Stolen Summer

[ Clicking ] [ Beeping ] Woman: Children,

experience tells me that some of you will forget

the lessons I have taught. No. This summer,

take time to reflect on your past year

in the second grade... [ Computer game beeps ]

Yes! ...and how you can make

third grade better. No! Mr. O'Malley,

do you disagree with me? No, Sister Leonora Mary.

I agree. [ Children giggle ] Woman: Pete! Boys! Come on, let's go! Mom... Yes, honey? I told them to be ready

by 9:
20, but they just don't listen. Another comeback stopped! Reggie Jackson stinks. Boys! We gotta get going.

Mom's gonna freak. Get down here right now! Well, what should we

tell her? You couldn't find

your belt. Hold on! Why aren't you

going to church? What are you,

a detective? Why aren't you

in the car? Come on, let's go!

God doesn't wait! It's killing me I can't be

with them at church. My most cherished moments have been with you kids

at church. Screaming brats. Why are you late? Pete couldn't find

his belt. Mm-hmm.

Why are you late? Seamus lost my belt. [ Baby cries ] Hey...

Why didn't you guys make us

wait a little longer? You know how I hate

being late to mass. Katie, your toys

are everywhere. You know what? God gives you

168 hours a week. You'd think you'd give him

one back. Is that too much to ask?

[ Sighs ] I've been ready

for three hours. Oh, shut up,

you kiss ass. Come here. Come here.

No. Come here. Honey,

I'm not gonna hit you. I just want to tell you,

you shouldn't talk like that. Why am I the only one

that gets hit? [ Computer game beeps ]

Touchdown! I'm crushing you again. [ Baby crying ] Here, that one, too. Maybe the teddy bear

will shut her up. I'm gonna shut you up,

too, you little jerk. "C." [ Beeps ] [ Crying continues ] Pete:

Growing up Irish-Catholic, Heaven and Hell

are talked about as if they're

my next-door neighbours. [ Computer game beeps ]

Touchdown! And my mom's job... Goddamn it.

...is to lovingly guide us

towards the right path. Lord's name in vain.

Come here. Come here, mister. Agh!

Don't you talk like that,

you little son of a b*tch. We're on our way to church,

for Christ's sake. Morning.

It's good to see you. [ Bell tolling ] Okay.

Alright, honey. Okay, it's alright. [ Screams, cries ] Alright. Happy Sunday,

everybody. Morning, son. [ Screaming ] Okay. Thank you, dear. Watch him. Get in there.

You're going to Confession. Right over here,

right here, right here. Pete: Unfortunately,

nobody knows the exact path to Heaven. My mom says

that's why we go to church -- to pray to Jesus

for answers. But he just hangs there

silently, looking down at me,

seeing everything. That can't be good. Hey, Mom...

Yes, dear? You think doing my chores will be enough to keep me

out of Hell? What'd you break? Peter Edward O'Malley,

look at me, honey.

What's going on? I think that

Sister Leonora Mary thinks

that I'm going to Hell. And why do you think

she thinks this? Well, she sort of said it

a lot this year.

[ Telephone rings ] Maybe you can do something

to prove to Sister Mary that you're going straight to

Heaven -- do something good. Hello?

Oh, hi, Jackie. Well, what can I do

to prove it to her? Honey, just be yourself,

obey the nuns, and you'll be fine, okay?

You're a good boy. Hello.

Well, you know how I feel. If you can't say

something good, you just

don't say anything. But, you know,

she is kind of loose. Hmm, what do you think

of Sister Leonora Mary? Sister Big Bags?

She's alright. Way easier

than Sister Gloria. Why? She keeps telling me

I'm going to Hell. Yeah.

She's big on Hell. Well, how can I prove to her

that I'm not? Don't worry about it.

Tomorrow's the last day

of school. I know, but let's say

I wanted to. How would I do that? Well, in religion class, I did this report

on St. Paul. He's this guy

that after Jesus died, he kept going around

trying to convert people

into Christianity. He was on a quest. Convert people

that weren't Catholic? Yeah, there were a lot

back then, like the Jewish people

and the Romans. Jewish people? Yeah, converting Jewish people

was major. The Romans...I don't know,

maybe even the Greeks. Everyone. Did it work?

They made him a saint. You think they might

make me a saint? [ Chuckling ] Yeah,

that'd keep you out of Hell. But they already got

a St. Peter. [ Bell rings ] See you at church... and next year

in the third grade. You may go. [ Indistinct conversations ] Mr. O'Malley, may I speak

to you for a moment? Yes, Sister Leonora Mary? How many times have I had

to pull you by your ears to the front of the class

and give you the ruler? A lot. Probably too many times,

don't you think? I don't enjoy having to do that,

you know. I think this is

an important summer for you. This is the summer where you can choose to keep

following the devil's way or create a new path

towards Jesus. Now, which path

do you want to take? The Jesus path. Good. I expect to see a difference

in you next year. Oh, you will,

Sister Leonora Mary. I've got a plan --

a quest. Good. You may go. Enjoy your summer.

I know you will. Oh, um...do you know where

I can find a temple? First game of the summer,

Pete. Come on, Seamus,

I'm starting my quest. Boy: Who's got the ball?! Hey, Kevin! So you're actually going

to the temple? Yeah. You know, this whole thing's

kind of weird -- you going there...

the quest. Yeah. Well, at least

you know it's weird. See ya. Man: Well, keep up

the good work, Jason. I will. You're gonna make your parents

very proud. Thank you, Rabbi Jacobsen. See you in a couple days. Yes.

Bye-bye, now. How you doing today? I'm great. Thanks. Good. What's that thing

that you have

on the top of your head? Oh, it's, uh, called

a yarmulke. It doesn't really

block the sun, does it? No. Uh, but it does block

bald spots. Whoa.

It can cover bald spots. My old Uncle Jim

could have used that. [ Chuckling ] Uh-huh. So, you, uh...casing the joint

for a heist? What? [ Chuckles ] What can I do you for? Jewish people go here,

right? Uh-huh. I'm trying to see if I can help Jewish people

get to Heaven. Ah, one noble endeavour. A quest. A noble quest. How may I be

of assistance? I just wanted to check out

the temple, but there's no bike rack. Tell you what -- why don't you

let me help you find a place for the bike,

and I'll show you around? Well, thanks. And that way, when you

and the rest of the gang

get together, you'll know

where the safe is. What gang and what safe? You know, for the heist. Pete: No cross? Rabbi:

Uh, no. No cross. I find the cross

fun to look at. Sometimes I think about

climbing up the wall and unscrewing the screws,

and letting him go. Mass goes faster that way. Uh-huh. You should really think

about putting one in here. I will give that

some thought. So, what are you thinking? I'm thinking that this is

where my quest starts. Okay. Well, if I can be of any

assistance, don't hesitate. My office is right through

those doors there. I'd show you around

a little bit more, but I gotta get back

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