

from the local infirmary.

He was severely neglected as a child.

It's okay.

Of course.

Come on, dear.

After you, after you.

What a wonderful house you have here.

It's very... a lot of wood.

I smell something.

O.

M.

G.

I think my country nose is developing!

Cassie, wait!

That there is not what you think it is.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay, I've planted the bugs

in the bedroom.

Okay, I've got the downstairs covered.

You go outside.

Alright.

D'oh!

Ow!

Ahh!

Sorry pickles.

Dynamite.

Uh, Cassie.

I think you're sniffing up

the wrong tree there.

Back off, country.

I think I've got this covered.

Uh, okay then.

I'll just go ahead and leave you to it.

Yep, just what I thought.

It looks like the city nose

outdid the country nose!

You're busted buddy.

You're busted big time.

Don't turn your back on me!

Oh!

Eww!

Oh!

That's just a shame.

You think you can crack that or what?

Oh yeah I can crack this.

I can crack this like a guy

who just who cracks crackers over soup.

He eats the soup while he's

cracking... the safe... uh...

Once again, that's not an actual saying.

Ah'choo!

Sorry, just it's pretty dusty down here.

You want me to do it now?

It'll take about 15 minutes.

No, not right now.

Too risky right now.

Not now.

It's like my Dad always says.

There's not time like the President.

No, see, it's present.

No present like the President?

That doesn't make any sense!

AH'CHOO!

Hello?

I thought you boys might be thirsty.

Oh! Hot chocolate!

That's very very very nice of you.

I think I've discovered

the meaning of the term

backbreaking work.

Why didn't you warn me it was a skunk?

You smell worse than a

bathroom on a shrimp boat!

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