Super High Me
We got one patient ready to come up.
Just step that way to the
dispense room.
How's it going?
Good, how you doing?
Welcome to the health center.
Thanks.
Nice to be here.
So, like, how would I even begin
to decide which kind to choose?
tolerance.
If you're a first-time patient,
you might want to go with
something a little bit lighter.
It'll give you more of a body high.
Just a little something to give
you the feel of how it's gonna be.
The purples are more, like, if
you have problems sleeping and
back pains at night, you're real
uncomfortable -the purples
will put you to sleep.
The real strong, more potent ones.
They're the more potent ones.
So the 45 automates -those are
the ones that you know you're
gonna get the feeling of it.
I feel high just thinking
about all this.
comic now.
He's very funny.
He's been on VH1.
Let's give it up for
Mr. Doug Benson.
[Cheers and applause]
I saw that movie
"Super Size Me" when I was high.
Mistake!
That is f***ed up, you know?
'Cause the premise of that movie
is that it's bad to eat a lot of
McDonald's, and I'm sitting
there all high, like, thinking,
"oh, I could go for a hot apple
or a frenchie at this point.
Hook me up, man."
And he's just gorging it all on
himself, and then throwing up,
and -ugh, it's disgusting,
that movie.
If that's a movie -if eating
McDonald's for 30 days is a
movie and people are willing to
pay to see it, I've got a movie.
for 30 days, try to remember to
film it, and my movie's gonna be
called "Super High Me" -or
"Business As Usual," I haven't
decided yet on the title.
So that started out as a joke in
my act, and then a filmmaker --
saw me say that, and we had a
discussion, and we're really
f***ing doing it.
Doug Benson -stand-up
comedian, noted pot smoker.
In fact, high times magazine
recently named Doug the
number-two pot comic in the
country, but that doesn't put
So how can this be possible?
In 1996, the citizens of
California passed
proposition 215, which allows
patients to use cannabis for
medical purposes if they get a
recommendation from their doctor.
Common uses for medical cannabis
include chronic pain, HIV/AIDS,
depression, nausea, or a medical
condition your doctor thinks is
appropriate.
Keep in mind the effects of
marijuana vary with every user.
This is the story of just one
marijuana use, even the
number-two pot comic in the
country has no idea what's going
to happen when he gets super high.
I'm not getting high every
day for 30 days yet because
there's a catch.
I have to not get high for 30
days before getting high for 30
days to show how awful it is
when I can't get high at all to
contrast with how awesome the
next 30 days are gonna be, so I
have to not smoke for 30 days,
beginning of August.
# Yeah #
[bell dings]
# Yo #
# I should be sleeping all the
way still #
# rolling with the beat and
this, that, them, there #
# couldn't help but stay up
and jot down some stuff #
so how do you feel first day?
So far, so good.
Boy, that hat made me want to
smoke pot.
Everything reminds me of pot now
that I can't have it.
Traffic lights...
[chuckles]
...when they're green.
[Bell dings]
I may be hospitalized, I think.
Really?
I think so.
Are you saying that to be
funny, or do you really believe that?
Why do you believe you'll be
hospitalized?
It's gonna be nasty, smoking
all day, every day, for 30 days.
lot of pot, but I've never,
like, day and night for every
day for 30 days.
So I'm a little scared.
But how awesome would it be if
it f***ing killed me?
[Audience laughs]
That Spurlock movie would be the
best movie ever made if he just
F***ing grizzly-man style.
Supposedly, your depression
is going to kick in today, if
it's going to kick in, so they
said take this test.
Right, but the only answer I
can give is "rarely."
'cause it's only been one day.
That's okay.
It's how you felt over the past
week, even though you were smoking.
Now we're gonna go, and we're
gonna take the same test in
another week, and that'll be
when you're not smoking.
I just don't -I'm bored
with this one.
'Cause I spent the last week
some days smoking, some days
not, and I barely remember what happened.
So this is day two, and I'm doing great.
So far, it's f***ing not a problem.
I can totally not smoke pot for
two days.
I'm just writing "rarely" on
every one of these.
That's taking it real seriously.
Well, I can't even begin -I
spent the weekend getting
f***ing crazy high all weekend.
I can't remember --
Well, did you feel fearful at
all during the last seven days?
I don't remember!
Maybe, like if I saw a cop
coming or something.
I don't know.
Did you have any crying spells.
No.
Okay.
Did you feel hopeful about the future?
I might have.
These are mostly feelings that I
don't have ever.
Over the course of the two
30-day periods, we're gonna do
lots of tests, like IQ Tests
and lung capacity and just a
bunch of tests, and one of them
is gonna be -they're gonna
check my sperm count, and by
"they," I mean I'm hoping it's a
doctor, and...
[laughs]
I hope it's just not a guy with
a lot of plastic cups that he's
not using.
count, and so my first sperm
check is coming up in three
days, on Thursday, and the thing
about getting your sperm checked
is you can't masturbate or
ejaculate into a lady for -or
whatever your thing is -for
three days.
Three days, and it started
today, so I'm, like, so much
more upset that I can't
masturbate for three days than I
can't smoke pot for 30, because
I'm not looking at pot on the
internet every day.
when you're high.
I could tell, but they couldn't.
Untrained eye couldn't tell, but
I could tell.
It was still good, though.
Well, I'm glad you still
liked it.
The prohibition against
marijuana began in 1937.
Since then, in order to obtain
your medicine, you had to visit
"a guy," but with the passing of
Proposition 215, California
citizens are allowed to open up
dispensaries to legally sell
cannabis to qualified patients.
To repeat that for the stoners
showing up late, in California,
you can legally buy pot in a
store like you're buying beer or cookies.
# Da da da da da da da dum
dum dum #
right now, it's just a
free-for-all.
It's the wild west?
Wild, wild west.
And I'm Jesse James, I guess,
right now.
It's really stressful, me being
in this for about a year now.
Man, when I started, there was,
like, four of us.
First-time patient?
Come on in.
Yeah, come on in.
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"Super High Me" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/super_high_me_19130>.
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