Stuck in Love Page #5

I guess I just don't want you to

think that I don't think about us,

you know, and...

all those years

we spent together,

because I do...

think about...

everything that I gave up.

I wonder if it was worth it.

Was it?

I got to go.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

It was so nice to meet you.

Oh, you, too, Samantha.

I hope you come back

and see me again soon.

I will.

Okay, you two.

I'm going to walk

Sam to her car.

I'll be right back, Mom.

Not so fast.

I made hot chocolate.

It's in the kitchen.

What's wrong with your mom?

She, um...

She has a brain tumor.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

I can't believe how much of

a b*tch I've been to you.

Yeah, I know, right?

Okay, yeah.

I don't... I don't want you

to feel sorry for me.

Really, I...

I've enjoyed all of our back

and forth, you know, sparring.

It's really... it's helped me

take my mind off of all this.

Well, I'm glad I could help out.

You going home for Christmas?

Yeah, I'm headed

back there tomorrow.

Well, I'm willing to forget about

this whole stalking incident,

if you will allow me to take you out

on a proper date when you get back.

Okay.

Really?

That easy? Yeah?

I'm not going to say it again.

Okay.

Oh, I actually...

brought you an ARC

of my new book.

Oh,wow. Stalking and a present.

Under the Pink by Samantha Borgens.

Look at that.

Well, I will... I will

read this over break.

Probably aloud.

My mom and I have been tearing

through some books lately.

No, you can't read it to her.

It's filled with sex

and profanity.

Oh, no, she loves sex.

You added too much water.

It's not like you're

Martha Stewart in here.

Says the guy who puts

sprinkles on burn.

Hey, guys.

Hey.

Look at you!

Why are you all dressed up?

I'm going over to Kate's.

Why does it smell

so horrible in here?

No, no, no. These are our cookies.

Smell.

Yeah, we burned the first batch.

Actually, this is the second.

No, no, no, no, no!

Sorry!

Oh, my God, Dad!

What?

This is ridiculous!

We burned them again!

Oh, God. Okay...

Yeah, no laughing, Rusty.

When am I going

to meet this girl?

I don't know. Try not

to burn the house down.

Yeah, drive careful.

I will.

How serious is this thing?

Uh, they're having sex.

What?

How do you know?

Yeah.

Wow, go Rusty!

She has more experience than him.

Yeah, well, who doesn't?

He seems really happy.

At least someone

in this house is.

Do you see a frown on my face?

You do seem unusually

chipper today.

Have you discovered

anti-depressants?

Actually, no. I'm just

moving on with my life.

I'm done with the whole thing

with your mom,

and I'm moving forward.

Seriously?

New Year's resolution.

How about that?

Moving on.

Dad?

Yeah.

That's huge!

That's so...

Oh, flour hug.

No, no, no!

Not on my white shirt.

Ta-da!

I thought you already gave

me my Christmas present.

Shut up and open it.

Come on.

All right, here we go.

This isn't just a CD.

It isn't?

No.

It's a roadmap to my soul.

It's like if you gave

me a favorite book.

Yeah, speaking of that.

Boom.

Oh, my gosh.

Wow, this is the biggest

book I've ever seen.

I know it looks formidable,

but honestly,

it's going to be, like,

one of the most satisfying reading

experiences of your life.

Is it scary?

Yeah, sure, but it's

not just a scary book.

It's like Moby Dick.

It's about everything.

You're going to be

so wrapped up in it,

you're going to be crying at

the end of it. You cried.

Oh, you'll cry, too, okay?

I might have cried.

You're really cute when you

get worked up about books.

Do I have you

worked up about me?

Yeah.

Good.

Because I've got to

have you right now.

What about your parents?

Won't they come in?

They don't come in here.

Are you sure? I'm sure.

Come here.

How was your Christmas?

It was good.

Filled with family. You know, loud.

Yeah.

So you haven't

mentioned my book.

Mm. Yeah, um...

So you didn't like it?

No, no, that's not it.

I liked it a lot.

It's incredibly well written.

The characters are vibrant and alive.

But?

I mean, I knew you were cynical,

but is that really how you

feel about love and marriage?

I don't know.

Sometimes.

Oh, thank you.

How much of that

really happened?

I made most of it up.

I didn't draw that much

from my parents' divorce,

other than the little

girl seeing her mother

having sex with the

man on the beach.

Holy sh*t, that really happened?

Yeah.

I mean, I wasn't a little girl.

I was in high school.

My parents were having a party,

and I was up on the roof.

It was late, and my mom

came staggering out of the

back of the house with Martin.

And she was all over him.

And I remember Martin saying,

"What about Bill?

What if Bill sees?"

And my mom replying,

"I don't care. "

"I don't care. "

Hey,Lou?

Mm-hmm.

You make me feel less cynical.

My turn?

My turn. Uh...

Favorite TV show.

The Wonder Years. Oh, all right.

that's nice.

I'm still in love

with Winnie Cooper.

Okay, favorite song.

Beatles.

"Polythene Pam. "

Great choice.

Thank you. Yours?

"Between the Bars"

by Elliot Smith.

Play it for me.

I actually do have it here.

You're in luck.

Although this is...

This is really no way to...

to hear a song.

Just play it.

Will you at least

close your eyes,

because you got to block

out all this other stuff.

It's really distracting.

Okay. You're funny.

# Drink up baby,

stay up all night

# With the things you could do

you won't but you might

# The potential you'll be

That you'll never see

# The promises

you'll only make

# Drink up with me now

# And forget all about

the pressure of days

# Do what I say

and I'll make you okay

# And drive them away

I'm so scared right now.

# The images stuck

in your head

I know. I know.

# The people

you've been before

# That you don't want

around anymore

I don't want to get hurt.

I'm not going to hurt you.

# I'll keep them still

# Drink up baby,

look at the stars

# I'll kiss you again

between the bars

# Where I'm seeing you there

with your hands in the air

# Waiting to finally be caught

# The people you've been before

- # That you don't want

around anymore # - Come on!

# That push and shove

and won't bend to your will

# I'll keep them still #

And that's the picture that

you want to have up there?

I'm going to trump that

though, real quick,

because you look

like a serial killer.

Let's take another one.

Let me show you

a test picture.

Let me show you

how it's done, okay?

If I were on this website, I'd say,

"Oh, I'd love to go on

a date with you. Yeah?"

Did you actually pay for that?

No?

No.

Can I ask you

a serious question?

Are you color blind?

F***, no.

Professional.

You do not... no.

You know what?

You do not look ready to party.

I think...

Let me just take a look.

Are you being serious with this?

We're not in Cancun.

Eh, no.

That's my favorite shirt.

Don't ever do it.

Okay, good.

Right? Ok.

Come get in this right now.

Let's do it.

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