Supporting Characters Page #9

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if you had any plans for tonight.

I was just calling to see if

you had any plans for tonight.

I don't know, maybe grab a drink or something?

If you're up for it.

Don't talk to me like that.

You're being

such a f***ing a**hole.

I know, I know. Babe, I know,

I'm a f***ing a**hole.

- Yeah, you are, and you know what else?

- And I'm working on that...

Well, you're not

trying hard enough.

And you know what? If you don't

get the f*** out of here,

I'm gonna call the doorman

on your ass.

And I'll whoop

his f***ing ass. Come on.

Look, I'll stay here all

f***ing night if I have to.

Yeah, good, you deserve it.

Can I get a blanket

and a pillow or something?

Get out of here, Sebastian,

I mean it.

I swear to God I will call the

f***ing cops on your ass!

Is everything okay?

Yeah, man, who are you?

I'm Nick. I'm a friend.

- Nick?

- Hey, Jamie.

Who are you?

I told you, I'm a friend.

Yeah, a friend

who fucks her, obviously.

- Shut the f*** up.

- What the f***? Are you f***ing this guy?

- No.

- That's a bottle of wine.

Have you f***ed anyone

since we split up?

No, I have not.

Tell me the truth! Have you

f***ed anyone since we split up?

Because I haven't.

Then what the f***

is he doing here?

- I'm gonna go. Are you cool?

- Yeah, you oughta go.

- No.

- She's f***ing fine, dude. What am I, Latin King?

- Bro, please, get the f*** out of here.

- No, no, no, please.

- Get the f*** out of here.

- No, stay.

- No, don't stay.

- You, answer me.

- Answer what?

- What?

Yes.

If you can convince me that you haven't

f***ed anyone since we split up,

I'll take you back.

So we're gonna make two stops,

Upper West Side, and...

- Upper East Side.

- Upper East Side.

- Okay, okay, close your eyes.

- Darryl, just...

- You're peeking, man.

- Just show me already.

Who's it for?

For? Come on, man.

For Liana.

You guys have been dating

for like, four months.

And it's going really well.

It's not going

really well, Darryl.

Objectively speaking,

it's going terribly.

Okay, well,

maybe the problem was that

I was just going

half-assed about it.

- Yeah, I don't think that was the problem, man.

- Trust me.

You seemed pretty

committed from day one.

I thought you'd be happy for me, man.

I want what you guys have.

- What I have?

- Yeah.

Darryl, what you see of me

and Amy is an illusion.

It's an illusion

that couples create

when a third party

enters the room. Okay?

It's not real.

Okay, when you're not there,

we're not cuddling

on the couch in our PJs,

eating ice cream

and watching reality TV.

Okay? That's not

what happens.

There's a lot of fighting,

there's a lot

of power dynamics, okay?

There's a lot of

tension recently.

Look at you, you get to sleep

in a bed all by yourself...

Alone.

You get to wake up late, and

no one gives you grief for it.

- And never underestimate this.

- What?

You get to have sex with people

you've never had sex with before.

That's very important.

Come on, Nick. Okay, I'm not

f***ing Brad Pitt, all right.

I'm not f***ing

any chick I want.

Give me a break, you're black

and you have a six pack.

I'm lucky to get a fat girl at the

end of a night at a club, all right?

And I know this, all right?

Have you seen Liana?

She's f***ing beautiful, man.

How much

did you pay for that ring?

- See, this is what you do...

- Come on, how much did you pay for it?

- No, this is what you do.

- Just tell me.

You ask me things that don't even matter.

How is that important?

- It matters to me...

- How is that important?

How much? How much?

With the band? Are you

talking about with the band?

Yeah. Band, tax, everything.

How much?

All together, it was 38.

$3,800.

The band is custom made.

How's it custom made

if you got it two hours ago?

It was custom made

for somebody else,

and then our love

matched their love.

I don't have to...

Darryl, the ring is cursed!

The ring is cursed!

That's a sign!

Oh, you're saying this?

Red alert! Don't do this.

This is a mistake.

Darryl, listen to me, okay?

Listen closely.

A good friend...

A good friend will say,

"Congratulations, man."

- Exactly.

- Okay?

- You've met a wonderful woman.

- Yeah.

- Who's going to make a terrific mother.

- Yes.

I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that

because I am a great friend.

Stop. This, I get it now.

You know what it is?

We just come from

different cultures, man.

- The race card.

- Yeah.

- Now you're playing the race card.

- No, not the race card.

- It's a culture.

- It's always been the elephant in the room,

and now you're

going to play it. Okay.

How about this, then?

All right, listen to this.

Why don't you call up

one of your black friends

- and ask them if you should get married.

- I will.

Good. Ask them. Ask if

they think it's a good idea.

I bet he would.

You know what? You know

what he would probably say?

He'd say, "Hey, don't even

bother getting married.

"Just have

a bunch of kids instead."

- Okay, that's f***ing racist.

- Okay.

You step out of

bounds sometimes.

- All right, all right.

- No, no.

You just crossed

a line there. No.

And you know another thing?

This D-Money sh*t.

Every time I come into a room

you introduce me as D-Money.

It's your screen name.

I made that screen name when

I was in seventh grade, man.

It's a bit you do on me.

It's not funny, man.

- People love the bit.

- Respect that, though.

Just listen to what

I'm saying, man.

- Darryl, sit down. Come back.

- No, man.

Show me the ring.

Darryl!

- Hey, I've got your answer.

- Hey.

Great. I'm pre-coming.

What is it?

I'll work for half.

- Really?

- But I'll only work half the amount.

- No, no.

- Look, Darryl works days. I work nights.

That way you'll get your

edit twice as fast, okay?

So you can either pay us now,

or pay us later to re-edit

someone else's mess.

Okay? Either way,

I'm not working alone.

I don't know, man.

- You don't know.

- I don't know.

F*** you, you don't know.

- F*** me?

- Yeah.

- F*** you.

- You f***ing owe me.

You owe me. How many times have

I saved you over these years?

- How many times...

- How many times?

How many f***ing piece of sh*t

turd movies have you given me

that I made into presentable films?

How many times?

- Sh*t.

- Mike, look.

Just relax.

Who else do you know

that can do what I can do?

Hmm?

Can you just turn that off for a second.

I'm so sorry to interrupt.

- This is just going to take a minute.

- What are you doing?

Baby, I want you to have these.

Um...

I know we, uh...

We have our ups and downs.

Wow, you look so

beautiful right now.

But, uh...

I love you so much.

Truly, and...

I would be honored

to make you my wife.

Will you marry me?

- Yeah.

- Yes. She said, "Yes."

- What are you doing?

- You said, "Yes," though, right?

That was a real "yes," right?

I didn't want to make you feel

bad in front of my entire class.

You said, "yes," so I

wouldn't be embarrassed?

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