Stop the Wedding Page #4

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are not all that inspiring.

I think maybe it's time

to hang up the Hollywood hat

and try something

a little simpler.

I am determined

to get some dirt

under your father's

perfectly manicured fingernails.

Not too much,

not too much.

Have you tried being

the outdoorsy type yet?

Without a stunt double?

That was a good one.

I have not,

but I do think that I can

accomplish anything

with belle by my side.

Sure, my dad wants to

hang up his hat

and become grizzly Adams

when the offers

aren't coming in,

but that's just in theory,

not practice.

Wait till belle takes him

out on the hiking trails.

It's like her sanctuary.

She's all business

out there.

Have you seen

her paintings?

No, I haven't,

but that sounds like

torture to my father.

He likes spas

and air conditioning

and indoor plumbing.

He'll hate her life.

Well...

Maybe we should let him see.

He thinks he'll love it.

We could be wrong.

After all,

the great outdoors

are beautiful.

Not to

mention invigorating.

The fresh air

filling your lungs.

All those adorable

little creatures?

So, we're going

hiking tomorrow?

What an excellent idea.

I'm so glad

you thought of it.

Your break.

Three, two, one.

Not bad.

I want that part.

Come on, go get it.

I mean, you know

I'm perfect for it.

It reads like

it was written for me.

Yes, this is

my real hair.

I... you...

Just go get it.

Hey, where are

your hiking boots, Sean?

Oh...

Right here.

Fresh off the rack.

Clay has the rest of

your survival gear.

Always looking out for him.

Well, somebody

has to.

Lucky me.

Well, I guess it's

a perfect day to be hiking.

It's also a perfect day

to be employed.

Please try not

to kill him.

No, no, I'm taking him up

to my favorite place

in the whole world.

Oh, this will be so great.

Yeah, remember

the "don't kill him" part.

Yes, sweetheart.

Isn't it

incredible out here?

"Incredible" is not

the word that comes to mind.

Come on, dad,

we're going to climb that rock.

Come on, Clay,

I'll race you.

Clearly,

you've done this before.

Hey, hey,

we should slow down for them.

We're almost there!

Wait till you see this view!

Wow!

The hills are alive

with the sound of wheezing.

Hey, can we stop

at the sherpa station

and get some help?

It's a killer view

up here, dad.

Don't say, "killer"

at a time like this.

Breathe in

that air.

Crisp, clear, fresh.

Imagine this every

single day of your life..

It's like

living in a dream.

You're endangering

my life here.

He's very dramatic.

He's always

very dramatic, belle.

It's what he's good at.

I don't like heights!

I don't like being

this tall.

Where's the tram?

My kingdom for a funicular!

You're doing great,

sweetheart.

This is going so well.

Maybe I'll make that

conference after all.

Are those seagulls

or vultures?

They're just...

Careful, love!

I want to go home.

You hear that?

That's the sound

of trouble in paradise.

This is more my style.

You're good.

Come on. Get up.

All right, that's off

my bucket list, thank you.

Give me

your hand.

So, counselor,

why divorce?

It's a difficult

time for people,

and I help them

navigate it.

Yeah, I don't know,

the demise of

someone's relationship?

It just seems

so depressing.

See, I prefer putting

people back together.

Well, maybe by

breaking them apart,

I am putting them

back together.

Just individually.

Over here.

You can be alive

and yet be so miserable

that you're not

really living.

People are always

chasing a feeling.

Love puts you

on top of the world,

and then there's

that inevitable crash,

and boom,

you're right back

where you started.

See, and I've found

it's not so much love

as it is convenience,

or opportunity.

How many times

do I have to tell you

my aunt is not like that?

Probably a few more.

But we need

to stop this now,

before they move to L.A.

What do you mean?

Yeah, my dad told me

that they're going to sell

belle's house

and buy a ranch in Malibu.

His movie wraps

tomorrow.

All that's left is them

packing up everything

and then going to live

happily ever after.

I figured she might

go back with him,

but it never occurred to me

that she would sell our house.

Wait, belle's house

is your house?

My mom died

when I was three,

so belle

moved in with us.

Whoa.

That was pretty

selfless of her.

She gave up

so much for me,

which is why I have to

protect her now.

But that was our home.

Well, at least

you had a home.

When your father's

an actor,

home is a series

of random hotel rooms.

What about your mom?

She died

when I was 12.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

I don't think

he ever got over it.

It is beautiful,

thought, right?

I'll take your word

for that,

and I'll wait

and see the picture.

Home for me is...

Has become the operating room.

In the operating room,

I always know what to do.

I'm in complete control.

People talk about

being in control

like it's some

character flaw.

Right?

As if being reckless

makes life somehow

more worthwhile.

But I don't think that

we have anything to worry

about her moving away.

Look at him.

How you making out

there, dad?

I feel I am near death.

May history

remember me kindly.

Well, you'd better hope

another actor that's

more famous than you

doesn't die

on the same day,

'cause he'll take

top billing.

A fate worse than death!

Come on, you guys,

the tide's low.

I want to

show you something.

Oh, good, there's more.

All right,

come here, I'll pull you.

Come on, dad.

You got this.

Oxygen...

Paramedic.

Come on, old man.

Are you pulling him?

That's great.

There you go.

Break 'em up.

Belle seemed so at ease

on the trail today.

But, uh...

No offense intended,

you have a very limited

outdoor skill set.

Yeah.

You know, that's a long time

for an actor to be outside

with no hair and makeup.

I liked it, though.

I think I'll get

better at it.

You do, huh?

Uh-huh.

Well, I think the two of you

couldn't be any more different.

Well, you've probably heard

that opposites attract.

It wouldn't a bad idea

for you to find somebody

who expands

your horizons.

Hmm.

What about dating?

What was that

last girl's name?

Vivian. And no,

I'm not dating.

A lot of opportunists

out there, dad.

Guys like you and I,

we have to be careful.

Really?

That's kind of

a cynical overview, I think.

Why do you always think

that people have

a hidden agenda?

Well...

Because they usually do.

Oh...

You of all people

should understand that.

Nice shot.

It would be a shame

if a couple of unfortunate

romantic experiences

were to set you back.

I do believe

that there are some

great opportunities

out there

when you just keep

your mind open to it.

Open.

You know, speaking of "open,"

I noticed you don't

open your mail anymore.

Why not?

That's what we have Jake for.

You know, I come into town,

we get all kinds of

nice opportunities,

invitations, uh,

red carpet, black tie...

How does belle feel

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