Suits Page #5

Season #1

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MIKE:

I’m only here to ditch the cops. I don’t

care if you let me in or not.

Harvey opens the door to meet Mike. Donna gives him a wink.

As Mike enters the door, we see that the latch on the

briefcase has come loose from being slammed...

INT. RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL - SUITE 205 - MOMENTS LATER

Mike and Harvey shake hands.

MIKE:

Rick Sorkin.

HARVEY:

Harvey Specter. Nice to meet you.

As they shake hands, the briefcase bursts open. Harvey sees

the mound of pot. Mike looks busted.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON HALLWAY/SUITE 205 OUTER ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The bellman enters and realizes there are twenty men who look

exactly like Mike. He looks suspiciously at everyone.

DONNA:

Can I help you?

INT. GERALD TATE’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Gerald sits at his desk. His secretary appears at the door.

SECRETARY:

There’s a Louis Litt here to see you.

GERALD:

Who the hell is Louis Litt?

SECRETARY:

He says he’s your lawyer.

GERALD:

Send him in.

The secretary exits. A moment. Louis appears at the door.

LOUIS:

Mr. Tate, I have information that I

believe will lead you to the conclusion

that you’re better served at Pearson,

Hardman with me as your lead counsel.

GERALD:

Come in, have a seat.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL - SUITE 205 - A LITTLE LATER

Harvey and Mike sit together. Harvey leans in, fascinated.

HARVEY:

How did you know they were the police?

MIKE:

I read a novel in elementary school. The

cops were staking out a hotel and they

posed as a bellhop and a man in a suit.

It was the exact same thing.

HARVEY:

You read a novel in elementary school?

MIKE:

What? I like to read.

HARVEY:

Why did you ask them what time it was?

MIKE:

To throw them off. What drug dealer asks

a cop what time it is while he’s carrying

a briefcase full of pot?

Harvey shakes his head in awe.

HARVEY:

Now that is ballsy thinking under fire.

We should hire you. Jesus, I’d give you

the twenty-five grand as a signing bonus.

MIKE:

I’ll take it.

HARVEY:

Unfortunately, we only hire from Harvard.

And you not only didn’t go to Harvard Law

School, you didn’t go to any law school.

MIKE:

What if I told you I consume knowledge

like no one you’ve ever met, and I’ve

actually passed the bar?

Harvey looks at Mike, “I’d say you’re full of sh*t.” Mike

points at a book sticking out of Harvey’s bag.

MIKE:

I notice you have a Barbri Legal Handbook

with you. Open it up, read me something.

Harvey looks skeptical, but he opens up the book.

HARVEY:

“Civil liability associated with agency

is based on several factors including --”

MIKE:

“-- the deviation of the agent from his

path, the reasonable inference of agency

on behalf of the plaintiff, and the

nature of the damages themselves.”

HARVEY:

(looking up, stunned)

How did you do that?

MIKE:

I learned it when I studied for the bar.

HARVEY:

Okay, hot shot, fire up that laptop, I’ll

show you what a Harvard Attorney can do.

That’s my database of every legal issue

in existence. Pick one.

Harvey jumps up and points for Mike to sit at his laptop.

Mike punches the arrow key a couple times and hits enter.

MIKE:

Stock option backdating.

HARVEY:

Although backdating options is legal,

violations arise related to disclosures

under both FASB 123R and Internal Revenue

Code Section 409A.

MIKE:

You forgot The Sarbanes Oxley Act of ‘02.

HARVEY:

The statute of limitations renders

Sarbanes Oxley moot post 2007.

Mike peers closely at the screen while clicking the mouse.

MIKE:

Not if you can find actions to cover up

the violation, as established in the

sixth circuit, May 2008.

HARVEY:

Impressive, but you are at a computer.

MIKE:

(turning the screen to Harvey)

I’ve been playing hearts: If you’re gonna

beat me, it better be at something else.

Harvey is stunned.

HARVEY:

How can you know all that --

MIKE:

I told you. I like to read. And once I

read something, I understand it. And

once I understand it, I never forget it.

HARVEY:

Why take the bar?

MIKE:

Some d*ckhead bet me I couldn’t pass it

without going to law school.

HARVEY:

How long did he give you to study?

MIKE:

Four months. It was two months longer

than I needed.

Harvey begins to actually consider Mike’s proposition.

HARVEY:

Do you really want this job?

MIKE:

When I was in college my dream was to be

a lawyer. My grandmother needed money

and Trevor convinced me to memorize some

math test and sell it. Turns out we sold

it to the dean’s daughter. I lost my

scholarship and got thrown out of school.

Mike pauses, as if remembering how it felt... then:

MIKE:

I got knocked into a different life, I’ve

been wishing for a way back ever since.

HARVEY:

I had someone take a chance on me once.

But before she did, she made damn sure I

was committed to the job. I’m talking

about work. Long hours, high pressure,

no f***ing around. I need an adult.

MIKE:

You give me this, I’ll work as hard as it

takes to school those Harvard douches,

and be the best lawyer you’ve ever seen.

Harvey looks at a piece of paper he’s written something on.

HARVEY:

I’m inclined to give you a shot. But

what if I decide to go another way?

MIKE:

I’d say, fine. Sometimes I like to hang

out with people that aren’t that bright

just to see how the other half lives.

We see the paper says, “Thinks he’s the smartest one in the

room.” Harvey grins:

HARVEY:

Move over. I’m emailing the firm I’ve

found our next associate.

(as he types)

By the way, the bet with the d*ckhead,

how much was it for?

MIKE:

(joking)

Aaah, I can’t remember.

They both laugh. Harvey is finished emailing.

HARVEY:

All right, you start a week from Monday.

Here’s what you’re gonna do...

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - TWO DAYS LATER

Mike packs a small bag with a couple of days worth of clothes

as the rest of their conversation continues in voice over.

HARVEY (V.O.)

First off, that’s it for the pot. We

drug test. Stop now, you’ll be fine. I

assume that’s all the drugs you do.

MIKE (V.O.)

(Harvey was on the money)

How do you know that?

HARVEY (V.O.)

You read books, I read people. And pot

heads smoke pot. That’s what they do.

MIKE (V.O.)

That’s not all I do.

Mike takes a tiny bag of pot and heads into the bathroom.

HARVEY (V.O.)

You’re Albert freaking Einstein, but you

couldn’t manage to go to law school. You

think that’s not from pot?

MIKE (V.O.)

Trevor got me kicked out of college. How

would I have gotten into law school?

Mike hesitates, then flushes the bag down the toilet.

HARVEY (V.O.)

That’s another thing. You’re gonna ditch

that briefcase and your boy Trevor.

Mike checks his cell: he’s had six missed calls from Trevor.

HARVEY (V.O.)

Then you’re gonna get on a plane to

Harvard and you’re gonna learn everything

there is about going to law school there.

Mike pulls out the briefcase with the pot from behind the

couch. He shoves it to the back of his oven, puts a couple

pizza boxes in front to hide it, closes the oven and exits.

HARVEY (V.O.)

Now get out of here. Oh, one more thing,

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