Summer Rental

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- Good morning, Dad.

- Morning, Jennifer.

When you were in school,

did you ever cut class?

Yeah. Most kids cut classes.

- Good. Sign this.

- Get your mother to sign it. I'm late.

But Mom doesn't understand.

She never cut classes.

- Mommy never cut classes.

- Will you stop copying me?

- Jack, breakfast!

- I haven't time.

Make time. You can't start your day

without a good breakfast.

Yeah, I made it for you, Dad!

Breakfast is my class project.

- What did you make?

- Spaghetti and one hard-boiled egg.

Tell you what, hold the spaghetti, throw

in another egg and I'll eat it in the car.

Jack!

Jack!

You stop, or I'll shoot! Jack!

- Go away, I'm late.

- What's in the cup?

- Herbal tea.

- Liar. Give it to me.

I like coffee! It picks me up.

It gives you heartburn

and flattens your adrenals.

- How does it feel to always be right?

- I revel in it.

Watch your toes, Mother Teresa.

- I love you!

- Bring it up now when I'm going to work.

Great!

Don't they teach those kids anything?

You're supposed to put it in cold water

after you boil them.

Wonderful.

Not bad.

If you did contribute, the Lord

will guarantee you a place in heaven.

Will there be weeping

and gnashing of teeth, or...?

Jesus said, "Don't talk to me

when I'm talking to you..."

- Jeez!

...an enemy of the Lord?

Wouldn't you like the Reverend Archie's

personally edited Bible in your home?

Jeez!

My fault, it was my fault! My fault!

I should've told him

to boil the other egg.

Son of a b*tch, why don't you come

back and try that again? Moron!

- Hey, excuse me! Hello?

- Sorry, pal, I'm late.

What am I supposed to do?

Wait here all day?

This is great. Nice way to start the day.

Oh, God! I'm not built for this.

Damn! I'm going to get that guy.

I'm late now.

What are these things for?

I've been here ten years.

They know who I am by now.

Stupid thing!

I'm late again. This is going to look good.

You descend and maintain 12,000.

Pan Am three, descend to 15,000.

- Then turn right to 2-5-0 degrees.

- This is Pan Am three, say again.

I say again, descend to 15,000

and turn right to 2-5-0.

A Lufthansa jumbo is in that space.

What are you trying to do? Mate us?

Pan Am three, disregard.

Maintain at 17,000

and present heading 2-2-0.

United three-two, turn right,

heading 1-7-0.

American four-one, reduce ten knots.

And you,

November-three-four-seven-Golf...

Where are you?

Where the hell are you?

Come in! Where are you? I should...

Acknowledge, please!

Acknowledge! Where are you?

- It's OK.

- No!

- I got a small plane here I can't find.

- Jack...

...a fly landed on your screen.

I hate flies! I hate them. Filthy things!

They do that, that's what they do.

Jack, let's take your break.

- Hal, can't you pull some strings for me?

- The Agency gave you a mandatory five.

You've been landing planes for 13 years.

Face it, you're burned out.

It's not a dirty word in this business.

As your friend, you need this rest.

I can't believe they're doing this!

Just because of a fly!

- Rats! That hurt!

- What's he kicking, Mom?

- I don't know.

- Oh, boy!

He's just a little over...

- Daddy, can I drive?

- Yeah, sure. Why not?

- You can have the second 100 miles.

- Are you going to keep doing that?

- Bobby, knock it off.

- OK.

I've forgotten something. What is it?

Only the wallpaper,

but we can get some on the road.

Don't mock me, Sandy. It's the first time

I've gone on one of these.

- I'm a little nervous, all right?

- I know. Sorry.

- All got your seat belts on?

- Dad!

All right, here we go.

- All right!

- Yeah!

- All right!

- Can't wait to swim in the ocean.

OK, OK! Next stop, Citrus Cove, Florida.

- Daddy, I have to pee.

- Now I know what I forgot.

- He didn't say how many rooms?

- It's three bedrooms and on a beach.

- It was real nice of Hal to find it for us.

- And to point out I'm cracking up.

You are not cracking up.

You just need a rest.

Didn't we just get back from Hawaii?

Jack, that was our honeymoon.

Yeah. Hey, this might be fun.

Rise and shine, everybody! We're here!

- Hey, look! Water!

- Dad, can we go swimming?

- Look at the water! It's beautiful!

- I told you I'd find Florida.

Now all you have to do

is find Citrus Cove.

Found it.

- Beach Lane. Good navigating, honey.

- Thank you.

- What are we looking for?

- 411, 411...

413...

415! This is it.

Oh, my! Hal is a friend.

It's two storeys, it's redwood...

It's got balconies!

Can I have a balcony room, please?

- This is great!

- Goodness!

- Watch me! OK, Dad, here I go.

- This is gorgeous.

It really is very lovely.

I hope the keys are in the mailbox.

There they are, just like the old man said.

All right, let's go! Come on!

All right, contestants, let's see

what's behind door number one.

- Oh, Jack!

- It's beautiful!

- Look at these glass pieces.

- Mom, this is huge.

Look, they got a piano.

Honey, look at the view!

We're right on the water! Wow!

- It's a brochure.

- It's a postcard.

Don't run up those stairs.

- Bobby, move!

- I'm trying! These are heavy.

- This is heavy, too.

- Hi.

Archie! It's OK,

he's just barking, that's all.

Just barking. Don't be afraid.

Come on, Arch!

He always barks at people he likes.

Come on, Arch!

He must really like you a lot.

Archie, get your ass up here!

- Where do they go?

- Let me help.

No, don't throw off my balance.

Why not empty the U-Haul tomorrow?

No, I'm putting all my suffering into

one day. I don't mind unloading bags.

- I just don't want to do it for a living.

- It's still early.

I'll go to the grocery store. When you've

finished, take the kids swimming.

Swimming?

Gee, I forgot my bathing suit!

Guess I can't go in the water all summer.

Jack, nobody cares what you look like

in a bathing suit.

That's just it.

- I'll pick one up.

- I won't wear it.

- Not until I lose three or four pounds.

- I love the way you look in a bathing suit.

My mother was right. You're twisted.

- What are you looking at?

- Nothing, Dad.

Me neither.

- We want to go in.

- Good idea.

- You guys go for a swim.

- Aren't you coming?

No, I'll watch.

I don't want to get too wet my first day.

- All right. Can you hold these for me?

- Yeah, sure.

There you go.

This thing must be pretty good for $80.

How do you shut it off? Equaliser...

Loud, eh?

Hi. Jack Chester, I'm your neighbour.

And you're?

Having lunch.

Looks good.

Just enjoy. I don't want to bother you.

I'll join you later for Martinis.

Kidding.

Just watching my kids.

I'll be here.

Enjoy.

- Don't worry, it's dead.

- Bobby, I told you not to do that.

Dad, she told me to do it!

- Enough! Just get it out of here.

- Dad, you're kind of red.

Good.

I wanted to get a little colour, you know.

That's a good base.

That's a good base.

You got to do these things in stages.

- Let me put this on.

- Does it look that bad?

Your nose would show up on satellite.

Want me to drive?

I'm OK, as long as

I don't have to make many turns.

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