Stepmom

INT. RACHEL'S BEDROOM - EARLY MORNING

A billowy white screen. An alarm clock BLARES. As MAIN TITLES

BEGIN, the lovely sleeping face of RACHEL KELLY rolls into frame.

Then out of it. Alarm keeps BLASTING. Back she comes, pulling the

sheets OVER her head. Motionless now, as we hear...

... the DEAFENING SILENCE of the alarm shutting off. A beat.

Rachel SITS BOLTS UPRIGHT. LEAPS out of the room. From the back

we see that she's dressed only in a pair of men's boxers.

She makes it halfway down the hall, does a U TURN back into the

bedroom, frantically YANKS a robe hanging from the door, taking the

wall hook WITH her. She FLINGS her robe on as she RUNS down the

hall, wall hook STICKING OUT of her back. BURSTING INTO...

INT. BEN'S ROOM - EARLY MORNING

RACHEL:

Ben! You overslept again damn it!

The room looks like a 6 (but I'm almost 7) year old exploded.

Posters of MAGICIANS on all the walls. Rachel darts about the room

mismatching the clothes she forgot to arrange the night before.

RACHEL:

Get Up Get Up Get Up!

The LUMP under the cover doesn't move.

RACHEL:

Ben you're late. I'm serious. I'm

wearing a very serious face. Don't

make me start counting ONE...

No movement. Rachel tugs the sleeve of a shirt hanging on a chair,

and out comes a magician's bouquet of FLOWERS.

RACHEL:

TWO.

She pulls a dirty handkerchief out of the pocket of the shirt --

it's an endless MAGICIAN'S HANDKERCHIEF.

RACHEL:

Don't make me say three I'm about to

say three.

(a beat, then)

Three!

She RIPS the covers off and a blow-up DINOSAUR sleeps in Ben's

place.

RACHEL:

Ben I'm not kidding around. You make

yourself appear this instant!

A WHITE BUNNY saunters across her toes. Rachel SCREAMS -- then

gathers her wits and searches under the bed -- under the bureau --

she opens the closet doors and shoving clothes aside.

RACHEL:

You might think this is funny but this

is actually NOT funny.

Unseen by Rachel, six-year-old BEN sits, perched on the highest

closet shelf, knees under his chin, holding his breath. His eyes

gleeful as Rachel frantically closes the closet door.

INT. HALLWAY - EARLY MORNING

Rachel hops over the Bunny, navigates through strewn toys and books

STUBBING her baby toe. She limps in agony past a big picture of

the kids with their daddy and heads towards a door with a KEEP OUT

EVERYONE! sign.

RACHEL:

(bellowing)

ANNABELLE! WAKE UP!

ANNABELLE'S BEDROOM - EARLY MORNING

ANNABELLE, 10 years old, sits on the edge of her bed, fuming, all

of her limbs crossed. She holds up a filthy purple tee shirt.

ANNABELLE:

You forgot to wash my purple shirt. I

told you a hundred times it was Purple

Day at school today.

RACHEL:

I didn't forget. I was up all night

thinking about it and I concluded you're

too special to look like everyone else.

(she grabs an orangey

red tee shirt)

Orange Red. That's your color. Few

can carry it off. Now please. Help

me find your brother.

ANNABELLE:

You lost Ben?!

RACHEL:

Of course not. Does he look lost to

you?

(big breath)

BENNNNN!!!

INT. SUBURBAN EXTREMELY WELL-STOCKED KITCHEN - EARLY MORNING

Rachel, smoking a cigarette and drinking a diet coke, FLINGS open

pantry doors, closet doors -- looking for Ben -- attempting to put

stone hard butter on toast at the same time. She glances at the

clock -- 7:
55. Oh dear. Annabelle sits at the table, in a grumpy

orangey red mood. Rachel hands her what was once a piece of toast.

ANNABELLE:

No. I told you. I like apple butter

not butter butter.

RACHEL:

(hands her an apple)

Here.

ANNABELLE:

Never mind. I'll just eat my lunch.

RACHEL:

(forgot)

I'm almost done making it.

(to the non-existent Ben)

Alright Ben -- you deal with the tardy,

you write yourself a note, your daddy

told you he had an important case this

morning and he had to leave early and

we were AAAAGGGGHHHH!

She has opened a cupboard with a Lazy Susan that turns revealing

BEN sitting there. Rachel screams AGAIN!

RACHEL:

Oh my God. That is so not funny. You're

late. You're really late. Now get out

here and have some cereal.

BEN:

No.

RACHEL:

Fine! Eat in the cupboard.

She hands him a bowl of sugared cereal -- puts two spoonfuls of

instant coffee in Barney cup, and sticks it under the faucet.

BEN:

No! Cocoa Puffs on Top -- Fruit Loops

on the bottom.

RACHEL:

Fine.

Rachel grabs the bowl, turn it UPSIDE DOWN on the table reversing

the order of the cereal. She SWEEPS it back in the bowl and

quickly hands it back to him, the phone RINGS THROUGHOUT...

BEN:

You touched it.

RACHEL:

Then have a donut --

BEN:

No.

RACHEL:

Alright starve.

ANNABELLE:

I'm gonna beep daddy at work.

RACHEL:

He's badgering a witness. Eat.

BEN:

But you told us to starve.

RACHEL:

(picking up phone)

Hello?...Duncan...The Ad Agency's

already there?...I'm out the door...

(Ben flings a fruit loop

at her)

Ben! Knock it off!

(into phone)

It's gonna go beautifully...

(another fruit loop)

Damn it Ben --

Rachel runs around absentmindedly loading out leftover pizza,

Hoho's, and Chips. She glances at the clock again -- 8:00.

ANNABELLE:

You swore. You owe me a quarter. Did

you remember my egg carton? I told

you I needed my egg carton for seed

planting today.

RACHEL:

Absolutely Duncan I'm on top of

everything.

Rachel takes the eggs from the fridge, and dumps them -- accidentally

missing the sink. They SHATTER onto the floor. She hands the empty

carton to Annabelle.

RACHEL:

...EGGzactly. I'm putting on my coat --

(she hangs up, panicked)

We are late. We are seriously late. Which

means Mister Ben we've got to get you

dressed --

BEN:

No!

Ben races away but Rachel LUNGES And CATCHES him. He wiggles in

her arms as she struggles to change his clothes. Just as she gets

his bottoms off she drops his clothes in the pile of gooey eggs

when we hear a loud KNOCKING at the kitchen door. Holding a half

naked Ben in her arms, Rachel looks up at...

JACKIE HARRISON. An immaculately dressed, intimidatingly intel-

ligent, utterly beautiful woman staring at her with extreme

disapproval.

ANNABELLE AND BEN

Mommy!

Annabelle and Ben RACE into their mother's arms like little angels.

Jackie shoots a fiercely protective glare at Rachel. They LOCK

eyes. Enough wattage to light up all of Manhattan.

EXT. RACHEL'S LOFT, SOHO - MORNING

Jackie and the kids exit Rachel's building, onto a bustling Soho

street. The kids clamber into the double-parked Volvo wagon.

Jackie, still pissed, climbs behind the wheel. Drives off.

INT. JACKIE'S VOLVO STATION WAGON - EARLY MORNING

Jackie drives the children down a tree-lined street in Englewood,

New Jersey. Ben is banging Jackie's sunglasses case against the

window.

JACKIE:

...it's really not so bad Annabelle -- Red

and Blue make purple.

ANNABELLE:

(yes she does)

I don't care.

JACKIE:

I know you don't, but if you had, chrom-

atically you are in the purple family.

Jackie fishes through her purse. Finds a toy airplane for Ben. He

stops banging her glasses case, starts banging the plane.

BEN:

Why does Rachel wear Daddy's underpants?

Doesn't she have underpants of her own?

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