Straightheads

Year:
2007
98 Views


F***ing hell. F***'s sake.

Yes?

Look, I just knew

you were going to call me.

Can I just...?

Listen, I've got a right rush on, man.

I've got to finish this job by tonight.

I'm all over the gaff, man.

No, no, no.

Listen, I've not been home.

Yeah? I feel like sh*t.

I smell like sh*t.

Listen, I swear to you now, yeah?

No, I'm pro...

You know, it's just like...

You know, she was a nice girl...

...but it's just not my scene, man.

I've got other things on me nut.

No, we got stoned.

We got the munchies.

We went to the garage.

Nothing happened, okay?

I've got to concentrate on this job.

I can hardly keep my eyes open.

You're late.

Oh, hi, are you?

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

It's just a job. I'll call you later.

Alice, the invite for tonight.

Thanks.

Hi.

I was just...

It's all up and working.

You've got the four alarm settings.

All the cameras are wireless,

all right?

You can monitor any room remotely

from any PC anywhere, okay?

When you're at home,

you just use this remote.

- I'm sorry it took so long.

- That's okay.

- It's gonna cost a bit.

- Yeah, I know.

Should I take you

through the system?

Actually, I have to go out.

You can give me a thumbnail sketch

before I go. I'm gonna take a shower.

Why don't you put your stuff away

and pour yourself a proper drink?

Everything working?

Beautiful.

So I have to go to this stupid party.

It's for work.

What if you came with me?

How's this?

I can't wear that.

I'm just the alarm guy.

You'd be doing me a favor.

Grew up not far from here.

Haven't been back for a while.

So it's the next one.

It's a left here.

It's here, here, here.

Are you sure about this?

I need to piss.

- Are you watching me?

- No.

You see that?

I didn't see a thing.

Mind if I drive?

Good evening, sir.

Thank you very much, sir.

F***ing hell. What's the occasion?

It's my boss' housewarming.

Cashed in his shares

and bought this.

Thank you.

Will I be bored?

You won't be bored.

Alice, you look fabulous.

Misha's right over there.

Alice, over here.

You look amazing.

Hello, Misha.

Who's this?

- Adam.

- Hi, Adam.

What do you do?

I install wireless security systems,

custom built.

How old are you, Adam?

I'm 23.

Sorry.

Welcome.

Nice guy.

Why don't you get us

something to drink?

I'll catch up after I chat

with a few people.

Go on.

How did you meet him?

He's installing the alarm system

in my flat.

Well, really?

And how long has this affaire de coeur

been progressing?

Oh, about three hours.

Maybe I'll get myself

a young little thing.

It's all for you, of course.

If you wanted it.

Hi.

It's so f***ing quiet in there.

Hurry up, yeah.

F***ing hell.

Come on, you had fun, yeah?

I think...

...I might be having

the best night of me life.

Oh, God.

Why is he going so slowly?

Come on.

Burn him up,

you've got the machinery.

You wanker!

So are you gonna dump me

at the edge of town...

...and never see me again?

Is that what you'd like?

Well?

I'll let you know.

Will you now?

F***ing hell.

You okay?

- We should do something.

- No, it's too late.

We can't just leave it here.

Let's get it off the road.

Go and sit in the car.

Sh*t.

Adam, get in the car.

Two secs.

This is silly. We need help.

Adam, get in.

Jesus.

No, stop it.

What are you doing?!

Adam!

Leave him alone!

- Sh*t!

- No!

Stop it! Stop it!

Jesus!

Sh*t.

Oh, my God.

F***.

F***.

Oh, f***ing...

- Need a push?

- What the f*** do you want?!

What the f*** do we want?

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

I'm sorry, I didn't...

Shut up! Shut up!

Stop that! Stop it!

Get inside.

Lady, open the door.

- Come here.

- No.

That's better. That's much better.

She's all yours, sir.

No, no.

Take it easy, darling.

What did they do?

Don't tell anyone.

- What?

- I have to tell you something.

What? What? I can't see, what?

- What?

- All right, Adam.

No!

No!

It's not helping.

Just one.

We said, didn't we?

F*** it.

Adam, wait.

Turn around.

What?

What did you wanna tell me?

Today's my first day back at work.

Yeah.

Are you sure?

It's been a month.

It's enough, yeah?

Your eye stuff's on the table.

Come on.

Police aren't interested.

Just another case of GBH.

A f***ing farce.

Came to the house. Useless.

Yeah.

You came back.

Hi, Alice. It's nice to see you.

I was trying to reach you.

Your father's solicitors called Monday.

Said it was urgent.

Welcome back.

Mr. Collins, Alice Comfort.

Go ahead.

How long ago?

When was the funeral?

I see.

No.

We weren't really in touch anymore.

Yeah, I know where it is, thanks.

Oh, Dad.

Oh, sh*t.

I'm sorry, sorry.

Sorry.

You f***ing dozy tart.

Sorry.

- Sorry, my car runs away with me.

- Well, no worries.

The man with the beard, who is he?

Heffer.

- Heffer?

- That's what we call him, okay?

Alice. Alice.

Where the f*** are you?

Hang on. Hang on.

Hang on.

Two days.

Two f***ing days, you selfish...

I went to your work.

They said you was ill.

They didn't know where you were.

Well, what was I supposed to think?

F***, I'm so sorry.

I'm making some food.

Are you sure it was him?

His name's Heffer.

Heffer?

Okay.

I followed him to his house.

Where?

About six miles down the road.

Two and a half

if you go through the woods.

Will you put that f***ing stuff away?

- What?

- You're so soft.

F*** off. What's got into you?

What can we do?

Call the police?

We did call them.

We didn't tell them the whole story.

You didn't tell them about...

No.

It won't do any good.

I wanna show you something.

- Where did that come from?

- It's my father's.

He was a soldier.

He didn't believe

in turning the other cheek.

Was he in the army long,

your old man?

- All his life.

- Yeah.

Tough guy.

Left his gun

for his daughter to have.

Taught her how to use it.

So...

...we run around the countryside

shooting people, is that...?

Do you know what they did

after they finished with me?

They laughed.

I can't just walk away.

I wish I could.

That f***ing animal.

Keep still.

What do you want me to do, Adam?

It's your call.

Well?

Do it.

All right, bag him.

Come here, come here.

Come on.

Alice, there's stuff everywhere...

Adam, stop it.

Look, we had no choice, right?

It would have barked

every time we got near.

I know, I know.

Look, had to be done, yeah?

Yeah.

You'll get used to it.

Crisis!

Sh*t.

Crisis?

Alice. Alice.

Crisis!

Shut up.

You filthy f***.

Think about it, Alice. Think.

Crisis!

Come on, Crisis, where are you?

Crisis!

Crisis!

Who the f***'s that?

Soph.

Sophie.

I'm gonna look for him.

That's his daughter.

How do you know?

I just know.

Crisis!

It's okay.

F***ing...

It's okay.

Crisis!

Crisis!

Crisis.

You look like you know

your way around.

You haven't seen a dog, have you?

I lost my dog.

I've been looking all day

and I can't find him.

I'm sorry.

Everything's so sh*t without him.

My life's sh*t.

It's all just so f***ed up.

Maybe it's time to leave.

And go where?

I just wanna find my dog.

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Dan Reed

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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