Summer of 8

---

Who am I?

Who will I become?

What does it all mean?

It's what I'm supposed

to be asking, right?

But, right now,

I'd do anything

for the answer

to just one question.

"Are you proud of me?"

Big day tomorrow, dad.

Your son is off to college.

I've still got morning

wood, so this better be

f***ing worth it.

But that's tomorrow.

It's a little bit early,

Jesse. What's going on?

What would make

this day perfect?

What the f***

you talking about?

I'm talking about

a perfect day.

What would it

look like?

Man, I just want to

drink it in.

No, you fucks.

I mean, I literally,

i just like, uh,

i wanna start drinking

and I don't wanna stop

until I'm just knee-deep

in some forbidden p*ssy.

Fair enough, I can

make that happen.

The drinking part.

How about you?

I got to tell her.

Be bold, brother.

You've got

nothing to lose.

My oldest

and dearest friend,

what do you want?

What will make

our last day together

perfect?

Nothing, man.

I want nothing.

Today, boys,

everything's possible.

I'm still confused

why this circle jerk couldn't

wait till the sun came up.

Take it easy.

My mom's making breakfast.

Is she making that thing...

With that thing... Jesse!

Jesse, wait.

Yeah, yeah,

she's making your thing.

Have you not

planned this out at all?

I was just saying,

you've had four years

to do this.

Are we good, we all done?

Amazing.

Good.

- Give this to me.

- No, no, no, no.

We've got it.

You've done enough.

Thank you, Bobby.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Where are my manners?

Yeah, where are your manners?

Up your ass...

- I'm sorry, Diane.

- I'll live.

- You look beautiful today.

- Thank you.

- Smooth.

- Your mom...

- Whatever... shut up.

- Your mom loves you.

Is Lily coming over?

Yeah, in a bit.

Have you decided

what you gonna do?

No.

I don't know.

I mean,

Lily is...

I know.

But... I mean,

isn't college supposed to be

about new experiences?

Sure.

What do you think

i should do?

Well, I could tell you

but I don't think

you're gonna like it.

Try me.

You should follow

your heart.

Oh, thank you,

very helpful.

Oh, that's my job.

Follow your heart.

Nan and pop were high

school sweethearts, right?

Hmm-mmm.

Yup, each other's

one and only.

What was their secret?

Ah, she was his calm.

That's it?

That is it.

Pop was a thinker,

like you.

And when those wheels

would start spinning

in the middle of the night

and he couldn't

get back to sleep,

the only thing

that would get him there

would be the touch

of nan's hand.

Right on his back,

or his arm,

out like a light.

She was his calm.

I mean it.

You follow

that heart of yours,

it will tell you when

you've found your match.

Trust me.

You must miss him

so much.

I see him every day.

Go, go have fun.

How you doing?

Hi.

What's going on?

Hey, douchebag.

All right, well, I believe

we have diem to carpe.

Cheers.

Why would you do that? No!

May we?

Oh, not without a drink,

I'm afraid.

Rules are rules.

Hey, can you be a doll

and fetch me two beers?

Can you be a doll

and lick my nut sack?

Oh, my god.

Who talks like that?

Want a beer? Oh! Come on!

Thank you so much.

It helps.

Have a good time!

Thanks.

All right, you guys

are going down.

Oh-ho-ho,

boys against girls.

How exciting.

Okay. Hmm.

Here you go.

I got this.

You got it.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You're going down.

Hmm.

Do that strut.

Good luck.

Thank you.

Oh, and, uh...

Ha-ha!

Taken!

That was just cruel.

Emily.

Five, four, three,

two, mwah, one.

Ha-ha.

You are crazy.

Wow!

You, uh, care to share?

I make a wish.

Every time I throw, I...

It's like

blowing an eyelash.

That's my secret trick.

Helps me concentrate.

Here's the problem with love.

Even for us hopeless

suckers who want it,

nothing beats

the "falling in love" part.

How the littlest looks can

send shivers down your spine.

How you can spend days

imagining what her lips

must feel like.

How soft her skin must be.

But see, that's the

problem with love.

Once you fall in love,

the "falling in love"

part is over.

Speaking of ass sucking,

which one do you want?

Are you serious?

Don't you think Jen and Emily

know you a bit too well?

What the f*** is that

supposed to mean?

Means they know you're

a disgusting f***ing pig.

Well, what's your point?

Whatever, man,

this is your last shot.

Speak now

or forever hold your peace.

Yeah, I'll take

my chances.

Well, they're both mine

then, I guess.

Hi, Aiden.

Hi, buddy.

That's my boy!

Must have been

a hell of a wish.

Yeah.

Looks like fun.

Horseshoes?

Yeah.

Knock yourself out.

I suppose

it's too much to ask

that you at least pretend

like you want to spend

your last day with us?

Pretending really

isn't in my DNA.

No, it is not.

You know

it's not you guys.

It's just...

I'm ready.

Ready to get outta here.

Ready for tomorrow.

Yes!

Tomorrow's coming.

You might as well enjoy

yourself in the meantime.

You're not thinking

what I think

you're thinking?

Oh.

Oh, she's doing that thing.

She's doing that...

I f***in' love it

when they do that thing.

They know that we love it

when they do that thing,

right? I mean, they must.

That's probably exactly

why they do it, duh.

What do you think

they're talking about?

You need to f***in' smoke

some more weed, dude.

Don't you f***ing say it.

Don't!

- Calm down.

- Why?

You're such a dick, dude.

You're so lucky

you didn't tell me

to relax.

I f***in' hate it

when people tell me

to relax.

I absolutely hate it.

It's like, who do

you think you are comin' in

to Oscar's space

and f***in' with my vibe.

Who gave you that

right? I didn't.

I didn't do that.

Tell me to relax.

You f***ing relax.

Phew. Seriously, though,

what do you think

they're talking about?

You think they're

talking about us?

Yeah, sure.

Wow.

Hey, Oscar.

What's up, brother?

F***in' relax.

It's a fight, f***er.

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Here, b*tch.

Ugh!

Idiots.

Em.

Yeah?

Here you go.

Look at these guys,

they're like walking hormones.

They are only good

for one thing,

which conveniently for me,

is the only thing

that I want from them.

As you go and

suck your bottle.

I think they've got

a bit more to offer

than that.

May be some do.

May be.

Well, I can't be bothered

to sift through all your

friends, who's got the time?

Do you think

guys are gonna be

any better in college?

I hope not. I like them

just the way they are.

Uncomplicated.

Nipple placement

is critical.

Hey, guys.

You and Serena were, like,

having a pretty good time.

F***, it's horseshoes.

What do you want me to say?

Baby steps, brother.

Baby steps.

I don't know, man.

What?

Man, you and Bobby, dude,

you just don't get it.

And you do, Mr. take-your-

pick-between-two-girls-

who-can't-f***ing-stand-you?

That doesn't matter.

Yeah, it does.

No, it do...

If any of us want to bang

girls for more sexual

experience before college,

it has to be today.

I'm talking all of us.

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