Strictly Ballroom

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CROWD:

(to Scott Hastings and Elizabeth Short)

Come on, 100!

SHIRLEY HASTINGS

Scott won most of

the trophies in this room.

You see, that's the tragedy...

my son was a champion.

PRESENTER:

Welcome

to the Southern Districts...

Waratah Championships.

You're going to see

some of the top dancers...

in the Southern Districts

here today.

SHIRLEY:

Well, there had been

some silliness in the past...

but we thought he was over it.

I mean, we never imagined...

that he would do

such a thing in front of...

Federation President Barry Fife.

BARRY FIFE:

And don't forget the official

Federation video...

yes, the only way to dance...

Wonderful to see you, Barry.

Barry Fife's "Dance to Win"

is on sale here tonight.

Yeah.

SHIRLEY:

Well, there was no doubt

in anyone's mind...

that Scott and Liz would be...

the next

Pan Pacific Grand Prix...

Amateur Five Dance

Latin American champions.

I mean, they'd worked

towards it all their lives.

And then... came that.

PRESENTER:

Samba!

CROWD:

Come on, Dennis!

CROWD:

Come on, 54!

CROWD:

Come on, 69!

SHIRLEY:

Ken Railings and Pam Short

were dancing there that night.

Ken's always been a wonderful

ambassador for ballroom dancing.

Tequila

But I know

that everyone there...

really thought

it was Scott's turn.

CROWD:

Come on, number 100!

LES:

It is true.

Scott and Liz became what

we term "boxed in" or blocked.

ELIZABETH HOLT:

Piss off!

LES:

It was no excuse

for what Scott did.

What the bloody hell

is going on, Kendall?

He resorted to his own

flashy, crowd-pleasing steps.

Come on... come on.

LIZ HOLT:

He forced me into it.

Where the man goes,

the lady must follow.

I had no choice.

I bet you never saw that before.

SHIRLEY:

I keep asking myself why.

Did I do something wrong?

Did I fail him as a mother?

In front of Barry Fife...

I'll cut the music.

Don't be bloody stupid, woman!

LES:

Well, to pick what was

actually wrong with the steps...

you'd have to be

an experienced professional...

like myself or

Federation president Barry Fife.

Barry Fife...

BARRY:

Well, of course, you can dance

any steps you like.

That doesn't mean you'll...

win.

PRESENTER:

The winner is couple number 69,

Ken Railings and Pam Short.

SHIRLEY:

Ken and Pam are...

Southern Star Interregional

New Vogue title holders...

Putting on the Ritz

City and Country Inaugural...

Three Dance Round Robin

champions...

Tulip Time Central Districts

and Outer Lying Regions...

Winter Five Dance

Two Time champions...

and more than three times

Pan Pacific Grand Prix...

Amateur Five Dance

Latin American champions!

Yes!

FRAN:

I've only been dancing

for two years...

so I haven't got

a partner yet...

but I thought what

they danced was wonderful.

I thought they should have won.

SHIRLEY:

Hi, Liz, I thought

you should have...

Come all the way down

from the Big Smoke.

Sorry.

SCOTT:

- Liz!

LIZ:

- Piss off!

SCOTT:

- Liz.

LIZ:

- Get away from me!

I'm not dancing with you,

all right?

I'm not dancing with you...

till you dance

like you're supposed to.

LES:

That's good.

Keep away

from the chest, girls.

One, two...

One, two, three, four.

SHIRLEY:

Partner-up.

Happy as Larry

they were last night...

on the phone for hours.

SCOTT:

I'm just asking you.

What did you think of the steps?

LIZ:

I don't think!

I don't give a sh*t

about them! We lost!

SHIRLEY:

Don't you worry about Barry.

Spinning the girl off!

Oh, Fran... are you out

of that apricot scrub?

FRAN:

Nearly, Mrs. Hastings.

SHIRLEY:

I'll bring some in tomorrow

with the toner.

It's a dollar dazzler

special this week.

FRAN:

Thanks, Mrs. Hastings.

LES:

Grand roulette in!

SCOTT:

I don't want us to end up like

that drunk, Ken Railings.

LIZ:

Ken Railings is a ballroom king!

LES:

Good, Clarry!

I'll smooth it over.

When Les Kendall talks,

Barry Fife listens.

SHIRLEY:

I've got my happy face

on today, Les.

Everything's going

to be all right.

LIZ:

Aah!

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Hastings.

I am sorry. I have tried.

God knows, I have tried.

But as far as I can see...

your son isn't even interested

in winning at the Pan Pacifics.

As of this moment,

he and I are no longer partners.

VANESSA CRONIN:

Hi, Liz.

LIZ:

Aah!

Vanessa!

VANESSA:

Tango, please.

LIZ:

Oh, Vanessa!

Come on.

This stupid studio's

a nightmare! Aah!

Oh, my God, Shirley.

Stay calm, Les. Stay calm.

Here he comes.

Doug... Doug.

DOUG HASTINGS:

Son, can I bend

your ear for a tick?

SCOTT:

Not now, Dad.

SHIRLEY:

Don't you speak to

your father like that.

He's trying to talk to you.

Talk to him, Doug.

WAYNE BURNS:

Scottie, are we going to do

that bogo pogo?

SCOTT:

Did you like the way

I danced on the weekend?

WAYNE:

- What?

SCOTT:

- Did you like the way I danced?

WAYNE:

I don't know. You didn't win.

SCOTT:

Yeah, but did you like it?

WAYNE:

- I don't know. You ready?

SCOTT:

- What?

WAYNE:

You were going to help me and

Vanessa with the bogo pogo?

SCOTT:

I'm asking you

what you thought...

of the way I danced

on the weekend.

WAYNE:

I told you. I don't know.

SCOTT:

Jesus, Wayne.

Mm-mmm...

LES:

We had an agreement.

Arms, Clarry!

SCOTT:

Maybe I changed my mind.

Maybe I'm just sick

of dancing...

somebody else's steps

all the time.

LES:

Don't you get

above yourself, lad.

People who have passed on

those steps...

know more about

dancing than you do!

SCOTT:

The audience didn't think so.

LES:

Oh, the audience, the audience.

Forward on the heel, Fran!

What would they know?

Flashy, unusual choreography.

Crowd pleasing,

but where was your floor craft?

Arms, Clarry!

No energy directed

into the floor.

Untidy feet and hands.

You could've driven a truck

between your left...

Arms, Clarry!

And your right hand...

Think that's gonna win

the Pan Pacific Grand Prix?

VANESSA:

Does he really think

that's going to win...

the Pan Pacific Grand Prix?

He also said that

what we dance is crap.

WAYNE:

What?

VANESSA:

Yeah, and then...

he ripped her dress.

LES:

And what's more, you won't win

if you don't have a partner.

CLARRY:

Looks like Scott and Liz

are still fighting, Mrs. H.

SHIRLEY:

I'm not going to let

that bother me, Clarry.

I've got my happy face on today.

Well, Fran, you managed

to upset Lizzy.

FRAN:

I better go and apologize.

LES:

Go to that little girl

and beg forgiveness.

You're nothing

without her, Scott.

Remember, it takes two to tango.

You've a light in you, boy.

Let it shine.

FRAN:

Hi, Liz...

LIZ:

All right.

I knew

you'd come to your senses.

No! I don't want this!

I don't want this!

SCOTT:

What do you want?

LIZ:

What do I want?

I'll tell you what I want.

I want Ken Railings

to walk in here right now...

and say, "Pam Short's

broken both her legs...

"and I want to dance with you!"

PAM SHORT:

Aah!

KEN RAILINGS:

Pam Short's broken

both her legs...

and I want

to dance with you.

KYLIE:

That was unexpected.

SHIRLEY:

Thank you very much, class.

That's it. Time to go.

Chairs, please, Clarry.

Broom, Natalie.

Ken's got

his own spa bath.

Yeah. Great for

the aching muscles.

I can do you a fantastic deal.

Oh, maybe.

That's great, Mr. Railings.

Clarry, chairs.

Ken owns Spa-Arama.

VANESSA:

Wayne and I are hoping to do

really well this year.

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