Suits Page #2

Season #1

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HARVEY:

Let me just make sure I understand. We

negotiated a deal that got you everything

you wanted. Mr. Cooper signed it. And

now you won’t close until we take away

the last shred of his dignity?

GERALD:

Bingo.

HARVEY:

Well, that’s not going to happen.

He offers the water. Gerald looks at it with contempt, then:

GERALD:

Why the hell not?

HARVEY:

Because I like Mr. Cooper. And my firm

doesn’t operate in bad faith.

Harvey drinks the water himself.

GERALD:

How I see it is, instead of working

Cooper, you’re working me. So take your

faggoty attitude back in there and make

him sign my deal or I’ll pay someone else

your money to do it for me.

HARVEY:

First of all, Gerald, if you think anyone

is gonna touch this deal after your bad

faith, you’re mistaken. Second, the way

our agreement works is the minute Cooper

signed the deal that gave you everything

you wanted, our fee was due and payable.

Harvey reaches into his jacket pocket.

HARVEY:

Which is why at 7:30, I received

confirmation of a wire transfer from

escrow indicating payment in full.

He removes a fax.

HARVEY:

I would say the ball’s in your court, but

the truth is your balls are in my fist.

I apologize if that image is too faggoty

for you, but I’m comfortable enough with

my manhood to put it out there.

Harvey holds out the fax to Gerald, who is dumbstruck.

HARVEY:

Now get your ass in there and close this

God damn deal.

GERALD:

(to Katherine)

You let him talk to me like this?

KATHERINE:

Harvey speaks for the firm.

Gerald exits the office. Katherine leans in to Harvey.

KATHERINE:

We got paid before Gerald signed the

deal?

HARVEY:

This is a memo about some fire drill on

Tuesday. By the way, you’re blue team

captain. You get to wear a fire hat.

INT. TREVOR STEVENS’ CONDOMINIUM - CONTINUOUS

Leather couch, plasma TV, weed on the table; this is the pad

of a bachelor with serious disposable income. TREVOR, clean

cut, 22, suit and tie, takes a bite of a cheeseburger and

savors it. Mike looks at the bong, shakes his head to

himself and then turns to Trevor...

MIKE:

I’ve got to get my sh*t together.

TREVOR:

This is the best cheeseburger I’ve ever

had in my life.

MIKE:

It’s from Monday. Trevor, I’m serious.

I almost got caught today, then my client

stiffed me for half. I’m sick of this

life. I’ve gotta stop getting stoned and

get my act together.

TREVOR:

Dude, look at me. You can bake up and

still be a success.

MIKE:

You sell pot for a living.

TREVOR:

It still saps the motivation. Look, all

I’m saying is, you want in, you are in.

MIKE:

That’s basically your offer before I got

caught cheating on your math test in

third grade.

TREVOR:

Goddamn memory.

MIKE:

And by the way, it’s your offer on every

shady thing you’ve gotten me involved in.

TREVOR:

How was I supposed to know that chick was

the dean’s daughter? Look, nobody’s ever

going to suspect you’re a dealer.

Trevor indicates his clean cut image and suit and tie.

TREVOR:

Look at me. This is a two-thousand

dollar suit, I’ve got twelve of them.

Trevor starts counting on his fingers.

TREVOR:

I have an office, I take on real software

projects, my clients wear suits... They

give me briefcases of cash, I give them

identical briefcases with vacuum sealed

bud. I’m telling you, hide in plain

sight... oldest trick in the book.

MIKE:

So what do you need me for?

TREVOR:

I leave town tomorrow, I’ve got a client

coming in wants to meet at the Ritz. I

need somebody I trust to make the drop.

It’s totally safe. Come on, help me out.

MIKE:

You know, one stands a greater chance of

dying while dealing drugs than on death

row in Texas. Which begs the question:

why would anyone deal drugs?

TREVOR:

What are you talking about?

MIKE:

It’s from “Freakonomics,” which I suggest

you read. But whether you do or you

don’t, you’ll have to find someone else,

because I’m not interested.

JENNY (O.S.)

Not interested in what?

JENNY GRIFFITH, Trevor’s girlfriend, has entered the condo

without them noticing. She’s 22, dresses like a student, and

has no idea that Trevor deals pot. Trevor is defensive.

TREVOR:

What are you doing here? I thought you

were sleeping at your place tonight.

JENNY:

(what he should have said)

Hey, sweetie, what a pleasant surprise.

I’m so glad you stopped by.

She kisses Trevor then turns to Mike.

JENNY:

Not interested in what?

Mike and Trevor share a look, “What should we say?”

MIKE:

Trevor’s trying to set me up.

JENNY:

(covering)

That’s terrific. Who’s the lucky girl?

TREVOR:

I was trying to get him to work for me.

JENNY:

(brightening)

That’s a great idea. It would take some

stress off of Trevor. And you’d pick up

writing code like you do everything else.

MIKE:

I’m gonna take off. I’ve got to get up

early to see my grandmother.

As Mike heads out, Jenny squeezes his hand.

INT. MANHATTAN UPSCALE BAR - LATER THAT NIGHT

Harvey and Katherine sit surrounded by beautiful people.

KATHERINE:

By the way, I’ve set up a meeting with

you and John Dockery next week.

HARVEY:

Dockery? He’s Skadden’s biggest client.

KATHERINE:

Not anymore. He’s looking around. He’s

asked us to do a preliminary evaluation

of his corporate structure and assess

where he’s vulnerable to a takeover. I

want you to charm him and close him.

HARVEY:

Consider it done.

A stunning WAITRESS approaches with their drinks. As

Katherine takes hers, she indicates Harvey to the waitress.

KATHERINE:

Miss, you are looking at the best closer

this city has ever seen.

HARVEY:

(to waitress, not embarrassed)

Katherine, please you’re embarrassing me.

WAITRESS:

Closer, huh? Baseball?

HARVEY:

Attorney. I close situations.

WAITRESS:

So all you care about is money?

HARVEY:

The truth is... I do it for the children.

WAITRESS:

Handsome, wealthy, and funny... what do

you think you’re some kind of super hero?

HARVEY:

I don’t like to toot my own horn. I feel

that question is best answered by one of

the many people whose lives I’ve saved.

She laughs.

WAITRESS:

I’m Lisa.

HARVEY:

Harvey.

LISA:

Well, Harvey, I don’t usually do this,

but I’m off in ten minutes. You want to

take me out for a drink?

HARVEY:

Your timing couldn’t be more perfect.

Katherine here was just leaving.

Katherine is just starting to sip her full drink.

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - NEXT MORNING

The unit’s barely larger than the table at the law firm.

Mike is asleep on a pullout that takes up the entire place.

An alarm rings. Mike hits snooze and goes back to sleep.

INT. EXQUISITE WEST END TOWN HOME - SAME

Katherine is eating an early breakfast with her mentor,

PHILLIP, a distinguished man in his seventies. His elegantly

appointed home resembles the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

KATHERINE:

...point is I can see myself stepping

down as senior partner in five years.

PHILLIP:

Seems like it’s only been ten minutes

since I handed the reins to you.

KATHERINE:

It hasn’t. Time just moves a lot faster

when you’re a hundred and sixty.

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