Stepfather II Page #2

- Where's the basement?

- There is no basement.

ssoo

ls that a problem ?

My last house had a basement workshop.

l like to work with my hands.

l understand. A lot of people use their garage.

Do you specialise in your practice, Gene?

The family.

Family guidance types of problems.

l find that everything in life

begins or ends with the family.

One way or another.

- lt seems like a nice neighbourhood.

- Mm.

You couldn 't ask for a better neighbourhood.

l should know. l live right over there.

All by yourself?

MISS GRAYLAND:
Actually, I have a son.

Oh, Todd, what did l tell you

about riding your skateboard in the house?

- l didn 't know you were home.

- l didn 't say it was OK when l'm not at home.

Park it, mister, hm?

Where are you going?

To my room.

l was hoping that you and l

could have a little celebration .

- A 1 6-inch pizza wih the works

- What are we celebrating?

l sold two houses and leased a third.

High five for Mom.

- That's great, Mom.

- Mm.

Then l went down to Dell Pharmacy

and l bought up

every last baseball card that they had.

There's got to be a Pedro Guerrero

in there someplace, right?

The Dodgers traded Guerrero.

Oh.

ln Washington State the manhunt continues

Puget Sound police are still on the lookout

for escaped family killer Jerry Blake

Blake who was serving tie

for the grisly murder of a Seattle family

escaped from a psychietric hospial a week ago

So far the police have found no clues

Turning to weather

Here in the Southern Californie area

we're still going to have

a 20-30% chance of showers

which will probably give way

to a warming trend by the weekend

By tomorrow i will be a comfortable 57

What do l look for in a man ?

Whoosh!

( Giggles) l look for

a luxury automobile a trust fund

a platinum American Express card

lntelligence

a sense of humour a four-carat rock

l am wih this gentleman

that l've been seeing for a while

and things are progressing in a nice direction

and l'm about to explain that erm

l use a diephragm and

(Deletes name)

Of course any man l date

has to understand that my career comes first

l haven 't worked all these years

just to throw that away on some guy

WOMAN :
On Sundays

we usually unplug the phone

That way Jake and me are left alone

Quality time between a husband and wife

is very important, Sally.

Anyways, this last Sunday,

being Jake's birthday an ' all,

he wanted something special with his present.

And what was that?

He wanted me to hum a song.

Well, as they say,

''Music soothes the savage beast.''

Not Jake.

lt gets him all hot and bothered,

especially show tunes.

- Show tunes?

-Yeah this week l was supposed to learn Cats

l tried telling Jake

l'd been running around all week.

What with errands

and planning the Church social,

l din 't have tie to learn the tunes

Well, couldn 't you just buy him the record?

lt isn 't the same, Dr Clifford.

l gotta hum the songs.

Well, l can 't blame a man

for taking pride in his wife's voice.

lt isn 't exactly my voice Jake's so interested in .

What do you mean ?

Jake likes me to hum when l...

You know. (Giggles)

No, Sally, l'm afraid l don 't.

He likes me to hum when l...

..when l kiss him down below.

(Woman sniggers)

(Women cough)

Well...

Do you know why he makes you do that?

No, but if you hum a few bars, l can fake it.

Carol, you're very quiet.

This is a...

lt's all very new to me.

l'm not sure where to begin .

Well, begin at the beginning.

My husband...Philip...

He's a dentist and...

- l thought you were divorced.

- He ran away with his 22-year-old hygienist.

- What about the ones who stay, like yours?

- What about my husband?

Well he's a perv

l should know l deliver his mail

- Subscribes to every porn mag under the sun .

- Ladies...

l beg your pardon ?

lt's true, l swear. All of his magazines

come in plain brown -paper wrappers.

CLlFFORD:
Madeleine please

Matty.

To my friends.

Carol, you were saying?

Phil left erm...a little over a year ago.

l knew that it was coming.

So l've learned how to roll

wih the punches since then

But Todd?

That's my son .

lt's really hit him hard.

And where do your thoughts take you?

MATTY:
Well, what do you think?

CAROL:
Think of what?

You know! Dr Gene.

- lt's just the first session .

- Oh, come on . This is Matty you're talking to.

l saw you getting the hands-on treatment.

He likes you .

You are starting to imagine things again .

Personally, l wouldn 't blame you

for jumping his bones.

Koop yo uu rr vo co deow nn

What's the matter? Are you afraid to start dating?

No.

Forgot how?

lf it's meant to happen , it'll happen .

Need some help?

- Hi.

- Hi.

lf you're not careful and you back up over one

of these, you can say goodbye to your rear axle.

lf it wasn 't for frozen dinners, l might never eat.

Do you want to know the secret to cooking?

Yeah.

You find someone else to do it.

That was great.

And there's plenty of moo-shu pork left.

Thanks. l'm full.

- Todd?

- Can l be excused?

- Don 't you want your fortune cookie?

-No, you can have it.

See you , slugger.

He's a nice boy.

Thank you .

(Door closes)

So...when did you decide to be a shrink?

Oh, excuse me. A psychiatrist.

When l was younger.

l realised that the family

was the heartbeat of this country,

and that sometimes

when families have problems...

(Thud)

(Dog barks outside)

..they need a helping hand.

(Thud)

Todd.

Excuse me.

- l'm supposed to stop right?

- Your mother would appreciate it.

Let me show you something first.

When you side-arm the ball,

you never know where it's gonna end up.

When you throw it overhand,

it's like pitching on a straight line.

Here. You try.

That's it.

That's i Straight

Just give us a minute here.

You wanna try it?

No. Hit it like you mean it.

Todd, be careful.

Don 't worry so much. Boys will be boys.

l mean , l was.

You were?

- Yeah.

- Mm-hm?

Lean in . Put your hand

just behind his right shoulder

Lean into hi a litle bi more

One

two, three.

BOTH:
Cheese.

- Pertect

Home sweet home.

So, anyway, after l took the Rorschach's

and the Wexler adult-type perception scale,

l took this er thematic intelligence test

lt was pretty bleak

l mean , bottom of the curve.

- You know?

- Uh-huh.

MATTY:
Beyond the bottom of the curve

And l was really disappointed

There aren 't too many tests like that

that you can screw up

Well, maybe you'll do better next time.

ow ??

What?

How am l gonna do better?

lt's not like l was taking a math test or anything.

A person only has so much

thematic intelligence right?

l mean , perhaps if you take it

in a better frame of mind.

Sure.

SALLY:
Doctor ?

l'm sorry. We're gonna have to cut this session

short. l'm a little under the weather.

Sorry

- Hope you start feeling better.

- Thank you .

(Chatter)

l hope he's not going to charge us

for this session

Er, doc, can l ask you something?

Of course, Matty.

Did you hear anything that l said in there?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes