Strapped

The light is somewhere here.

Sh*t! God! It's so dark!

It's so dead in here.

How about some music?

I could.... what kind of music do you like?

Something mellow?

You can take your coat off... if you want.

You're so wet.

So am I, I guess.

I'll just take it to the other room.

Is wine OK?

Wine's great.

Wait. Here.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Is the music OK? If you don't like it, I could...

I never danced with another guy before.

Have you ever been with a guy before?

Yeah. Once...

...when I was a teenager.

Gosh, it was...

What?

We had sex in his basement.

A friend of mine, Alexander.

My best friend, really.

We were... 15?... 16?

I thought I was in love with him.

So I said so...

straight into his face...

"I love you."

What happened?

He beat the crap outta me.

I remember that he was swinging away,

calling me a "f***ing gay".

"F***ing gay! F***ing gay!

F***ing gay!"

I never saw him after that.

He moved away.

My first guy was my uncle.

Uncle Charlie.

Uncle Charlie?

He was my dad's drinking buddy.

We called him Uncle Charlie.

What happened?

One night he came into my

room and f***ed me.

How old were you?

Twelve.

- Did your... did your dad find out?

- Oh, yeah.

What did he do?

He pulled a knife and then he charged him.

You mean like... stabbed him?

No. No. He charged him.

Twenty bucks.

- No.

- Yeah.

He said if anyone was going to f*** his boy,

he might as well make some money off of it.

He figured I was ruined anyway.

Jesus.

Hmm-mm.

And Uncle Charlie, he had a lot of friends too, so...

You mean your dad pimped you out?

Pretty much.

So, are you relaxed now?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you like me?

Yes. Yes, I do.

So, when are we gonna f***?

It's okay?

It hurts.

Do you want me to stop?

No. It's good. Just go slow.

You like that?

- Yeah.

- Tell me you like it.

I like it.

Tell me to f*** you.

Say "f*** me".

- F*** me.

- Say "f*** me".

F*** me, f*** me, oh God!

- Yeah?

- Oh, yeah!

- Are you gonna cum?

- Yeah!

- You gonna cum?

- Yeah! Yeah!!

Wow.

Good?

Yeah.

Good.

I came without touching myself.

I know. That's hot.

How did you do it?

Magic.

I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you.

You never told me your name.

Yeah, I did.

Well, maybe I forgot it then...

It's Alex.

Get the f*** outta here!

That's my name.

That was my friend's name.

You mean the one that beat you up

when you said you loved him?

Yeah.

Is your name really Alex?

Is your name really John?

No... it's Giorgi.

In Russia, I was Giorgi.

But, now in America, I'm John.

Was that just a story about your father?

How do you feel?

I feel free.

Free?

Yeah.

Nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's all this f***in' sh*t?...

live like a f***in' pig....

Eddie?

Oh my God! It is you!

What's up, homo?

Come here! Give us kisses!

Oooh, you b*tch!

In the building, not even gonna say "hi"!

That's okay. I forgive you.

Let me look at you.

Damn, girl!

Oh my God!

Y- Y- Y- Y- You have to come inside.

Remember Jacob?

That skinny queen I told you all about?

I showed him your picture.

He was SO into you.

He's in my place right now, with some friends --

we're having a little... hmm?

Eddie! It's me! It's Leon!

Don't you even pretend you don't know m--

I'll never speak to you again.

You'll break my heart!

- Leon! Oh my God!!

- I know! Right?

Damn, girl! How long has it been?

I don't know. Don't embarrass me about time.

Come inside! I've got blow!

- Blow-blow for the ho-ho? Come on!

- Oh, I don't know...

We'll all adore you and

bask in your fabulousness!

I don't know. It's kinda late.

What? You got school tomorrow, b*tch?

Oh, I get it!

You gotta get your beauty sleep for teacher, huh?

You like those nerds with the

big c*cks, don't you, you whore?

No, seriously, come inside, I've missed you.

C'mon!

C'mon!

Alright!

- Yeah?

-Yeah!

Here b*tch, take this.

I'm older, you gotta do what I say.

C'mon!

Sexy butt, movin' down the hall. Yeah....

- Beep. Beep. Beep.

- Ha ha

I'm back!

Justin, I'm still not talkin' to you.

Listen up girls:

I have a surprise for you.

I brought it with me. You ready?

Tada!! It's Eddie! Remember?

I told you about Eddie. I did!

Here, take your coat off. Stay awhile!

Here, Liquor Pig, drink up!

You better finish every last f***ing drop too!

I'll be checking!

That's Gary. He's a little writer friend,

but really, just a big lush, aren't you, Gary?

Now, Eddie, you stand right here...

Center stage.

This is Eddie I was always

telling you about, remember?

Hello?

Adult speaking! You don't remember?

Fine. Whatever.

Nobody listens to me.

Yeah, you talk so much, so how can we?

Oh my God! You're so funny!

Give me some coke, b*tch.

If there's any left. I was gone four f***in' minutes,

it all went up your f***in' hole.

Here Eddie, have a toot.

Oh, Christ! What the f*** you freaks do to this sh*t?

Eddie, have a toot.

Eddie here, gives the best

blowj*bs f***ing anywhere!

In the f***ing universe!

He has no uvula.

He had it removed by some

Romanian pimp or some sh*t.

"Deep Throat Eddie".

That's your new name from now on.

Deep

Throat

Eddie!

Have a toot!

I just remembered.

That's not the best part.

Can I tell them?

Sure.

Ok, I'm gonna tell 'em.

You're looking at the only son of...

wait for it...

Samuel Franklin Dobson, ex-mayor.

Samuel F***ing Franklin Dobson!

Isn't that right, Eddie?

And tell 'em... what you said...

when he finally found out.

You tell 'em.

You like this story more than me.

Whatever, queen!

So, they come and they take him

to the big, scary mansion, you know?

And little "Deep Throat" is still in her go-go outfit...

And his father's all... "blah, blah, blah!

No son of mine!"

Mayor talk, mayor talk, mayor talk...

Then he offers Deep Throat here,

a truckload of money and sh*t...

a college education, a job...

And all Deep Throat has to do is, you know...

...end this depraved life...

of godless buttfucking, right?

So, Eddie here, says...

Father! I am as God made me,

and to follow you would be the greatest sin of all.

I know the story!

From My Own Private Idaho...

Keanu Reeves, River Phoenix...

Shut the f*** up!

I saw it, you saw it!

Every gay man in the universe has seen it.

I never saw it.

Yes, he's like, the mayor's

son or the governor's son...

No. No, no, this is why no one talks to you!

That's why no one listens to you!

- If Eddie says his daddy is the mayor...

- Was the mayor!

Was the mayor. Thank you, Eddie.

Then Eddie's daddy was the mayor!

Yeah, right, okay.

Yeah, he's the litmus test of reality right now.

- You wanna-- you wanna leave?

-No.

Then shut the f*** up.

- You win... I'm listening.

- Yeah? Okay. Shhh!

- Quiet... shhh....

B*tch! Always have to say something

that's f***in' up my f***in' high!

Anyway, little Eddie has this big ultimatum, right?

She has to clean up and go to college...

or live the life of a hussy.

And she said I am as God made me?

A dirty buttfucking, cum-eating whore?

And she's cut off, without a cent!

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