Stories We Tell Page #7

but there was the fact

that there was a house

and a bunch of kids living in it

that would have kept her,

and I guess

she would have felt

that that was the right choice

for her children.

And maybe for her, too.

Maybe she still hoped

that her and Dad

would fall in love

again or something.

A few months after we had

first made contact in Montreal,

she phoned me and she told me

that she was pregnant,

and she said that she thought

that I was the father.

What she communicated to me,

what I got from her,

was almost a thrill.

So in terms of

the relationship with Michael

and the house, she was upset.

In terms of the relationship with me,

she was thrilled.

I thought that would help me

in my cause, in my pursuit.

I mean, quite apart

from the anticipation of a child,

I felt, well,

this is a quiver in my bow.

I mean, we have

more than an affair to deal with.

We have a child.

And when you were born,

she sent me that picture,

holding you as a tiny infant,

and then she sent me

a picture by yourself

when you were one year old.

Subsequently, business brought me

to Toronto quite frequently,

so I was there quite often,

and I would see Diane.

She would come to Montreal

reasonably often.

Diane would introduce me

to all her friends,

so our affair

was a pretty open thing,

because you need that, too,

and somehow you want that

in terms of a love affair.

You need witnesses.

You need witnesses

which sort of confirm you.

I think it was...

It was very discreet.

I don't think it was

really common knowledge.

I think there were a number

of people who knew,

but nobody ever talked about it.

I told her I would never

discuss it with anyone,

and I never did.

I promised,

and she was my buddy,

and there was no way

on God's earth

I was gonna talk about it.

I couldn't do that to her.

So there was

this strange situation

of an openness

of an ongoing affair,

which went on for,

I believe, a couple of years

in Montreal and in Toronto,

and yet no possibility

of it ever developing into anything more.

What became clear

at a certain point

was that you were gonna grow up

with Michael Polley and Diane,

and there was not only no point,

that it would be absolutely a mistake

to cast a shadow on that.

She operated

on all these levels.

She was loyal

on all these levels.

I think that she had

the strength and the ability

to keep all her loyalties going.

All of them.

The distance didn't help.

But on the other hand,

to some degree, it intensified it,

because there's

the longing that was involved,

and I think that we remained in love

for a very long time.

I remember

at Diane's funeral they said,

"Anybody can speak,

"so if you want to speak,

you can speak. "

"That," I thought,

would be very stupid.

"In what capacity I should speak?"

So I didn't.

When it was over,

I went to say my farewells

and good-byes to the family,

and I went to put my arms

around Michael,

and I felt that he froze in my arms,

that he was

uncomfortable with that.

That's what made me think

that perhaps Michael really knew,

perhaps she told him.

What?

Do you remember

meeting Harry there?

I don't think he was there.

Was he?

- Think so, yeah.

- Was he there?

Yeah.

No, I didn't meet him there.

I remember Anne Tait,

who was

the master of ceremonies.

She was speaking of Diane,

and then she said,

"And, you know,

sometimes Diane was a flirt,

but her heart belonged to Michael. "

On the way out

after the ceremony,

your Aunt Anne,

Michael's sister, said to me,

"You see, Harry?

Her heart really belonged to Michael. "

So that sort of put pay to my sense

of any further contact

with the Polley family.

If I ever had had

any sense that I should,

I figured I really better

back right off,

which I did,

but I found that very upsetting.

I found her dying upsetting,

then I found my inability

in those circumstances

to do a proper farewell

and to be part of it

something that I felt

bad about and regretted.

Whenever Harry spoke of Diane,

from the beginning, he mentioned

that she had had a daughter

as a result of their affair,

so it was always in the background,

but all those years

that he never saw you,

it was never discussed.

Whenever I'd see articles

about you or anything,

I'd say,

"Harry, did you see the article?"

just so that he'd be aware

of what was happening,

but the day when he went down

to meet you and came home,

it was like the world changed.

He was so happy he could have

a relationship with you,

so his whole world changed

after that cafe meeting with you.

Through all the years

that that never happened,

he never complained,

he never said, "I wish. "

I don't even think

he said it to himself.

He just...

"If it's not gonna happen,

"if I can't do anything about it,

"I don't see it.

"It does not exist. "

That's the way he lives.

And then you went

back to Toronto,

and we began almost

a frantic series of email exchanges

about continuing the encounter.

There was an intensity,

just really an incredible intensity

of affection, of love.

I mean, it was...

Having gotten to know you,

much of that has dissipated.

It's gone away, but...

But it just was really...

Hi, Harry.

It was great to meet you.

A complete pleasure

and quite an occasion.

I had no idea it would

be so eventful.

It was really just an afterthought

to ask you

about my mother's personal life.

It just came out of feeling

very comfortable with you

and thinking,

"Why not ask him what he knows?"

And then what a delight

to get so much information.

I hope we can stay in touch.

It was so great

to spend some time.

Now I'll watch

the documentary about you.

What a handy tool

in a situation like this

to have an educational DVD on your

previously unknown biological father.

Hilarious.

Making his way from communism

to commerce to culture,

Harry's many lives

sometimes feel

like the crossword patches

of a harlequin costume.

When I first met Harry,

he was a film producer,

and Lies My Father Told Me

had won Hollywood's Golden Globe

for Best Foreign Film.

The script by Ted Allan

was nominated for an Oscar.

Lies My Father Told Me

gave the fledgling

Canadian film industry

artistic and professional credentials.

Hello again, Sarah.

I confess our encounter

has stayed uppermost

in my consciousness, too.

The emotions are conflicting:

joy at discovery,

sweet memory obscured

by sadness,

and some concern

as to how this reasonable,

but unproven assumption might affect you,

as well as your family.

We really need to take some time out

to discuss this.

Meanwhile,

I suspect it would be prudent

not to broadcast

this putative discovery.

In that respect, you would

not be following in Diane's footsteps.

She was apparently

very pleased with the idea

and didn't hesitate

to share it with some others.

What is beyond dispute

is that we have

become close and loving friends.

Hi there.

I would love to discuss

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