Strike Up the Band Page #6

how the actors used to ham it up...

...with the broad gestures

and the asides to the audience...

...and the business with the cape.

But he said that was really acting

in those days.

Well, remember that melodrama

we wrote...

...but we never got a chance to put it on?

- Sure, I remember.

That's the show

I told Mr. Mollison about.

- You did? What'd he say?

- He thought it was great.

- That's wonderful.

- It's more than wonderful.

Mr. Mollison wasn't just being nice.

He was really sold on the idea.

I know if we do well in the tryout...

...we can get the Elks Club

to furnish scenery and costumes.

Gosh. Do you think we could?

We gotta knock them right off their feet.

It's laying right in our lap.

You could play Nell.

You play Mr. Goodpenny,

who falls in love with me.

He's supposed to be handsome

but you could use makeup.

- Sure.

- Who's gonna play the villain?

- The what?

- The villain.

I know. Phillip, with that trick laugh

of his. You know:

- He'd be a natural for Squire Poultice.

- That'll be great.

- And who gets to play La Belle Francais?

- La Belle Francais...

- Has to be blonde and giggly.

- Yeah.

A glamour girl. Thinks all the men

are madly in love with her.

- That's it.

- What's the matter with Barbara Frances?

- No. No, no. Not in my show.

- Wait a minute, fella. Our show.

Look, she's just the type.

She's going play the part.

She is, huh? All right,

but it's gonna be awfully embarrassing.

This is a show we're putting on.

It's gotta be the greatest

that ever hit Riverwood.

You're right, Mary.

We've got to have a great show

with a million laughs and color.

And a lot of lights to make it sparkle.

And songs.

- Wonderful songs with you selling them.

- It'll be wonderful.

And after we get the people in that hall

we got to start them laughing.

Can't you just see it, Mary?

The people are just packing in.

Why, there's not a seat left in the house.

Why, the overture's starting

and the house lights are going down.

- We're ready to go.

- On stage.

- Lights. Music.

- Curtain!

Let's be gay in the way they were gay

In the dear gay '90s

Be naive, wear your heart on your sleeve

For the golden days

When life was gay and charming

But with great propriety

Great propriety

And grandmamma was horrified

If grandpa saw her knee

Men should never see a knee

Give a cheer for each dear souvenir

Of the dear gay '90s

Drink a toast to the ghost

Of the most delightful years

When home sweet home

Didn't know discord

And a cad was someone to be abhorred

And virtue was its own reward

In the gay, gay

The terribly gay

The horribly gay

Gay '90s

Walking down Broadway

The festive gay Broadway

The okay thing on Saturday

Is walking down Broadway

The lady on your arm

Is full of grace and charm

And life is very, very gay

While walking down Broad...

Stop. Do not make fun

of this simple country lassie.

She may be somebody's mother.

Or somebody's sister or somebody's...

Stop. You're just as cruel.

And even though

I may have erred in my ways...

I am more to be pitied than censured

I am more to be helped than despised

I am only a lassie who ventured

On life's stormy path, ill-advised

Do not scorn me with words

Fierce and bitter

Do not laugh at my shame and downfall

For a moment just stop and consider

That a man was the cause

Of it all

I beg your humble forgiveness, miss.

Never again shall I insult a lady

when she is down.

Adieu.

Alas, this is the end.

Why, it's Miss Nelly from New Rochelle.

Fancy meeting you here, my dear child.

Squire Poultice. Fancy meeting you here.

Even though I know

you may be a villain...

...'tis still most warming to see

a friendly face from my old home town.

New York is indeed a cruel

and unfriendly city.

Alas, I have not eaten for five days.

What a pity, my child.

Come with me. What you need

is some champagne and caviar.

Merciful fate,

guide me in this crucial crisis.

Methinks there is something rotten

in Denmark.

The old codger has intentions on the poor

child which are not altogether honorable.

I shall be on the qui vive for foul play.

And now, my pretty pet,

do you not feel better?

I have misjudged you, Squire Poultice.

You are indeed a very kind man.

Shall we have a demitasse?

- A demitasse? I might have known.

- Nelly, I love you.

Stand back, villain, go your way.

For I will no longer stay.

And face the vile temptations

That you hurl

You may tempt the upper classes

With your villainous demitasses

But heaven will protect

The working girl

Nelly. Nelly. I love you.

Oh, no. No. A thousand times, no.

Help, help. Save me.

Curse you, Merriwether Goodpenny.

My hero, how can I ever repay you?

By forgiving me for being a cad.

I do forgive you, a thousandfold.

My heart is bounding

like the surging sea.

Wait. Would she think me impetuous

if I asked her for a tryst?

I'll risk it.

Miss Nelly, may I hope to see you again

on the morrow?

Silly headstrong youth.

Shall we say the park?

- At 3?

- Until 3, then, at the park.

Adieu. Adieu.

- Adieu.

- Adieu.

But heaven will protect

The working girl

The working girl

It has been three years

since Merriwether and I were made one.

And fate has blessed us

with this lovely child.

I thank you, kind fate...

...for having guided my footsteps

from the gutters of ignominy.

Oh, baby.

- Nelly. My wife.

- My husband.

Why do you hang your head in shame?

Would that I could die here, I sullied

her pretty brow with such sordid news.

Nelly, the mortgage is due,

and alas, I have no money.

Oh, shame. Oh, agony.

'Tis the squire, Nelly. Be brave.

Well, my pretty doves, we meet again.

'Tis the end.

No, Merriwether. No. Not yet.

Where there's life, there's hope.

Here, take this ring and pawn it.

- No, Nelly, 'tis your wedding ring.

- This is no time for sentiment.

Run, Merriwether.

Now, Squire Poultice,

until this house belongs to you...

...you are not welcome in it. Scram.

Curse you, Nelly Newcombe.

But you have not heard the last of me.

I'll get you yet.

Here's your lemonade, sir.

Nice of you to invite me for a refreshment

on such a hot day.

- Little does he know.

- This lassie, awfully clever.

With this, we'll work the trick.

Good. Good.

Come on, Squire Wire, old boy, let's you

and I have another little drink, huh?

- Merriwether!

- It's my wife.

Father, dear Father

Come home with me now

The clock in the steeple strikes

One

You said you were coming right home

With the dough

As soon as Ma's ring you did pawn

Come home, come home, come home.

My baby.

Please, Father, dear Father

My boy, Squire.

Come home

My little boy.

My baby.

So.

You've been spying on me, huh?

Merriwether,

you've been gone for two years.

Where is the money?

Money? What money

are you talking about, Nelly?

The money for the mortgage.

What happened to the money

for the mortgage?

Your husband's bought rum

with the money, madame.

Then all is lost.

Now, I'll teach you

to meddle in my affairs.

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