Super Mario Bros. Page #2

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well, we think it could be what

destroyed all the dinosaurs.

Wow, there were

dinosaurs in Brooklyn?

Relax, Luigi.

There used to be Dodgers here too.

Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't you come on down

to the tanning salon...

and I can hook you up

with some free tans.

Bring a nice bathing suit.

Something strapless so you don't get a tan line.

- And you want to take off that rock.

- Well, actually, you know...

I, I never take it off.

Well, I know it sounds weird,

but, I mean...

it's the only thing I have

from when I was found.

- Found?

- Oh, I was abandoned.

- Ohh!

- I grew up at St. Theresa's on Fulton street.

You mean, you don't know who

your mother and your father are neither?

No.

What do you mean "neither"?

'Cause Mario here brought me up.

- He's been my mother my whole life.

- Hey!

My father, my father! He's been my

father, my uncle, my brother, everybody.

Well, what are you two kids

gonna do tonight?

Well, we could take

the van back ourselves.

Um, if you're not doing

anything later tonight...

I would like to walk you home.

Okay.

- Spike! Spike!

- Iggy.

- Where're you going? That's not the girl.

- I'm goin' to get the girl.

Yes, it is. She's wearing a disguise.

I can spot her a mile away.

Of course she's wearing a disguise.

She thinks she can fool us.

- I'm gonna go get her.

- I'm gonna go get her.

Wait a minute. We'll follow her,

and then we'll both go get her.

- Good idea. I bag her, you grab her.

- No, I grab her, you bag her.

- That's what I said.

- Exactly.

- This is the one.

- That's what you said about the last four girls.

- I did?

- You did.

Outta my way!

You know, I just wanna say

one thing first.

I want to apologize right now, in case...

when I start to get talkin'...

and I start to say things

that sound really weird...

Uh, weird? Weird... Look, weird

is working in a bone pit all day.

And then spending your nights reading about

things that have been dead for 65 million years.

- I mean, that is weird.

- Well, I... I find that fascinating.

And I mean... You know what,

if you just wanna end this right now...

- I would understand.

- You know, I was gonna ask you the same thing.

If, if you wanna end this right now

and you feel bad about that...

but you wanna talk to somebody

about it, you could call me.

You really think what I do

is interesting?

I think it's incredible.

Well, you know...

if you want...

I could show you.

I'd love you to show me.

Show me.

- See you tomorrow.

- Okay. Good night, okay?

Drive carefully.

Mario!

You don't stand a chance.

I won.

That's what you think.

Oh, that was sneaky.

We don't even have

any security here.

That's what I was calling

about on the phone today.

You see, I can't get the university

to give me any extra money.

- Is that why you were talking about Scapelli?

- Yeah, well...

Scapelli was down here with his crew

blasting at the site...

and that's when

they found the fossils.

- Are you sure you know where you're goin'?

- It's just ahead.

Is this your office or somethin'?

Doesn't it give you the creeps?

Well, it's more like a home.

I feel comfortable down here.

Comfortable? Okay.

- Well, this is it. Have a look.

- Wow!

Awesome!

Oh, check this out!

These are all strange new species.

Look at this one.

The way the bones fit here...

and the opposable thumb.

It's almost as if... he was a monster

trying to be a human being.

It's beautiful.

You're beautiful.

- Oh, my... Hey! Hey!

- Hey, you guys!

- It's the Scapellis!

- Oh, no!

Well, what did they, they do?

What've you got down there?

They're destroying everything.

Is it the sump pump?

Thank God you're here! I mean...

- What do you mean?

- I mean, you're a plumber, right?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I don't know exactly what to do.

- Mario, Scapelli's floodin' the site!

- We need your help.

- Scapelli?

- Yeah.

Strap your belt on, kid.

We're goin' in.

Scapelli's been trying to force us out

ever since we got here. It's sabotage.

Down here! Hurry!

- This way!

- Allow me. I'm a professional.

- Looks like the bottom one, right?

- Yeah.

- One and 1/16, open- ended.

- One and 1/16, open- ended.

Wrong again. How many times

have we got this wrong?

- You've gotten it wrong five times.

- "O" for five, "O" for five.

- What percent is that?

- I don't know. Let me think.

I don't know,

but it's not good.

If we get it wrong one more time,

he's gonna kill us.

He's not gonna kill us.

He's not that nice.

Up ahead. It's her.

I sense her.

I definitely know it's her.

Basin wrench.

- Basin wrench.

- Great.

- Here. Hand.

- Hand.

Now, does this guy know his stuff,

or does this guy know his stuff, huh?

- Okay, you ready?

- Say when.

Let's go... now.

Scapelli's just an amateur.

Aaah!

Daisy? Daisy, where are you?

Daisy! Answer me! Daisy, where are you?

Come on, let's go this way.

- No, no. No, it's this way.

- Come on, let's go this way.

- That's the echo.

- How do you know?

- I've been listening to pipes all my life. Come on.

- Okay, come on.

Daisy!

Luigi, this is a mistake. It's a dead end.

Come on, let's turn back.

- Okay, then you go back.

- Luigi, please.

Give me the light.

Come on, give me the light.

Daisy?

Luigi, you see how deep that is?

Get back.

- Aaah! Lean back!

- The light!

Let it go!

- Oh, God!

- Ahhh!

Hold on to me.

Daisy?

- Watch it.

- Luigi!

You see that?

Help me!

Daisy! Is that you?

Luigi!

- No!

- Luigi!

- Daisy?

- Get off of me!

No!

- Did you see that?

- Yeah, did you?

- Yeah.

- Oh.

That's solid rock!

- I got a feelin'.

- No, Luigi, forget it.

- I gotta go with it.

- Forget it, it's rock.

Look down there. Luigi!

Luigi!

I don't believe this.

- Mario!

- I disintegrated. Am I still here?

What is this place?

There she is, come on!

Come on, let's go, run!

- Where are you taking me?

- Back to where you belong.

- No, you're hurting me!

- I'm gonna kill 'em!

No, you're not gonna kill 'em.

Not if I get there first.

I'm gonna break every bone in their body,

and then I'm gonna kill 'em.

I'm really gonna kill 'em.

- Help me!

- Daisy, I'm coming!

- Get off of me!

- Excuse me.

- You better not hurt her!

- Help!

Grade- A Express

to Koopa Canyon!

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Gentlemen,

the Koopa Union is cancelled.

- Passengers transfer at Koopa Square.

- Get out of my way!

Where the hell are we?

This is crazy!

We went under the river, but this can't

be Manhattan. Where is this place?

I don't know, I ain't been

to Manhattan in a couple of weeks.

Must've been

a bad couple of weeks.

- No!

- There she is!

- Daisy!

- Luigi?

- Daisy!

- Luigi!

- Mario!

- We're coming!

- You better not hurt her! Somebody, do something!

- Hey!

- No stalling up traffic. Move along!

- Somebody stop her! Daisy!

- Are you a cop, or what?

- Come on, get off me, man!

- Are you okay?

- I'm okay, yeah.

- You're the one without the patent.

- Yeah, well, you're the old one.

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