Summer of Blood Page #9

somebody is eating me

from the inside, goddamn.

Listen, I love you, okay.

You're my little baby doll,

okay.

We got married,

I will give you my everything,

my cock,

I will give you my testicles,

they all belong to you.

My hands, my palms,

my fingerprints,

my feet, they're all yours.

You can keep your feet.

Yeah, my little sphincter

belongs to you.

No, I don't...

You can keep that.

- My heart belongs to you.

- That's nice.

Okay, okay, okay, go, go.

Please, okay.

I love you.

Can I get you anything while I'm out?

No, just don't forget to bring your phone.

Huh, what?

Your phone, don't forget

to bring your phone.

That's right.

See, I'm a changed person.

Be careful.

I got a Motorola Tracfone

for you.

I got it here.

I'll text you pictures,

my honey.

- I love you.

- I love you.

I love you, bye...

Who's your friend?

Why don't you introduce us?

Hey, Penelope,

it's you, oh my God.

Hi.

How are you?

I've been running into

everyone in New York lately.

Yeah, me too.

Wow.

You clean up nicely.

Thank you.

You look very

handsome in a tuxedo.

You look good.

Thank you.

Really good.

Well, what's the occasion?

Oh, it's just a wedding.

Oh, who's getting married?

Just a friend.

I'm back.

Did you eat?

Yeah.

What did you have?

Um, you don't want to know.

You don't want to know that.

Yeah I do.

Did you eat a rat?

Yeah, right. That's exactly

what I had, a rat.

Aren't you glad

I didn't bite you now?

This is what you would

have to look forward to.

Yeah, I mean,

on second thought.

Yeah, I going to

go to the bathroom.

Okay!

Erik, did you order

room service?

Huh.

There's someone at the door.

Yeah, get it.

Can I help you?

Yes.

Can I come in?

Um, I think you

have the wrong...

Erik!

Yeah.

I followed you.

Oh, do you two know

one another?

Yes, he just bit me!

I need to go wipe!

I'm so sorry to bother you but,

I just feel kind of confused.

Like, my legs feel weird.

It kind of feels like shrooming,

but way better.

Erik, get out here now.

Wow, you are bossy.

Do you always talk

to him like this?

I'm here.

I'm here.

Erik, did you bite her?

I've never seen

this woman in my life.

Oh my God,

that is such bologna.

We work together

and he used to masturbate to

pictures of me in the bathroom.

- That's not true.

- Yes it is.

Jamie installed a spy camera

in the ceiling of the bathroom,

and he made a video of you.

He has like, ten videos.

What?

He did what?

Your husband's a pervert.

I'm not the pervert.

Jamie's the pervert.

Did he really do that?

And you all watched me?

- He installed a video camera?

- I didn't. Everybody else did.

Everybody at work

saw me jerking off?

I didn't.

I don't like porn.

I watch the History channel.

- Erik, did you bite her?

- No, I did not bite her.

- Yes.

- No, I didn't.

Yes.

Maybe a little bit.

See, and I really wish

you would do it again,

because it felt good.

She's a crazy woman.

She's out of her mind.

She's a lunatic.

Look at her.

Look at her.

She's a... she's a...

- What are you doing?

- I'm leaving.

You can't go,

not on our wedding night,

- Listen...

- I'm such an idiot.

I'm the idiot, okay.

Listen...

I am not an idiot.

I have an IQ of 150.

Will you please...

- Bullshit, no you don't.

- I do.

I was a child prodigy,

and I got a perfect score

on my SAT's.

Don't do this, listen.

Erik, I don't care what you have to say.

"Jody, I'm sorry. Jody, I love you.

Jody, I made a mistake."

It's not cute any more.

Ooh, I want some.

Hey, that's enough.

Hey, come on,

you're going to hurt her.

You're going to kill her.

Stop it.

Okay.

Be gentle with her.

She's my wife.

Some husband you are,

going around biting other woman

on your wedding night.

You're right.

Jesus, I really

screwed everything up.

Do you believe in Jesus?

No, why would you ask me that?

Well, you just said

"Jesus Christ I really

screwed everything up."

It's just an expression,

it's like,

"Jiminy Crickets,

I screwed everything up,

gosh darn it."

Yeah, but Jiminy Cricket

wasn't a prophet. He was kind of a prophet,

I mean, like,

to Pinocchio, sort of.

He was Pinocchio's conscience.

Yeah, but he said wise

things to Pinocchio,

like a prophet does.

But he wasn't a prophet.

He was a cricket.

God, Penelope, who cares?

See, there you go again

with the God thing.

So what.

I really think

you believe in God.

Do you believe in God?

Sure.

But you have an IQ of 150.

Yeah, well, science hasn't

scientifically proven

that God doesn't exist,

not definitively.

- Do you believe in prayer?

- What do you mean?

Do you believe that God

answers prayers?

I think it depends on

what the person prays for.

Would you pray with me now?

Okay.

Okay.

Dear Mr. God,

Mrs. God, whatever.

I don't normally pray but

because of all the crazy sh*t,

stuff that's been

happening recently,

I figured your existence

might not be so far-fetched,

after all.

It's funny that

I've never prayed,

because I'm a very

selfish person

and I consider daily prayer

a pretty selfish act.

I mean, "ask and

you shall receive?"

That sounds pretty selfish.

It's kind of like sitting on

Santa Claus' lap

every night before

you go to bed and saying

"Hey Santa, I want this

and Santa I want that."

And well, I thought

I'd take you up on that.

I mean, you can pray

for others too.

I pray for the sick

and the unfortunate.

I pray for other

people's happiness.

I pray for world peace.

There's no such thing.

World peace is impossible,

okay.

Well, it's like the general idea

that you don't just

pray for yourself.

You pray for others.

Okay, this isn't

that kind of prayer.

This is a selfish prayer, okay.

Let me have my selfish prayer.

Okay, okay, be selfish.

God, please make me

normal again.

Please make Penelope normal

again if that's possible.

At least take away her desire

to drink blood and f*** sh*t up.

Please forgive us

for biting Jody.

That was a mistake

and I love her so much.

If it's possible too, God,

could you forgive me for all

horrible things that I've done?

I've done terrible things.

Someone once told me that

all you have to do is

ask for forgiveness

and you'll forgive them,

o matter what.

I find it very comforting

that you're such a pushover.

Anyway, if you could just

take away our affliction,

our disease,

I promise to believe in you for perpetuity, or

for the end of time, or you know, whatever.

Penelope, do you

want to add anything?

Don't forget world peace.

Oh yeah, God, please do

what you can for world peace

and maybe grant everybody

happiness if you can,

except for all those

corporate shithead,

super rich motherfuckers

who are are making

the world a worse place

than it probably

would be otherwise.

Anyway, yeah, that's about all.

Dominus forbiscum,

et Tu spirit Tu Tu oh.

Allah Hallah.

Jesus Christ.

In the name of the holy father,

and the holy ghost and

the holy manger, Amen.

Amen.

She's awake.

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