Superman 3 Page #4

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I really have to be going.

So long, Ricky. Bye.

We were flying, Mom!

What were you doing, anyway?

I was looking for Buster.

I found him!

Come on, boy. That's it.

Mr. Kent, Superman was here!

- What?

- Yes, he really was.

Aren't you excited?

I'm from Metropolis.

I see Superman every day.

You do? Could you get me

his autograph?

I don't know. If I had a nickel

for every time some little kid...

Yeah? What do you want?

We're in big trouble, aren't we?

- What?

- We're in big trouble.

First, they lost the invoice.

When they found it, they realized

they came up short on a few items.

So I rented a car because I missed the

plane from Cleveland. 4:00, you know.

And a flat tire on the highway.

What a kicker.

Had to fix it myself

with these little pinkies.

And I figured your boss was gonna be

real peeved, you know what I mean?

What do you mean?

He is going to hang our butts

against the wall.

He wanted this special order

installed...

...in his office by tomorrow morning.

So let me in because

I gotta set it up tonight.

Get all what set up?

Pal, you are a real lifesaver.

I mean, a real lifesaver.

- Which way's the office?

- Straight ahead.

- Follow me.

- I'm right behind you.

Not bad. It's pretty good.

You know what's wrong with

this Singapore... wing?

Sling! Singapore Sling.

What's wrong with it?

There's not enough vodka in it.

There's no vodka in it!

What did I tell you?

Put some vodka in it.

What did you... you know?

Here. There's vodka in it now, buddy.

Yeah, perfect.

- You never do pass out, do you?

- Nope.

Never.

Job well done, buddy.

You thought I was drunk too,

didn't you?

Fooled you.

Get the keys, get the keys.

Hello, baby!

How's the little baby?

All right, let's get down to it.

Let's do it.

One, two, button your shoe.

"Both keys at the same time"?

Wait. Wait a minute.

Think you've won, don't you?

The Philly Flash!

Okay, ready?

One, two, three!

We'll see what we'll see.

Come on, please.

There it is!

Hello! Now...

...getting down to business.

I am a genius.

I am a...

Longitude...

...and the other thing.

Latitude, right?

Oh, look, Maury.

A native wedding.

No one said at the Daily Planet

that this is the rainy season!

Meteorologists are baffled by

the tornado and rainstorms...

... that struck Colombia

this afternoon...

... threatening to destroy its entire

coffee crop for the next five years.

Gale force winds up to...

...an incredible 250 miles an hour

lashed the countryside...

...while 12 inches of rainfall have

already been recorded in just one day.

A spokesman for the Department of

Meteorology said, this was, I quote:

"The most awesome display of

natural forces since Noah's ark. "

If I laugh any harder,

I'll split my sides!

- To defy all laws of

weather systems known to science.

What a shame.

Poor little Colombia. Well...

I'm gonna get you for that,

you big silly!

Bubba, do you realize

what we're onto?

Do I?

Every time a drunk sobers up,

he'll drink Webster coffee.

Why stop at coffee?

A cup of coffee gets the world

off to work in the morning.

But what keeps the world working?

Diet soda?

Vera, you mean?

You mean?

Today, coffee.

Tomorrow...

...the oil!

- Oil?

- If Gus can push the right buttons...

I can have it all.

Holy cats!

All the oil.

All the pumps.

All the tankers.

This is some nifty idea, Vera.

- Boss?

- Very nifty.

- Just the man I want to see.

- It's not my fault.

Isn't it neat? There...

- What's not your fault?

- Superman.

How was I to know he'd start

doing his thing...

...when you started doing your thing?

- What are you talking about?

- What am I talk?

It was just on television, man.

Didn't you see it?

Don't call me "man."

I just saw Colombia bite the dust.

You didn't see the man come flying

out of the sky? It was him!

With his cape flapping in the...

His cape was flapping in the wind!

He was flying! He was great!

He was just flying around...

His cape was blowing in the wind.

It looked like a flag!

And he landed right in the middle

of this big plantation!

And he checked everything out

with his x-ray vision.

And then he put these laser beams

out of his eyes onto everything.

Straight-out laser points.

Dried up everything!

Just like that!

Dried it up,

like the machines in the men's rooms.

You know what I mean?

Hot air comes out when you put

your hands under.

Sometimes they don't work.

But Superman's works!

You think he stood around

to take bows? Not this man.

No, sir. He flies off again!

Then he saw what

really caused the trouble.

He flew into the tornado...

...went down to the bottom of it,

and turned it upside down!

He made the little end on top

and the big end on the bottom!

I was gonna go crazy!

Big end was on the bottom.

Mr. Ross, it was...

The big...

Superman's bad.

I'll say he was.

I mean, he was bad!

No.

Here, let me help.

- The perfect plan. Foolproof!

- And we were the fools.

It's not my fault.

I did what I was supposed to do.

He ruined it.

That lousy do-gooder ruined it.

Now that he's pulled off this stunt,

he'll try and ruin my oil scheme too.

- I've got to get rid of him.

- How?

Shoot him?

You know about him and bullets.

- Kryptonite.

- What?

Or krypton-ham, or krypton-heimer?

I forget what you call it,

but it's stuff that can hurt Superman.

- How do you know?

- I know a few things.

I know,

from the graffiti I saw.

Wait a second.

She's right.

I remember reading about it

in an interview with him.

Where is it from?

The planet Superman came from:

Krypton.

Where is Krypton?

It's nowhere.

It blew up in space, years ago.

They sent Superman here from there

when he was just a baby.

I know some things too.

Wait a minute. You know what happens

when a planet explodes.

- Debris. Things floating in space.

- So?

So all we have to do is find out

where in heaven Krypton used to be.

Then good ol' Gus contacts

the Vulcan satellite.

OI' Gus has been doing some thinking.

That's why I keep you around.

I've been thinking that I'm not making

enough money for this gig.

Gus, if there's anything I hate...

...it's greed.

Greed? Mr. Ross, just a minute.

Let me tell you something.

I can't ski!

Once Gus contacts

the Vulcan satellite...

... he orders it to search

through space...

... around where Krypton

went bye-bye.

Then the laser probe locks

onto a floating chunk of Kryptonite.

The computer analyzes

the components...

... and the boys at the lab

duplicate the stuff down here.

"Unknown"?

"Unknown"?

What the hell,

he ain't gonna smoke it.

Mr. White can't be responsible.

Where is he?

Please, Mr. Stokis.

He'll pay for this.

Get out your wallet!

Good morning.

Don't you "good morning" me.

"Old, old relationships

suddenly seem very much the same.

The prettiest girl in the school..."

- is still the prettiest girl

in the school.

- Hello?

- Hello. Oh, hi, Clark.

Lana! Hi, I was just

thinking about you.

Listen, I have a problem with Ricky.

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