Summer Page #2

What we gonna do with you, Shaun?

I don't know.

Alright?

- How's your mam?

- She's alright.

Tell her I'll see her on Friday.

I will do.

- Don't forget.

- I won't.

Give us a chip.

- Do you ever stop f***ing eating?

- Give me the brown sauce.

Oh, that is disgusting.

How can you eat that?

- Do you want one?

- You are sick.

That's what my mum said last night.

She thinks I've got worms

cos I'm not eating her vegetables.

They're f***ing foul though.

Come on.

- Where are we going, then?

- To rob a bank.

- Smartarse.

- Fanny.

Three months?

I don't go back

till I start secondary.

- Lucky bastard.

- I should've broke his neck.

- Three months off school?

- I fractured his skull.

- I need to hit someone.

- Hit Smithy, he wouldn't notice.

- What did your mam say?

- She's not bothered.

- Really?

- Weren't my fault anyway.

- You coming?

- F*** it, come on.

You f***er!

- F***!

- Shaun!

- F***!

- F***ing hell!

Jesus f***ing hell!

So what I want to try today

is a basic job application letter. OK?

So off you go.

Any problems, just give us a shout.

That's very good.

Good. Good stuff.

Shaun? Are you OK?

- Do you want a hand?

- Yeah.

OK. Let's have a look.

Good. Not a bad start.

Now, why don't you try

the other kind of "would"?

Yeah?

- Half right, then?

- You'll get there.

Is that a promise?

- Shaun, are you online?

- No. Well, aye.

- You're meant to be learning.

- I know.

- It's not porn again, is it?

- No, that was an accident.

You were printing it out. In colour.

Well, it looks crap in black and white.

Two minutes

and I want that letter finished off.

Yes, miss.

- Stop it. You'll put the f***er out.

- I won't.

God, it's freezing.

- Get closer to the fire.

- Lend us your jumper.

Ta.

That's it now.

You two are gonna have to get married.

Shut up.

- Swot.

- Thicko.

- What are you smiling about?

- Nowt.

Oh.

Thanks.

Love you.

You're meant to say you love me.

Are you OK?

Aye, apart from

this f***ing bramble up my hole.

Don't!

Oi, Shaun.

Hey up, they've come up for air.

She doesn't look that happy about it.

Let's be serious,

it's hardly winning the jackpot,

mating in a bush with f***ing Daz.

Sh*t! F***ing hell, Shaun, leg it.

- Come on.

- Come on!

Come on!

What the hell are you doing?

Shaun, f***ing hurry up!

The f***ing bastard's got a gun.

Come on!

Oh, f***!

F***. Do you think

he was watching us? You know.

Dirty bastard.

Oh.

I'll be late.

- Oi. Any of you lot seen Tracy's pants?

- Her pants?

My mam'll kill me.

I only got them last week.

Daz'll go back for them.

Yeah, and get a shotgun up my arse.

Don't be stupid.

I'd go back for Katy's.

- Katy doesn't wear any.

- Daz!

F***ing hell!

Why didn't you f***ing tell me?

I'm still your dad, you know!

- It's no big deal.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- You don't f***ing care if I go!

- I do care!

- It's only a warning.

- Your f***ing last warning, it says.

- Where have you been?

- Hanging out.

Right. I'll have the f***ing bus fares

back, then.

- I've spent it.

- On f***ing drink, I'll bet.

- You want to lecture me on drink?

- You f***ing cheeky little bastard!

- I'll have you!

- Yeah, f*** you, Dad.

F*** you too, you little twat!

- F***ing bastard!

- What's the matter?

College has given the little bastard

a written warning.

- What for?

- I thought he'd been f***ing going.

So did I.

F***ing little sod.

He'd be better off with his f***ing mam!

Probably.

What's up with you?

Oh, nothing.

Weren't she pleased to see you?

- She's busy.

- Busy? Doing what?

Doing very well for herself.

- I f***ing told you, didn't I?

- F*** off, Daz.

What? For f***'s sake, what were you

expecting? A f***ing blow job?

F***ing hell.

What about me shower?

I said what about me shower?

Sorry, mate. You want your shower?

F***ing hell, steady. F***ing hell!

Shaun, what are you f***ing doing?

You dirty bastard!

You f***ing twat!

- It's freezing, you c*nt.

- Your f***ing soap.

F*** off! You f***ing wanker!

For f***'s sake.

I'm f***ing piss-wet through!

It's f***ing freezing, you twat!

I'll f***ing get you for this!

Go on, f*** off and sulk, you twat!

That's it. I'm f***ing out of here, me.

I'm f***ing off with Daniel.

You can f***ing live on your own,

you twat!

I'm f***ing serious, you know!

You f***ing bastard.

- I'm gonna f***ing have you for this.

- F***.

You're on your f***ing own now.

I'm out of here.

- Shaun? What's going on?

- Nothing. I just fell over.

- What's up with Daz?

- F***ing bastard.

Wrong kind of shampoo.

Come on.

You're f***ing sulking still?

F***ing lover boy.

- Blew you out, did she?

- F***ing prick.

Well, f*** you.

If I could get out of this chair,

I'd kick your f***ing head in.

Come back here,

you f***ing soft twat.

Pick on someone your own f***ing size.

Yeehaw! It loves you, Daz.

- Come on, Daz, it loves you, man.

- Get off me case.

Get off me case! F*** off.

It serves you right.

- He could have killed me.

- Huh?

Shaun. He tried to kill me

with that horse.

It's a pony.

Horses have to be bigger.

It looks f***ing big enough to me.

What are you doing?

Shaun's coursework.

Right. But that ain't exactly...

It's not very...

- What?

- It's not very neat, is it?

It's not meant to be, is it?

If it has perfect handwriting,

they might think he had help.

Oh, yeah, that's true.

- You gonna help with mine, then?

- No.

That's not fair, is it?

- You're not doing any exams, are you?

- No.

You haven't got any coursework,

have you?

No.

Now go away.

- He's coming.

- Go on.

- What, on that?

- Aye. Go on.

Piece of piss, mate. Watch.

- How's it going?

- Finished.

Am I going to pass?

Of course. Just remember

to write your name on the exam.

That's me f***ed then.

What's he trying to do to it?

- How do I get on him?

- F*** knows.

Stay still.

I don't even want to know.

Shaun. It's OK. It's me.

Katy?

Shauny. Shaun!

Shaun, it's my dad.

You alright?

Alright, go back to bed.

I'll be there in a minute.

- Hi.

- Hello.

I'm looking for Katy Biggs.

I'm afraid she's very busy.

Right. I came a long way,

just on the off chance, you know.

I'll see if she's free.

He says his name's Shaun Sedman.

He says that he knows you.

What do you want me to tell him?

Erm...

Katy, are you OK?

Yeah. Sorry. Erm...

You just... I can't see him.

Can you just tell him I'm with a client?

OK.

I'll make sure she gets that.

Right.

Oh, f***!

- F***ing thing!

- Sedman!

One more noise out of you...

- Sit down.

- Listen, I can't do it.

I can't f***ing do it.

Get out now!

You're gonna be fine.

- Mrs Sedman?

- Yeah.

Can I have a word, please?

The bones are badly crushed

and he's severed the tendons.

He's lucky not to have lost it.

Will he still be able to use it?

He might have some use.

It's difficult to say.

- Right.

- How did this happen?

They said he did it to himself.

Why would he do that?

- He gets upset at school.

- Upset?

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