Super Mario Bros. Page #4

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Things evolve from primeval slime...

up to single- cell organisms...

up to... intelligent life.

De- evolution, of course,

works the opposite way.

Back to simpler forms. For instance...

even our musical friend, Toad...

can become... a loyal child

of the royal family.

Goombas, ah!

- Why'd you do that to him?

- Hey, no, no!

Not now, not now.

What single- cell organism

did you evolve from?

Tyrannosaurus Rex, the lizard king,

thank you very much.

Goomba.

Whereas my evolution was wonderful

and sweet, your de- evolution...

will be a living nightmare

if you don't tell me...

where that meteorite piece is.

That's Toad?

Yes. Loyal...

lethal...

and stupid.

Goomba, walk tall.

Be proud. Go, Goomba!

Join the Goombas.

Guards, guards,

arrest these plumbers!

- De- evolve.

- You're goin'back...

- where you belong, lizard.

- Help me! Help me!

- Keep going. Got it?

- Got it.

Yeah! Let's get outta here!

I'll kill that plumber!

We're back in

the police station!

Hey, Mario, look at this. These little

mushroom things on the fungus.

Great! A building

with athlete's foot!

Hey, look at that.

What is that?

Goombas!

Come on, let's go!

Well, look! It was trying

to give us that thing.

- Swing. Keep swinging.

- Okay.

- I'm swinging, I'm swinging.

- Just keep hanging. Close your eyes.

Hey, hey, hey, look what he's doing!

- Yee- haw!

- Hang on.

Hey, man, this is fun!

Whoa!

- Get ready. Get ready.

- What was that?

- I'm ready, I'm ready!

- Whoo!

Ooh, yeh! Yeh, yeh!

Now!

All right, which door?

- Okay, my instinct tells me this one.

- Come on, come on.

- Let's go in this one.

- Oh!

- Come on!

- I'm coming.

- Let's get outta here!

- Here we... Okay.

- They got us! What're we gonna do?

- Number one.

- We steal this car. Number two. I'm driving.

- All right.

- Help me, man!

- Come on!

Hey, wait for me!

Don't take off!

- Okay.

- Let's see what I got over here.

Now where's the starter

on this thing?

I got a feeling about this,

Mario- rooni.

I can't believe

you can do that.

Comes from sittin' on my butt all day

playing video games.

Got it!

- Let's get outta here.

- Let's hit the bricks.

Hey!

Security alert.

Stand by for special bulletin.

Mario, look!

- You look terrible!

- You don't look so good yourself.

Alien species

escaping from police detention.

- Aliens? We gotta deal with aliens too?

- Luigi, we're the aliens.

We are? Whoa, cool!

- Hey, Mario, you're going the wrong way!

- How would you know?

- Trust me.

- Huh!

- You're driving like a maniac! Would you watch it?

- You wanna drive?

- I'm not riding with you anymore.

- Okay, you drive.

No, what are you doing?

- How're you steering this?

- I'm not.

I hope the guy downstairs

knows where we're going.

Yeah, hey!

This is drivin'!

Cool, Mario.

Brace yourself! Now!

- All right!

- Ahhhh!

Glug, glug, glug, glug!

Which way?

- Take the parkway.

- Right.

Perfect. Perfect.

- You said the parkway.

- I know, but I wanted the tunnel...

so I said parkway 'cause I knew

you'd go the opposite way I suggested.

Hey, watch it!

What're you doing?

Warning.

Leaving power grid. Powering down.

I can't stop this thing.

I can't see where I'm going!

Look out, Mario!

- Hit the brakes! Do something!

- There are no brakes!

- This fungus is gonna kill us!

- We're gonna hit the end of the tunnel! Look out!

Hey, was that superior

drivin' skills or what?

Let's get outta here before

this fungus stuff eats us alive!

Hey, the fungus just saved us.

What're you talkin' about?

It was my drivin' that saved us.

It wasn't your driving.

That tunnel just sneezed us out.

And then this giant booger caught us

in the air. That's what saved us.

Ah, come on!

Let's get outta here.

- Uh- huh! You there! Excuse me, sir.

- Sorry.

Sir! I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

We didn't mean to disturb you.

But the plumbers, they're in the tunnel.

They're on their way to the desert.

What are you doing here instead of

being in the desert heading them off?

That's exactly what I told him, sir.

Exactly what I told him.

Between you and me, Spike hasn't got

a thought in his brain, sir.

Huh, huh!

He's a liar, sir.

Between us, Iggy doesn't have

a brain in his head.

- I agree.

- They're your relatives.

- Wait outside!

- We'll wait outside.

- You blew it.

- You, Lena, bring me the princess.

And have her cleaned up.

Do you know

what I love about mud?

It's clean and it's dirty

at the same time.

The princess.

- Are you here to help us?

- Hardly.

Now let me guess

which one of you...

is Daisy.

Princess Daisy.

- Princess?

- What?

- Princess Daisy?

- This is gettin' weird.

Ah...

you have your mother's eyes.

Come with me.

Good- bye, Spike.

I'm gonna miss ya.

Have a nice trip.

See ya next fall.

Evolve. Advanced.

Good choice, cousin. I always thought

he'd make a great Goomba.

Bye, Spike.

Ah, our not- so- benevolent

dictator, as it were.

- Ignatius, do you know what the square root of 26,481 is?

- What are you talking about?

- One- hundred ninety- one.

- What?

What are you doing? Not me.

No, no, not me, cousin!

Not me! Spike!

Help me, Spike!

Perhaps if I could just

make you idiots smarter...

- you won't screw up this time.

- Please, not me. Not me, cuz. No.

No- o- o!

Oh, my.

How peculiar.

That's quite an agreeable

transmogrification.

- More like a... transfiguration.

- Ah! A super- metamorphosis.

- Huh?

- Enough!

- Both of you go to the desert!

- Excuse me, excuse me.

That hardly seems logical,

does it?

Perhaps we should stay

and formulate our own strategy.

Tete- a- tete, inner circle,

that sort of thing.

Here's what's logical to me.

If you do not return

with the plumbers and the rock...

I shall personally kill you.

- We're going.

- After you, Ignatius.

- It was your mother's.

- What do you know about my mother?

She was quite an inspiration...

to some.

When Koopa took over, she stole the rock

and smuggled you to the other side.

Then she died.

What about my father, is he alive?

It depends on what

you mean by living.

- What are you talking about?

- Listen to me.

I don't care

whose daughter you are.

Koopa thinks you're the only one

who can merge the dimensions.

I've waited too long

to let all this slip away.

- Well, you said the tunnel.

- I did not!

- I said parkway!

- But you meant the tunnel.

Go on, pick a direction.

Any direction you like.

Hey, that looks good. Over there, huh?

That's it. Let's die there.

Are the Goombas training with

the hand- held de- evolution gun?

- As we speak, sir.

- Excellent.

After the merge it will be nice to see

the humans de- evolve, won't it?

What is it that they come from?

I keep forgetting.

- It's mice or something.

- Apes, sir. Monkeys.

Disgusting mammals.

Your princess is here.

Well, my, my. Looks like you got up on

the wrong side of the nest this morning.

- You're a...

- Go ahead and say it.

Dinosaur.

Yoshi is a pet of the royal family.

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