Surf School

Okay. Lacrosse season

is already over, right?

And you've already got

a scholarship to Maryland.

So, check this.

I made the call.

There's a club team

in Laguna Beach

that you can play on to stay sharp.

Huh? Huh?

Wow.

Come on, honey,

it's only 6 months, right?

Yeah... the last 6 months

of senior year.

Come on, honey.

It's California.

Isn't it just possible to have

a great senior year in California?

Dude. Buy you a surfboard, dude.

Hey, Barney.

Didn't they teach you in Mary-land

not to play with your stick in public?

Yeah, Fred, stop shooting

all over our wall.

That dude's like... whoa.

Roach. Roach!

Well, he's got,

like, a stick, man.

Roach!

Little snogger.

Roach, enough!

Yeah, dude.

You're fried. Remember?

Whoa. Yeah.

Hey, you want to try a real sport?

Let us know.

Yeah. We use our sticks

for more important things on this coast.

Surfing is... god.

Right?

Tyler.

You get in any more trouble,

you're not going to Costa Rica

for senior trip.

I'll see you later...

Mary.

Let's go.

What, is it over?

Yeah, it's over.

Let's go.

He sure is good with his stick.

Get your own stick, sweetie.

He's mine.

Hey, yo, yo.

East Coast, what's up?

Name's Taz.

- Like, uh, Tasmanian devil?

- Yeah.

That's cool.

So I heard Tyler and his ass clowns

gave you the Laguna welcome.

Oh, yeah. Nice guys.

O, Father who art in heaven,

please show mercy

on the virgin Larry

and allow him to get laid

before he dies of

crotch rot or worse!

Larry's the only senior virgin.

The virgin Larry.

Yeah. Watch this.

Get the hell out, man.

Whoa. Ugly little freak.

Don't you have a circus to join?

Ah, and here comes Mary.

Don't you have

a stick to play with?

Go hug your board, Tyler.

I'm sure if you drilled

a small enough hole in it,

you two could be very happy.

Whoa.

I love my board, man.

Totally... hot.

Okay. Fine.

You can have your virgin Larry.

I'm sure you girls will have

plenty of time to bond...

while we're partying in Costa Rica.

Roach.

Is it over?

Yeah, Roach, it's over.

Dude.

I hope those ass clowns

die in Costa Rica.

Stupid High School

Surfing Championship.

I dreamed about monkeys last night.

They have monkeys in Costa Rica.

I dreamed that, you know,

I made friends with one on the senior trip.

Okay. Larry, you've got to stop

with these gay-ass dreams.

Seriously.

Look, have you been reading

those Hustlers I gave you?

A lot of the pages are stuck together.

Yeah, they do that.

Uh, humidity.

Hey. Who's that?

Oh, that's my boy Mo.

Yeah. Ah, he's cool.

Tyler's always trying to suck up to him,

but he likes us.

Yeah?

And the hottie?

That's Chika,

the new Japanese exchange student.

Ah, she can't speak a word of English,

but, uh, Mo's waiting on her.

What's up, Taz?

All right.

Hey, we got East Coast.

What's up, man?

Hey, man, how's that song coming?

This guy, he's... he's incredible.

Not really feeling

the flow lately, man.

I need something to make it pop.

Whoa!

Hey, come on, dude.

Hey, hey.

This girl freaks me out.

She's, like, possessed or something.

I call her Po, but her name's Doris.

"Po" for potential.

Telling you, up under that

depressed-ass body is, like, Beyonc.

Yeah? Hey. I'm, uh...

Oh. Don't worry about old East Coast.

He don't really know.

She don't like nobody talking to her.

So I'm hearing the senior trip

is invitation only?

What is that?

I mean, come on, this is our class, too.

We can't just sit here while they party

in Costa Rica.

Right?

Uh... yeah, we can.

We ain't going nowhere.

Surf school?

Brothers don't surf.

Look, the senior trip is the second week

of Easter break.

So, go down a week early,

we learn to surf,

pull the biggest upset in history,

and then we party our

asses off like heroes.

East Coast,

what kind of sh*t you smoking?

Maybe he's right.

I mean...

I dreamed about that

Costa Rican monkey again.

Larry, you need to be spanking the monkey,

not dreaming about it.

I already found someplace

to stay... dirt cheap.

I mean, come on.

We get one chance at senior year.

I mean, let's go for it.

Hey, man, you know,

East Coast might have something here.

I'll get Chika to go with us

on this little road trip.

Get my sushi to go.

There you go.

I'm down.

Let's do it.

What about the rest of you guys?

Now we're talking.

See you ladies in Costa Rica.

Hi, Doris. Do you like

my new princess outfit?

I got you this pink cap for your trip.

Now, you know,

I spoke to your folks in Tokyo.

And you got to be crazy

if you think

we gonna let your cute little booty

go to Costa Rica.

And that brother

you been hanging out with?

His chopstick better not go near

that little sushi of yours.

You understand?

- I promise.

- Uh-huh.

- I shread.

- I shread?

I heard.

You're gonna shread

right hear in Laguna.

Now, it's very humid in Costa Rica,

so you are going to have to change

your underpants at least twice a day.

Now, Lawrence,

I know there are going to be lots

of pretty young girls there.

What do we think of pretty young girls?

Satan's spawn, Mother.

- Satan's spawn, Mother...

- Darling.

And what else, baby boy?

Beelzebub's b*tches.

Yes! And?

Lucifer's lusty lasses?

Yes! And?

Daughters of the Antichrist.

Yes. And?

- The devil's dogs.

- Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, my beautiful Lawrence Horatio Bates,

Home Economics magazine's

teen of the year.

Come on, now. You don't need

to search my bag, do you?

Uh, yeah. I heard there's this Costa Rican

Halloween holiday, so...

My dentist recommended that.

I have a... underbite.

Mommy, what's that?

Ah... ah, honey, that's just a toy.

Can I get a toy like that?

You can borrow mine.

Wow. I just saw

my first real monkey. Look.

Larry, forget about the real monkeys.

You're here to get that monkey

off your back, all right?

The only word I want to hear

out of your mouth is "beaver," got it?

Let's go. Come on.

Man, it's hot.

Rock and roll.

Hey, Taz, do you want any sunscreen?

No way, man.

I want to burn!

Mother says the tropical sun

can be very dangerous.

Man! I feel like myself again

getting out there!

Whoo! Let's go to the beach.

You know what time it is?

You seen my Ritalin?

Let's go.

What are we waiting on?

What do you guys want to do?

Come on.

Let's go to the beach.

Rock and roll.

Larry, you, uh, missed a few spots.

Where?

Everywhere.

It's like a brother's buffet.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Garon,

I'll have the pink.

I'll take the blue.

Oh. Oh, I could write a song

about that thong.

Yummy.

Hold the phone.

Check, please.

I'll take those three to go.

From what I saw on the Internet,

this place is off the hook.

Larry, there are a ton of monkeys.

Don't even get me started on the chicks.

Okay, guys, just stay calm.

I'm sure there's an explanation.

Look, man, I got your explanation.

See, she got, like, three booties

mashed into one.

Okay!

That's right, cowards.

Be afraid.

Try to even undress her with your eyes,

and I will cut you

like Siberian seal, alive.

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