Strangers on a Train Page #2

(proud of his

perspicacity)

Am I right?

GUY:

(laconically)

Close enough.

BRUNO:

(raises his glass)

Well, here's luck, Guy. Drink up -then

we'll have some lunch sent to

my compartment.

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GUY:

Thanks very much. But I think I'll

go to the dining car.

(he hails a waiter

who is passing through

with a food-laden

tray)

Do you know if there are any vacant

seats in the dining car now?

WAITER:

Not for about twenty minutes I'm

afraid, Sir.

BRUNO:

(pleased)

See? You'll have to lunch with me.

(motions the waiter

back)

Say, waiter, bring me some lamb chops

and French fries and chocolate ice

cream, Compartment D, Car 121.

(turns to Guy)

What'll you have, Guy?

GUY:

Thanks just the same, but I really

don't think -

BRUNO:

Oh, go on and order.

The waiter is hovering impatiently. Guy gives in out of

embarrassment.

GUY:

Well, I'll Just have a hamburger and

a cup of coffee.

BRUNO:

(delighted, lifts his

glass in another

toast)

To the next Mrs. Haines.

Guy nods curtly.

DISSOLVE TO:

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INT. BRUNO'S COMPARTMENT ON TRAIN (PROCESS)

Bruno and Guy are finishing lunch. Bruno has been drinking

and his eyes are bright and feverish. An almost empty liquor

bottle is near a couple of detective novels covered with

gaudily Illustrated dust jackets. Bruno has in unlighted

cigarette in his mouth. Guy's lighter is on the table.

Bruno snaps it a couple of times, as though fascinated, lights

his cigarette and puts the lighter on the table again.

BRUNO:

Sure, I went to college. Three of

them. Every time they kicked me out

my father threw me back in.

(bitterly)

He finally gave up. He thinks I'm

awfully small fry, not worth the

bait.

(wistfully)

You my friend, Guy?

GUY:

Sure. I'm your friend, Bruno.

BRUNO:

(a little woozy)

No, you're not, nobody thinks I'm

anything special. Only my mother.

(empties the bottle

into his glass)

My father hates me.

Guy smiles this off as nonsense.

GUY:

You must be imagining things.

BRUNO:

(hitting the bottom

of the bottle for

the last drop)

And I hate him. He thinks I ought

to catch the eight-five bus every

morning, punch a timeclock and work

my way up selling paint or something.

Him -- with all his money!

GUY:

(amused by Bruno)

Well, what do you want to do?

BRUNO:

You mean before or after I kill him?

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GUY:

(chuckling)

Before, of course.

BRUNO:

(leaning forward

eagerly)

I want to do everything. I got a

theory you're supposed to do

everything before you die. Have you

ever driven a car, blindfolded, at a

hundred and fifty miles an hour?

GUY:

Not lately.

BRUNO:

I did. I flew in a jet plans too.

(his hand traces a

swift streak through

the air, and he adds

sound effects)

Zzzzzzzp! Man, that's a thrill!

Almost blow the sawdust out of my

head. I'm going to make a reservation

on the first rocket to the moon...

GUY:

(amused and curious)

What are you trying prove?

BRUNO:

I'm not like you, Guy. You're lucky.

You're smart. Marrying the boss's

daughter is a nice short cut to a

career, isn't it?

GUY:

(quickly)

Marrying the senator's daughter has

nothing to do with it. Can't a fellow

look past a tennis not without being

a goldbricker?

BRUNO:

Take it easy, boy. I'm your friend,

remember? I'd do anything for you.

GUY:

(humoring Bruno)

Sure, Bruno, sure.

(MORE)

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GUY (CONT'D)

(glancing at his watch)

We'll be pulling in soon. I've got

to change trains.

BRUNO:

What'd you say her name was -- your

wife's?

GUY:

Miriam.

BRUNO:

That's it. Miriam Joyce Haines.

Played around a lot, I suppose?

GUY:

Let's not talk about it any more.

BRUNO:

(almost hopefully)

Maybe she'll make more trouble for

you.

GUY:

I don't think so.

BRUNO:

You mean you got enough on her to

get your divorce no matter what?

GUY:

Let's change subject, Bruno, can't

we?

BRUNO:

Okay, Guy. Want me to tell you one

of my ideas for murdering my father?

GUY:

(indicating the

detective novels)

You've been reading too many of these.

BRUNO:

(going right on)

You want to hear about the busted

light socket in the bathroom, or the

carbon monoxide in the garage?

GUY:

No. I may be old fashioned, but I

thought murder was against the law.

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BRUNO:

But not against the law of nature.

My theory is that everybody is a

potential murderer. Didn't you ever

want to kill somebody? Say one of

those useless fellows Miriam was

running around with?

GUY:

You can't go around killing people

just because you think they're

useless.

BRUNO:

Oh, what's a life or two? Some people

are bitter off dead, Guy. Take your -wife

and my father, for instance.

It reminds me of a wonderful idea

had once. I used to put myself to

sleep at night -- figuring it out.

Now, let's say you want to get rid

of your wife.

GUY:

Why?

BRUNO:

Let's say she refuses to give you a

divorce -

(raises a finger and

stops Guy's protest)

Let's say. You'd be afraid to kill

her because you'd get caught. And

what would trip you up? Motive.

Now here's the plan...

GUY:

I'm afraid I haven't time to listen.

BRUNO:

(ignoring the remark)

It's so simple, too. A couple of

fellows meet accidentally, like you

and me. No connection between them

at all. Never saw each other before.

Each of them has somebody he'd like

to get rid of, but he can't murder

the person he wants to get rid of.

He'll get caught. So they swap

murders.

GUY:

Swap murders?

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BRUNO:

Each fellow does the other fellow's

murder. Then there is nothing to

connect them. The one who had the

motive isn't there. Each fellow

murders a total stranger. Like you

do my murder and I do yours.

GUY:

(with relief)

We're coming into my station.

BRUNO:

For example, your wife, my father.

Criss-cross.

GUY:

(sharply)

What?

BRUNO:

(with a smile)

We do talk the same language -- don't

we, Guy?

GUY:

(preparing to leave)

Sure, we talk the same language.

Thanks for the lunch.

BRUNO:

(beaming)

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I thought

the lamb chops were a little overdone

myself.

He holds out his hand. Guy is in a hurry but he shakes hands.

GUY:

Nice meeting you, Bruno.

BRUNO:

(detaining him at the

door)

You think my theory is okay, Guy?

You like it?

GUY:

Sure, sure, Bruno. They're all okay.

(he salutes a quick

goodbye and hurries

away)

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Left alone, Bruno picks up Guy's lighter from the table,

starts to call Guy back to hand It to him.Then he looks closer

at the insignia of crossed tennis rackets.

BRUNO:

(smiling)

Criss-cross.

DISSOLVE TO:

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