Storks

1

For as long as can be remembered,

storks delivered babies

from their perch on Stork Mountain.

It was an honor and a privilege to serve.

It was our duty, our core belief,

the driving force of our very lifeblood.

Aw... Ow!

It wasn't always easy.

Oh...

This was our challenge.

This was our sacred duty.

No matter how tough or impossible

or brutal or harsh or inhumane or savage,

we would triumph over adversity.

Phew!

Gotcha!

Oh!

Hey.

- On your right.

- Left.

Bike lane.

Thank goodness we don't do that anymore.

There! Right there!

The problem was, we had the wrong cargo.

Our new phones!

Luckily, now, storks deliver

packages for Cornerstore.com!

- My dude!

- Oh, yeah!

Yo, Kevron! Lookin' good, my man!

Oh, I love this guy!

Perfect landing. Chiggy-check.

You're the man!

What? Millionth package? Not possible.

I thought I was only at 20.

Hey, Junior, are you gonna celebrate?

You know what? You're right.

I should celebrate.

What are you guys doing this weekend?

Are you guys free?

The wife and I

are celebrating another anniversary.

Got my kid's game this weekend.

Family reunion. The whole family's coming.

Oh. Just wanted to confirm.

That you were all busy.

I assumed you were all busy and you are.

So, if anything changes, let me know.

I maybe could get out of work.

Probably can't,

but let me know if you can.

Great job out there, brah!

Thanks, Pigeon Toady.

Check out my girlfriend.

- She's in Canada.

- Yeah-huh.

She migrated.

- She's not made up.

- Okay.

Look at her! Look at her!

- She exists, brah!

- That's great.

Hey, did you guys hear about Roger?

Ah!

Oh, my goodness. Are you okay?

What? Hey, brah. I say... What? Okay.

I tell you about my girlfriend?

Hey, boss wants to see you.

Uh...

Hunter wants to see me?

All right. Head in the game, Junior.

So, you're Hunter.

What do you do around here?

No, I hate that.

Hunter. Nice. To. Meet. You.

No, that's too robot.

Just say it normal. Just say it normal.

Here we go.

Nice to meet you!

What is wrong with me?

Junior.

Hunter.

You know why

I built my office entirely out of glass

even though birds can't see glass?

I do not.

Power move.

Eighteen years ago, I saved all storks

by getting out of babies

and into package delivery.

Now, this Monday at Storkcon, the board

will announce they're kicking me upstairs.

I'm going to be named Chairman.

Which means you are going to be named

boss.

Boss!

Cool, cool, cool. Very cool, very cool.

Now, look upon your domain

with your eyes wide open.

- Yeah.

- Wider.

I love it. Feels good.

How can you be boss

if you can't look at it?

If I go blind, it was worth it.

You know the hardest thing

about bein' boss?

Staring at the sun?

No, this is easy.

Whether to be like a friend boss

or a distant, weird boss?

Always be distant and weird.

What's the matter with you?

Sorry.

No, it's dealing with that.

The orphan Tulip?

I don't understand.

Do you know why

we stopped delivering babies?

Because there are so many

other ways of getting babies?

Yes. But that's not the whole story.

Eighteen years ago,

when we still delivered human infants,

a stork named Jasper

went crazy and tried to keep a baby.

Tulip's beacon broke.

Her address was destroyed,

so we could no longer deliver her.

My baby!

It was then I realized that

there was no future in baby delivery.

Now, the orphan Tulip has just turned 18,

which means we can finally liberate her

and return her to the human world.

But she's no trouble.

Oh, she isn't, is she?

Here's our profit chart.

- I love a good profit chart.

- Me, too.

Yeah!

The peaks are when Tulip is on vacation,

asleep or out with the flu.

The valleys are when she tries to help.

Cool. I will liberate her.

Consider her liberated.

And if she doesn't want to be liberated?

Fire her. I'm talking about firing her.

Really?

The only thing you need to do to be named

boss on Monday is liberate the orphan Tulip.

If I'm not being clear, I mean fire her!

Yes, sir. I am on it.

I have read between the lines

and heard you overtly.

Ow, ow, ow...

Excuse me! Orphan Tulip?

Junior?

You're talkin' to me?

Yes, Orphan Tulip!

No, it's just that you never talk to me.

Well, yeah, that's changing

starting today, Orphan Tulip.

Oh, "Tulip" is just fine.

"Orphan" hurts my heart.

I have so many questions to ask you!

Why don't you come down

and we can talk all day?

Okay. I will be down.

As will my friends.

We are going to fly right down.

What? No, no.

That's a quail, an emu, there's a chicken.

They cannot fly.

Yeah. Until now.

She's helping us achieve our dreams.

- That's right, Dougland.

- You know it.

It is still a personal victory

if you use the bucket.

Okay, we'll all not use the bucket!

Wait, what?

Ha-ha! Tulip doesn't fit in.

We're all the same and she's a weirdo.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's not nice. She's...

She's had a hard life.

Okay.

This is gonna be great, guys!

Countdown.

Three, two, one!

Oh.

It's working! We're flying!

Ho-ho! Whoa!

Yeah, yeah!

Yeah!

Enough of this, I wanna go fast!

No! Dougland, wait!

No, no, no!

This is the greatest day of my life!

I'm flying!

This is my moment!

- Dougland! No!

- Get out of my way!

Bad Dougland! No!

How could my dreams go so horribly wrong?

I got ya!

Okay.

I'm fallin'.

Oh, no! No! No, no, no, no, no!

- Uh...

- Oh, boy.

Oh. Oh, that's not so bad.

I got it. I got it. I got it! I got it!

I got it!

I'm sorry! Oh, I'm so, so sorry. Oh!

I don't fit in anywhere

and all I want to do is help!

Oh, boy.

Uh, Tulip, okay. I have news for you.

Before you finish,

for you to come to wish me

a happy birthday,

that's just the nicest, you know?

It's like a little rainbow.

So, thank you.

That's really nice.

But, oh, I'm sorry. I interrupted you.

- What were you gonna tell me?

- Uh...

Oh, boy.

I have wonderful news for you.

You have been liberated.

What does that mean?

Well, it means that you are fired.

- What?

- You're...

Are you okay?

Excuse me. You're...

You're fantastic!

Really?

Because I just blew up

most of the factory.

Oh, yeah.

What a twist! Um...

Well, it means...

Oh.

I'm putting you in charge

of your very own department.

You are the new head of Letter Sorting.

I didn't even know we still got letters.

We do!

- And now, you're in charge of them.

- Oh, yes! I will rock this!

You will rock this!

- Oh, yeah! Rock it hard!

- Gonna rock it hard!

And what's the number-one rule?

Always deliver!

- Wrong. Never leave this room.

- Oh.

I always thought it was

something more like "Strength"!

- "Determination"!

- Nope. That's way off.

Number-one rule, never leave this room.

Okay, well, if that...

Bored, bored, bored.

So, how was your commute?

Oh, I took the bucket.

Me, too. Real backed up.

Oh, yeah.

You hear about Steve and Gloria?

What?

I hear they're an item.

- No.

- Yeah.

Are you kidding me?

Are you guys talking about us?

You guys better not be talking about us.

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